BrideSearch Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Says cardinalblue: My take is that it is a rare bird indeed that has any type of prostitution past. Well, I don't know if it is rare or not but I could post links to certain websites and identify the ones that I know to be prostitutes but THAT would violate the rules of this board. And how would I identify them other than just taking my word for it? Well, in the one case where I had taken the picture I could show the UN-cropped version of the picture that appears on the web site. And for the others I could show several pictures of the particular girl in question. Bs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Nice comprehensive approach to the situation by looking at it from both sides. I find that way too much emphasis is placed on the shortcoming of the women and barely even broaches the topics of the shortcomings of the men. I have met many an unsavory character that I would never entertain socializing with in my home country much less Thailand. I have also found many guys to be just plain jerks and emotional screwups. The one thing that completely baffles me is the unrealistic relationship expectations that guys have when they meet a woman BG or non-BG, spend the equivalent of a month's physical time with them and before you know it they are at the embassy working on marriage visas. They know squat about these women except what they want the women to do for them. Yet these same guys would almost never marry a woman in their home countries with a one month courtship. The minute the marriage or engagement period goes sour it is blamed on the nature of the woman. She was greedy, her familly. . ., she lied to me, she was lazy, she never loved me, she never revealed her entire past to me, Thai women don't understand the concept of true love, blah. . . blah. . .blah. I feel that most guys bring the majority of pain and heartache upon themselves because they don't take the time to know the women they are with beyond the fact that she works in a bar or does not work in a bar. I think the successful BG relationships that I have encountered were with couples who took the time to learn about each other and communicated with their partners, eliminating unrealistic expectations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Says jjsushi: Nice comprehensive approach to the situation by looking at it from both sides. I find that way too much emphasis is placed on the shortcoming of the women and barely even broaches the topics of the shortcomings of the men. I have met many an unsavory character that I would never entertain socializing with in my home country much less Thailand. I have also found many guys to be just plain jerks and emotional screwups. JJ, Exactly the point I made yesterday in this thread........ Go to beerbars and go-go bars in BKK or PTY, all those guys butterflying and boosing they way through life are always ready to blame the girl for the failure in their marriage........ Each and every analysis should be person per person, not generalising the situation. Of course these girls are looking for security, but how many guys are willing to do so and at the same time restrict themselves to 1 girl ? Not many ! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Hi GTG, I have never dealt with a dating agency but I have come across quite a lot of BG who have told me that they have their picture on the internet with one of these organisations. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Well I think you really make so great points ranma500. There are so many variables that come into play. I think the odds of any relationship succeeding are very nebulas. I also agree that it takes two to tango, and many guys just don't want to take responsibility for their behaviour or ecpectations. I do think its possible (not likely) for two people to have a strong attraction right from the start, and even have a long term relationship because of it I am hoping in the next year or so to get married. I know that I have many shortcomings, (not physco though) and that the odds are not in my favor. But with that said I have expectation that are in line with my odds. I am pretty much willing to accept that 2 years would be considered a success. If it went longer I would be thrilled. Now I am not a fatalist, but in this day and age, (east or west) and with the factors that are involved I am just trying to be realistic. With that said I think it will still be a very positive experience for both parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 Says jasmine: I am not trying to say no BG for a long term relationship, but many obstacles need to be worked out and it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Jasmine I usually keep my mouth shut on these threads, but lately I have been just dying to say somethinng..luckily for me Jasmine said it. Guys I dont care whether a your future wife is BG or not, you have to keep in mind that its a cross cultural marraige! So you have the extra problems of that over and above normal man/woman problems. Obviously, if you are goinbg to marry a BG, you want to avoid one that is on yaa baa, or is suicidal, or an alcoholic, or just plain "bad"..how do you know...well you better spend more than a few hours in a bar with here before you fall in love.. Also keep in mind that if you have a hard core BG, chances are she has been lied to and bullsdhit by men as often has she has lied and bullshit men herself..perhaps her keeping a few others on the side is nothing more than keeping her options open for when you, the one with the protestations of true love, burn her like the others have in past.. But lets say ya import her into your country, on a fiancee visa or marraige or whatever. Now, how do you make it work? I dont pretend to have all the answers, but Im married (and very happy) to a Japanese girl and heres some advice. Live in her culture as much as possible. You are taking a (usually) uneducated and relatively unsophisticated (in Western terms) away for her familiar circustances and tossing her into an entirely alien world. Eat her food. Make sure she can have exposure to her culture, acess to her native language books, etc. If you speak Thai, give her doses, if not, LEARN...I speak Japanese like a three year old kid and my wife loves it. I use chopsticks 90% of the time, and even the Western food I eat has an asian flair. Japanese books are all over the house...Sometimes my wife goes to the Asian grocery just to look at the familiar stuff....and btw, all that being said, being japanese, she is far more westernized than the average Thai BG My wife always says.."asian woman is more sensitive person". I think that this ios correct. I think they might take thinsgs a bit more to heart than western women. So, control your mouth. If you get angry, dont shout or rant or rave, try and act like a gentleman. My wife also says "asian women not two steps behind". Even culturally, if women are trained to be subserviant to men, that doesnt mean they like it. Treat them like an equal, or fuck it, do like I do, let her be the boss. Give up your wayward ways. A marraige cant work if you are in the go go bar, or out boozing with the boys. Hell, my wife got here Oct 11, 2001. The last time I was at the Great Alaska Bush Company was Oct 10... So far it works for me, a fat longhaired guy married to a woman almost half my age in a place where the caribou outnumber the people.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 khwaim, At least the dating agencies that i am familiar with, the girl must include a profile about herself. This includes employment history and education. Yes, they could lie but eventually if they meet guys, they would discover whether lies or not. Of all the girls I have met, what they bring to the table seems to match their profile. I have visited where they work, called them at work, seen where they studied, met their friends, family members, etc. It is quite easy to verify whether what they tell you or write about themselves is true or not. A BG would only be able to fool guys who know little of thai culture and spend limited time here which comes to think of it, is probably a good deal of guys who use dating services. With a little cleverness and savy, I am actually surprised BGs don't use dating services more as that is a market that really could be a slam dunk. cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalo_bill Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 WA, since you are willing to sacrifice anyway I would include a Japanese car into all the hardship :: Bbill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 bridesearch, Are you living in thailand or another country? Does your name really reflect your interest in a thai relationship? Do you have alot of experience with these agencies or just dabble on occassion? I have found the agencies a great place if you are looking for women (most in my experience) who are sincerely interested and willing to meet men from a country other than their own. It would be interesting to compare notes and stories especially if using the same agencies...... cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrideSearch Posted November 6, 2002 Report Share Posted November 6, 2002 cardinalblue: I live in the USA. I have visited Thailand about 10 times in the past 4 years for periods ranging from 10 days to 6 weeks. The handle that I have chosen is reflective of a desire to have a bride at some point in my life BUT I am NOT stuck on Thai women or necessarily Asian women. In fact, I find western women quite desirable, contrary to what most men on the various boards think. I don't have any experience in meeting the women from the various dating/introduction agencies. Of the ones that I know of I have seen too many with pictures of girls that I could positively identify as prostitutes so figured that I would not waste my time or money as I can find prostitutes without paying a finders fee. (Thanks to boards such as this one). I have met through my company's office in Bangkapi some Thai girls that don't work as prostitutes. I have to warn you that I am very firmly in the camp that believes that the prostitutes working in the "farang areas" made the choice of easy money rather than other kinds of work for less money. Therefore, I give no credence to all the bemoaning about how these girls can't find gainful employment except as prostitutes, how they soo wish that they didn't have to have sex for money, yadda, yadda, yadda, bla, bla, bla. So, if you want to talk about relationships with girls who aren't prostitutes I would be more than happy to discuss the issue with you. Bs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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