think_too_mut Posted October 29, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 >You told us your gf is 27. Her partner died 3 year ago when she was 23 and they had 10 years together..... The girls met at their then work (cleaners at a hospital) and stayed together for 10 years. When it turned into a relationship, I don't really know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 29, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 >Though how hard you've tried, how careful you've been, you never understand them. Big deal! Not understanding bgs. Human kind craves that more than, say, AIDS vaccine? Maybe, there is one thing you don't understand: the important part of the farang culture is a personal commitment to accomplish things. Success or failure that comes out is less important. Certainly, with strong commitments there are more positive than negative outcomes. This time it was a failure but not due to lack of my commitment. That is what counts. So, what's the score here? Who won? My gf that will keep on running blind (with some more skills) or me who will recover in a few weeks and still posess my ability to concentrate on what I want to achieve? She will never understand what I was trying to do. I understand now what I have gotten out of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted October 30, 2002 Report Share Posted October 30, 2002 Yep, TTM. You are stronger for it. You have added one experience, it has made you wiser. As long as you do not let it get you bitter and cynical you have come out on top. You have done your best. Cheers and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted October 30, 2002 Report Share Posted October 30, 2002 I said, "Though how hard you've tried, how careful you've been, you never understand them." You said, "Big deal! Not understanding bgs. Human kind craves that more than, say, AIDS vaccine?" I feel you are looking down on bgs with this comment of yours ! :: Wouldn't it nice to be able to understand who you love ? .............. You said, "Maybe, there is one thing you don't understand: the important part of the farang culture is a personal commitment to accomplish things. Success or failure that comes out is less important. Certainly, with strong commitments there are more positive than negative outcomes. This time it was a failure but not due to lack of my commitment. That is what counts. OK, it's not your fault (lack of your commitment). ................... You said, "So, what's the score here? Who won? My gf that will keep on running blind (with some more skills) or me who will recover in a few weeks and still posess my ability to concentrate on what I want to achieve? Who won? Hard to say, really. She got cash for her family, so she didn't lose face. But she lost you (walking ATM for life) in the process. You lost your marriage, which might be going down hill anyway without this girl? Lost a little bit of your money - no big deal for you. Emotional roller coaster for a few month? It will pass - like most things. Time will heal. You'll find a new bg in no time after that, I'm sure. Shall we see you more often in Bangkok, by the way? .................. You said, "She will never understand what I was trying to do." Maybe she never think about it ? Maybe she doesn't try to understand you at all? .................... You said, "I understand now what I have gotten out of." One lesson learned. A bit more wiser, I hope. But then again, people often do the same mistakes. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 30, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2002 >I feel you are looking down on bgs with this comment of yours No, no, never. I love to be their advocate. >Wouldn't it nice to be able to understand who you love ? I love whoever appears to be loveable. Then, the person may cease to be loveable. >You lost your marriage, which might be going down hill anyway without this girl? True. The Bg has been a side issue, a background noise. >Shall we see you more often in Bangkok, by the way? Probably not. I have never been there for sex. This stint was more like a project. Wanted to see it through and the girl standing on her own feet. Along the way, I loved her. If she did not love me, fine, as long as she benefited in terms of gaining real skills and being deattached from the bar life. >You'll find a new bg in no time after that, I'm sure. No. No bars for me, I have always hated them. Loved to see the girls but hated us, farangs, who go there. My 4 visits to the bars. No need for me to pay for sex. The best things in life are for free. C'mon GTG, you know how this happened to me. >Maybe she never think about it ? Maybe she doesn't try to understand you at all? True. She wants her security, that's all she understands. >One lesson learned. A bit more wiser, I hope. A lesson? Even 10 yrs old knows it is not good to mess with prostitutes. If becoming cynical and unable to enjoy female company after this is a lesson, I don't really need it. This was just one try that did not hit a fertile ground. One failure to doom me? Naaah. BTW, I don even think it was a complete failure. Maybe it's just harder and more demanding than what I anticipared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted October 30, 2002 Report Share Posted October 30, 2002 Bibblies > Given the nature of this board, I'm surprised that no one's chosen the handle 'Henry Higgins'. Or Colonel Pickering... I can't stop using three dots... < I thought about Henry Higgins, I certainly did my time impersonating him!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted November 3, 2002 Report Share Posted November 3, 2002 >This stint was more like a project. Just like the movie "My Fair Lady" indeed ! >Wanted to see it through and the girl standing on her own feet. But from your story you had known all along that she had no intention to use her education to get a job to support herself- just to upgrade her knowlege and skill to be a better wife for you. >If she did not love me, fine, as long as she benefited in terms of gaining real skills and being deattached from the bar life. As it has turned out, she decided to go back to her old profession. More and easier money she used to make. >>You'll find a new bg in no time after that, I'm sure. >No. No bars for me, I have always hated them. Loved to see the girls but hated us, farangs, who go there. My 4 visits to the bars. No need for me to pay for sex. Oops, you're making many board members upset. :: >The best things in life are for free. Some of them but not all of them. >C'mon GTG, you know how this happened to me. Sorry I forgot. >A lesson? Even 10 yrs old knows it is not good to mess with prostitutes. You're making MORE board members upset. :: >If becoming cynical and unable to enjoy female company after this is a lesson, I don't really need it. I knew that. But is it going to be a new project with a new bg? >This was just one try that did not hit a fertile ground. That could be the reason for your failure. You didn't pay her enough. But what is enough anyway :: What is the situation right now? Is it over for good? How did she react to it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted November 3, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2002 >Wanted to see it through and the girl standing on her own feet. >>But from your story you had known all along that she had no intention to use her education to get a job to support herself- just to upgrade her knowlege and skill to be a better wife for you. Until she understood that knowing something can enpower her. The other day her computer died, had to be reinstalled, everything, the operating system from the boot disks, modem, mail, messenger...everything. From the "Blue Screen of Death" to a fully functional system. And she did it - 3 hours and she was back talking and emailing. A combination of her English and computer skills, honed. Would you, GTG, know how to do that? >As it has turned out, she decided to go back to her old profession. More and easier money she used to make. Not true. She has applied for a job with BTS. Sitting in that glassy booth and changing money, giving directions to the tourists. >>No. No bars for me, I have always hated them. Loved to see the girls but hated us, farangs, who go there. My 4 visits to the bars. No need for me to pay for sex. > Oops, you're making many board members upset. Board members know more than few ways to meet Thai girls without going to the bars. >What is the situation right now? Is it over for good? How did she react to it? A long story. I am considering giving her another chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted November 3, 2002 Report Share Posted November 3, 2002 ">Wanted to see it through and the girl standing on her own feet. But from your story you had known all along that she had no intention to use her education to get a job to support herself- just to upgrade her knowlege and skill to be a better wife for you. >If she did not love me, fine, as long as she benefited in terms of gaining real skills and being deattached from the bar life." There are enough honest, hard working people in this world worth helping. I find it is easier to do this as a friend than in a relationship. One's thinking tends to get irrational when love is involved. My experience (learned the hard way) is also that if I decide to get into a relationship, its important to know the person very well. Well enough to not doubt that the person really loves me for who I am. Time is limited in this life. I don't have love to waste on people who do not deserve it. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted November 3, 2002 Report Share Posted November 3, 2002 GTG, On wednesday you attacked TTM and tried to flame and bait him on 4 occasions in 1 posting. TTM responded in such a great way that I knew you would not understand the subtilities, and indeed what do I see now ? Exactly, some more totally misplaced silly comments. Please, if you have nothing to contribute in this thread, leave it alone, and if you have a personal message for another member, use a PM then. Please go back and edit your post, otherwise I will. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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