MooNoi Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 Hey Guys, some advice needed if you have any. A friend of mine I used to work with when I lived in Bangkok has recently been made redundant by his employer over there. He got a retrenchment payout and has basically spent 3 months pissing it up against the wall and providing vet care for sick buffalos. I spoke to him yesterday and he said he is going to take a job teaching English for about 30,000 baht per month. When I asked him how he's going to cope going from about 100,000 baht per month to this new salary he said: "well I'll just have to, won't I?" (He's not qualified in teaching English so will no doubt end up in a shitty "school" where's he's not really qualified to teach people how to speak English). I then suggested he could "come home to the "real world" and get a well-paying job". (This guy is a proessional person, and would find a job here quite easily, but its hard to find employment in his field in Thailand). Yes it will take him some time to adjust to life back in Farangland again - I know this after my 7 years in Asia - but it is possible, and quite often it's the best thing to do. My mate's going to have to move out of his current apartment and completely adjust his lifestyle from what he's used to "just to stay in Asia". What's the point? He said "I can't leave Asia, I've got to stay here. Why would I want to come home? It's boring there?" I'm really worried that my mate's living in Fantasyland and can't see the writing on the wall. He's single, no kids, so there's nothing tying him to living in Asia. Just beaches, beers and ho's. To be honest, I'm worried he's going to completely mess up his life and can't see the forest for the trees, but it seems nothing myself or anyone else has said to him will get through. Having said that, I did know a lot of people when I lived in LOS in this situation, and the thought of "going home" was totally unacceptable. I also said to him "how are you going to keep your lifestyle if you get an English teaching job for 30 - 40,000 per month" and he merely replied "I'll find a way. I'll just go with cheaper girls and won't drink as much." WTF? It seems he's really lost touch with reality and I don't know what to say to him to make him see sense. I'm sure a lot of you expats have seen guys up there lose touch with reality and "have to stay in Asia at any cost" and end making a real mess of their life. I don't want to see this happen to my mate, but I think he's going to have to learn the hard way. Any ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 "...I'm sure a lot of you expats have seen guys up there lose touch with reality and "have to stay in Asia at any cost" and end making a real mess of their life..." No one on this board. "...Any ideas? ..." yeah, but who'd listen? Certainly NOT your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted September 11, 2010 Report Share Posted September 11, 2010 OH is right. He should either get away from Thailand and think about things or find a GTG with a rich family who will give him a job (long shot). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 If I had a satang for every expat expert who "knew it all and had it all sorted" while not really knowing shit...I'd be rich...and living in Thailand, as expat expert who didn't know shit...other guys have it down right, and get along well. Like any foreigner in ANY country, some do well, some figure it out, others don't...who's to say? all that matters in the end is that people are happy with what they have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 Its a difficult one Piggy but I know exactly how your mate feels since I have had to also make a similar decision. When I first worked in Thailand back in '91 it was over on the Eastern Seaboard Map Ta Phut / Rayong areas and was able to pick up a nearly seamless continuation of contracts until '98 as a result of the 97 crash. After 6 months of waiting for "the next contract" I realised it wasn't going to happen any time soon and knew I had to spread my net wider. It was a little bit more difficult for me since I was married at the time and the wifes son was living with us, but I moved us to Bangkok, bought an apartment there and headed off to the Middle East to crank up the Baht machine again before I lost what I already had. The marriage ended up in divorce but in hindsight that was a blessing in disquise even though it didn't seem so at the time. In the 12 years that have passed since I have worked in many countries including the States where I met a Thai female studying for her Masters Degree out there, we have been together for 7 years now and just coming up to our fourth wedding anniversary. I have had contracts in Thailand during this period a 12 month one is 2002 and 3 years between 2005-08. One of the advantages of having Thailand as home base is that, in my field, travel from port of origin is part of the package so I never had to pay for flights and working on a rotation such as 8 weeks on 2 weeks off is equivalent to spending 20% of the year in Thailand and I do take extended breaks between differant contracts, I have just spent 6 months in Thailand before starting my current position. I personaly have never seen the point in working for less than your actual worth just to stay in a country full time, quality of time / life in Thailand is much more important to me than quantity and eventualy one day I will be in a financial position where I will be able to retire in Thailand in comfort. On a teachers salary your mate is not going to be able to save for his future and the eventual inevitable of having to leave will occur and it will be a bigger wrench if this happens 10-15 years down the line, and he leaves without a pot to piss in than if it was to happen now. He is better off utilising his earning capacity, visit Thailand as often as he can and make long term plans, including financial investments to work towards returning permanently as and when such time arises. Stick with it Piggy, keep trying to talk sense into your mate, I have lost count of the number of broken men I have seen leaving Thailand over the years, returning to the west with nothing and never being in a position to ever come back due to lack of funds, and it would be sad to see this happen to another man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 talk sense? if you had any sense, would you still be living at home , on a 9-5 job bored wondering what could have been? It is the risk takers, the guys who cast it all to chance, take the risk and make shit happen...those are the guys who live the dream, while the rest of us sit at home where it is safe. The risk takers are those who can and do, those who take the risk to make it happen. Some fail, come up with a new plan and start again...wish I had balls like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allistar Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 I could think of all sorts of things that would convince him to go home. You could hire some Thai cops off duty to go to his apartment and "find" a small amount of drugs and then escort him to the airport with the warning that, if he comes back, he will be arrested. You could also hire some thais to act like Thai hoodlums and scare him enough to go home (Wearth could probably help with that). But, I don't think that you are looking for those kind of suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 Make hay while the sun shines...soooo critical, IMO! Keep chatting the financial picture with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 Sad as that is...some guys STILL would not get the message and leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous God Posted September 12, 2010 Report Share Posted September 12, 2010 So money is everything? Sometimes people place their happiness first, send him home and saying this seriously, maybe he decides to top himself, how will you feel? You've told him your thoughts, and they are good ones, you've pushed enough. Thinking about someone similar, Blackie, I bet he was happy he stayed in Thailand far too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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