OK the sex is great, but then what?

[check_bin_krap]

It makes it easier in a relationship the easier it is to communicate. Some shared interest helps. This does not mean that you should be as alike as possible.

 

 

 

A strong will to want to understand your partner and make some sacrafices to do this is important. If you lead seperate social lifes all the time it will not work.

 

 

 

It takes a lot of effort and is difficult to get a good relationship between a farang and a typical BG with low education. For starters they can barely understand eachother when they talk. Of course, with love and a lot of effort it can still work out.

 

 

 

To conclude, it is BS to say that it does not matter if partners are compatible in a relationship or not.

[Guest]

>To conclude, it is BS to say that it does not matter if partners are compatible in a relationship or not. <

 

 

 

there are other compabilities than intellectual compability, and IMO more important ones, like love, trust, etc.

 

 

 

every relationship needs a lot of effort to work out in the long run.

 

just look at the divorce rate in the west where people presumably mainly get together with partners from a similar educational background most of the time. doesn't seem to me that there people found the receipt for a perfect relationship either.

[check_bin_krap]

"there are other compabilities than intellectual compability, and IMO more important ones, like love, trust, etc.

 

 

 

every relationship needs a lot of effort to work out in the long run."

 

 

 

I am a bit confused here. Are you saying that the only things which matter in a relationship is love, trust and effort? Cultural differences, interests, ability to communicate with eachother and common ground means nothing? Step out of your own relationship/marriage a bit, and try to view these things more from a neutral view.

 

 

 

Cheers!

[bibblies]

You're confused because you're twisting what's been said each time and then responding to your twisted version.

 

 

 

For example, he just said it's "more important", not that these are the "only things that matter" and I'd agree with him. Love, trust, empathy, understanding come above the rest. Communication is essential to those processes, of course, but they don't have to both be poet Laureates for that.

[radioman]

Indded, some things are more important but few things have no bearing at all. A relationship between a man and a woman, depends on so many things which is probably why so many don't work out in the long run, the relative merits or importance of a few small considerations really miss the whole point.

 

 

 

FTR, my wife is not particularly well educated but has a major street smarts, can read a person in seconds, drives me nuts sometimes just how right she is, always.

 

 

 

Thinking about it more, I think one, and only one thing mind out of the whole tool box full of stuff, is that unlike a previous less than happy life, she makes me smile, every morning when I wake up, every evening when we are close and she reveals some little detail of her day, even when she berates me for being a butterfly. Her cooking, really, a thai who can cook mixed thai farang food and make it work. It's all done with that innocent yet honest, almost passionate, feeling that has me weak at the knees in seconds. It's been this way since the day I met her and we've been together a few years now, it's hard to see it ever ending. Sure you never know but I couldn't live if I was constantly thinking of the risk, have enough of that in other parts of my life.

 

 

 

M.

 

 

 

p.s. The sex is still ball blowing.

 

 

[Guest]

cultural differences - makes the whole thing more interesting.

 

interests - some are common, some aren't. people can learn.

 

communication - easy, learn the other's language. i did that by communicating a lot with the missus, no real effort needed, the easiest part.

 

common ground - can be found, just an ability to compromise.

 

 

 

 

 

neutral view - ???

[jxxxl]

M,

 

 

 

You are spot on, but here's my two cents.

 

 

 

I get all the intellectual gymnastics I can stomach at work each day. When I'm with my Thai GF, all I expect is for her to make me laugh and feel relaxed which she does very well. Having been married to an American women in a past life, what drove me up the wall was her constant need for conversation and interesting conversation. With my TGF, she just knows when to talk and has no problem with silence.

 

 

 

Silence is totally lost in western culture. I can't tell you how sick I am of the s*&t that western women call conversation. If I go to a cocktail party where there are educated western women ( I guess my intellectual equals) I often feel like I want to puke when I have to listen to all their pretentious and PC BS. And, they just lie in wait to bust your balls if you make one politically incorrect, or God forbid, slightly sexist comment.

 

 

 

Also, I find it funny to read posts about BGs, frelancers, whatever, that talk about education which implies, or sometimes directly mentions (re: Stickman), a "class" distinction. I think this is a real hangup for farangs trying to have a relationship with a BG.

 

 

 

For me, I love everything about by uneducated girlfriend and would never trade her in for some "educated" yappy cow.

 

 

 

P.S. the sex is mindblowing and I don't expect it to get boring anytime soon.

[radioman]

I think the real point here is that if you're looking for a partner who can provide the 'higher intellectual and social' whatever, then maybe Thailand is not the best all round deal. No contest, there are clever, witty, sophisticated women in Thailand. What I really liked was the abundance of women more likely to be my 'soul mate'. That is, of a different socio-economic group.

 

 

 

I think the original poster made some good points. I get the same 'not another gogo bar' feeling, unless it's something really special anytime I enter such a place, which is rare. The bit about TGF looging bored at farang parties botherd me. Buddha forbid I ever time to think of attending such things. Why then do I not feel out of place at any Thai social function?

 

 

 

Oh yeah, nearly forgot, think this is headed more and more into the relationships arena......moderator, MODERATOR...

 

 

 

M.

 

 

[Mentors]

There are alot younger prettier girls but I'm starting to realise that personality plays a very large part,

 

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i think you starting with illumination same as me!

[Guest]

I think, it is not a matter of being together with a BG or a GTG or someone else.

 

 

 

If there is a fitting, the things are fine.