Pom_Jao_Choo Posted June 9, 2002 Report Share Posted June 9, 2002 I don't think Sanuk should have to put anything about "No Feminism" on this board. By it's nature it is intended to be a retreat for men to discuss what pleases them in life not to be further hounded by what we are trying to escape. This should be something of a sanctuary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 9, 2002 Report Share Posted June 9, 2002 You are right on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted June 9, 2002 Report Share Posted June 9, 2002 GTG: >But she isn't getting anywhere because Thalenoi is married. Her security is not as secure as getting married to him, right? How long is he going to take care of her? No one even him dare not to answer?< and: >Got a bit shocked when I learned that he?s married because he showed so much that he treated her right and all that but he?s MARRIED. Yes, caring and marriage is two separate things. But to me to care with someone is to make it right to the end (marriage) as well. If not, you don?t care enough.< I think you are making a valid point, by explaining to us how important it is for TW to get the security of marriage. It is something that I didn't quite understand until recently. (I'm sorry, I can really only relate these discussions to my own experiences, I don't know enough about other people's situation (such as Thalenoi's) to be able to comment on theirs. If that bores others, don't read it) When I first met Nok, 2 years ago, I was married in my own country. I told her from the start that I may never come back. When after a few visits she said she wanted to be my Mia Noi, I explained that was not possible. When my marriage finally started to fall apart, and I came to LOS in december last year, she interpreted that as me wanting to be with her permanently, and she said she wanted to be more than just my mia noi. I was not ready for a new permanent committment, and kept telling her that. In the end, she started to understand that, and when faced with the choice, she opted for 'Ted', who was unmarried and prepared to marry her. I can't blame her, she needed the committment, i couldn't or wouldn't give it. Without wanting to offend those who hate the word feminism, it does shed a light on this. As a fairly well off, middle class white male I didn't need 'committement' of marriage to feel secure in my future. As a (ex?) BG, with little financial resources, and strong feelings of duty towards her family, with her strongest asset (her beauty and youth) rapidly running out, she did need that commitment to feel secure. For those with power, it is sometimes hard to put yourself in the shoes of those with less power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted June 9, 2002 Report Share Posted June 9, 2002 GTG wrote: "Please read it carefully. Thalenoi bought the present from overseas, not in Thailand. So his gf might think it could not be returned," GTG, maybe it was not clear in my post, the presents being returned by my gf had been brought form overseas as well, not bought in Thailand. Certainly, just 2-3 of them over last 7 visits, but still, she does not just shut up and take what she does not like or what does not fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted June 9, 2002 Report Share Posted June 9, 2002 GTG Wrote: "NOPE, you?ve got it all wrong. In this case, knowing you gf is better of by your financial support, the mother asked your gf to take care of the sis. Notice the request from the mum, ?to make sure she's been eating and sleeping properly? . If not , so what? The mum expects your gf to help her sis out." GTG, you are using words stronger than appropriate here. My gf has been better off since January 1 this year. Three weeks ago the older sis lost her job (on 150Bht a day) in her hometown and came to BKK (well, an hour and a half by bus from Ekammai station) to work in a factory for 5000Bht. She left her two kids with the mother. What's the mathematics here? The sis pays 1000Bht for her room and, if she lives on rice soup, she may be able to save 2-3K Bht a month and send back to her (an my gf's) mum. My gf could have saved and smuggled that money through and let her sister stay at home and look after the kids. That way she would really help them both - the kids would be with their mother, grandma would not have to worry about them and the money coming to the family would be at the same level. And no dangerous work over 12-hours night shifts. Note: Her sister works. Her sister does not live with my gf although there is plenty of room. Her sister does not eat at my gf's place. My gf did not have to tell me about her sister's job. When she did, she could have omitted that the sis has found another job. The concern here was, I think, that her sister accepted some position that requires her to work every second night 7pm-7am or something like that for an extra 800Bht per month. Finally, GTG, this post propelles me into the world of "enthusiasts". Thanks...Hope it does not email my boss about my new status and how I got there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 GTG, "Got a bit shocked when I learned that he?s married because he showed so much that he treated her right and all that but he?s MARRIED" In a thread where someone explained "polygamy" I mentionned I invited "my legal" for dinner and that we talked about my Thai gf. That does not mean I LIVE with my legal. You are indeed quick to make judgements without knowing the facts. Would it hit your brains my "legal" might have asked me why I do invite her to a restaurant, why I rent a house in Thailand, how come I spent 4 months out of 6 in Thailand and what I do with a TG in my house and bed??? "he showed so much that he treated her right", where in jour comments did you mention this??? I rather recall you were trying to prove the opposite. "How can we fully appreciate it if he omitted an important piece of info not to mention didn?t tell the full story??? Is it fair for the readers? If you want to share a story like this and don?t want to reveal your identity maybe you should register on another name. I don?t? like people who mislead other people." The full story would take 200 pages and I don`t care about my identity but rather about my privacy (health, finances, why I can`t stay more than 3 months in a row in Thailand) "Misleading people" because you have a different value reference system??? "and has even agreed to give up beer with dinner (now THAT"S commitment ) He?s got a health problem here, remember? He's doing to himself. " This is one of your typical replies from your last post, certainly NOT respectful. An other 16 days to go with medical examinations and lawyers and insurance "experts" and I will sleep with Mee again, hear her laughing and have childish fun when a wave will hit her from behind playing in the sea, biking together through fishing villages and banana plantations. Yeah, I know, it`s cheap and she is getting the short end of the stick. I do know she is frightened something might happen to me whilst I am away, probably counting missing baht... Btw, didn`t you have unanswerred questions??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 thalenoi, I think it's admirable that you've shared so much info about yourself and mee w/everyone on this board. I think it's unfortunate that your post was put under the microscope which led you to become defensive when I thought your original intention was to let other board members know that it's possible for a farang & an ex-bg to have a good relationship. Good luck to you and mee. Hope you both find the happiness you both deserve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 You are absolutely right. And especially when the person who seems to be bashing his relationship the MOST, is the person whose opinon about it means nothing to the relationship. Definitely nothing "Good" about that behavior. I'ts interseting how some people find pleasure in that. I'm sure thalenoi has some regret for ever even sharing it. Thats too bad... I too think it's nice he shared it and am sure most of us got his point. I also wish him well with it. troydeere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted June 13, 2002 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 think_too_mut, I don't get your point. But what I wanted to say is that the mum might want your gf to help out once in a while, that's why the mum ask your gf to see the sis. It's good that the sis doesn't live with yourgf. I doubt that the sis wants to. Are you saying yourgf should sneak the money and give it to the sis to help out so the sis doesn't have to work in Bkk and take care of the kids back home? Are you encouraging people to be a leech ? Some human beings choose help themselves and work their ass off rather with little money then being dependent to anyone. I hope I put it in English correctly. GTG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted June 13, 2002 Author Report Share Posted June 13, 2002 thalenoi, >That does not mean I LIVE with my legal. That's not the point. You are married. Your bg is still only your mia noi without a secure future. Read Phoenix's post. It really confirms my point of security issue. >"he showed so much that he treated her right", where in jour comments did you mention this??? I rather recall you were trying to prove the opposite. OK I should have said 'he thought he treated her right'. How about that? >"Misleading people" because you have a different value reference system??? Not at all. I don't know why it is so hard for you to understand my point. You tried to say that it is possible to have a 'relationship' with an ex-bg but failed to mention that it is a 'mia noi' relationship. I don't think it's fair for me or any readers. Mia noi relationship is different. She has to put up with the legal and feels insecure, just like any other mia noi - I guess. >>He?s got a health problem here, remember? He's doing to himself. " >This is one of your typical replies from your last post, certainly NOT respectful. Why? So, is it true then? That's why you feel so defensive ? >Yeah, I know, it`s cheap and she is getting the short end of the stick. I do know she is frightened something might happen to me whilst I am away, probably counting missing baht... You have admitted it or just a sarcasm. GTG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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