thalenoi Posted October 23, 2002 Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 TTM, Welcome back on earth. [color:"red"]She lost a bit of "face" by getting money only for school and to live. Everybody thought she could fulfill all their wishes and that's what she had to do - to show she's got more than a stipendy. Land, small house...probably more but I don't know what.[/color] Pay with your-her money whatever family members desire, that what it boils too? This is similar to what my GF did, take 30k out of her bank account (my money) to give to her parents for a downpayment to buy land. Nothing would have stopped her doing so. If I would have said such a move to be unacceptable she would have left me and go out to work for her parents. Since this seems to be a downpayment, its not the end of the story, I am affraid. And I don't understand why, besides greed, her parents at their age "need" more land to cultivate. Maybe they could rent it out to increase revenue? Who knows... [color:"red"]After all this, I understand much better why Thai girls are given responsibilities since their early childhood.[/color] Can you expand on this statement? I would like to understand what you mean. What is the plan for the near future? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 23, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 >After all this, I understand much better why Thai girls are given responsibilities since their early childhood. >>Can you expand on this statement? I would like to understand what you mean. I got confused when I heard it for the first time - a tourist guide showed us sculptures at Wat Po and there were female statues inside a house while male ones were on the outside. He expanded on how important women were and are, that whole family structure leans on them etc... My gf told me, when she was age 5-7, it was her duty to cook for the family. For almost 2 years. 3 meals a day, all fresh, no fridges, no stoves, no gas... nothing. Under the shade, open fire, dirt all around. A 25kg girl (rather a child) had cooked 2000 meals for 5 people over that time... Most of us have seen entire families around street vending carts. Little girls helping their mothers cook, serve food, wash utensils... When I was of that age, my mother would kick me out of the kitchen to prevent me from diping my fingers into her work and licking them...or cut or burn myself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 23, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 >What is the plan for the near future? Today is a holiday in Thailand - Chulalangkorn Day, no school. I'm meeting her for a long discussion over the net later today. Will see what it turns into. As it is now, she's determined to carry on with her school, no going back to "work". Applied for a job with BTS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2002 Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 " Holiday" is "Nice". The rest of us have to "survive", Live "life", look after "family", Ask your GF..... she knows. Grand sunuk...... :D Hope she gets a "holiday" some day too !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 23, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 Sorry, I'm not getting your point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted October 23, 2002 Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 Hello, [color:"red"]when she was age 5-7, it was her duty to cook for the family. [/color] This is not unusual as you think. Coming from a modest family, I was trained to do lots of things. I did not have the responsibilities to cook, but most of the time it was my job since I could remember, to cook rice, those days there was no rice cooker, was not an easy task for a girl of 7. Most of my freinds who came from similar types of families started some responsibilities quite young. One of my girlfriends who is in the Thai military now, has cooked for her family since she was about 8. Lots of children, especially the oldest ones share responsibilities in the household. I am not trying to be harsh but ones have to understand the Thai concept. My niece and nephew are working around the house and my sister in law's shop. My niece and nephew started to learn how to cook, clean, wash clothes, help their mother selling things since they turned around 9. I am grateful to my parents that they did not spoil me rotten (however, I like my husband to spoil me). I know what I said is not the same as the TG was somewhat forced to the family resposibilities. You will see that these type of responsibilities sharing are common. I have lived in the West for over 30 years and I brought up my daughter to learn a few things and it seems to help her going in the world. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 23, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 Jasmine, No dispute here. I was just astonished when she told me what little girls are expected to do. There was more - throughout her primary school she had to wake up just after 3 am and go to the market with her mother. There were selling some veggies. Then, before 8am back home, Thai shower and school. Back home, other duties. Not a real suffering if one does not know about more comfortable life... I was actually paying my respect to her and other children that had and still have to do the same...Not an unhealthy habbit, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 24, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2002 >What is the plan for the near future? It was a long, long chat last night, for over 8 hours. To cut the crap, it all boils down to one reasonably simple statement made by her: "No make me feel you leave me, no have any plobrem with me again". I'm still smarting and digesting it.... she may well be right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted October 25, 2002 Report Share Posted October 25, 2002 Hello, Sounds to me that you two got some difficult communication straight. My freind, similar things happened in a few relationship with Thai women. There are times that I, who has been married for a long time, had to sit down can communicate my heart out with my partner. I feel it is good to bring things into the open and deal with the consequences, whatever may they be. Good luck! Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted October 25, 2002 Report Share Posted October 25, 2002 Hello, [color:"red"] When I was of that age, my mother would kick me out of the kitchen to prevent me from diping my fingers into her work and licking them...or cut or burn myself... [/color] I would kick you out of MY kitchen now, my freind, if you dip your fingers into something you are not supposed to, and I don't care what age you are!!! Cheers! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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