Am I becoming just another ATM?

[Guest]

But I think this one was? Doesn't matter what other subjects are covering....

 

SB.

[jasmine]

[color:"red"]If you want to see it that way... YES. I refuse to take care of a family that in the past sold the daughter, YES I DO. I also refuse to take care of the family who sent the other daughter to work to Pattaya when she was 12 years old, YES I DO. I also refuse to take care of the father of the family who lost the land gambling two months ago, YES I DO. Unfortunately for the one who 'won' the land the land was not on the father's name since he lost it about a year ago, therefore the daughter who was sent to Pattaya when she was 12 years old still owns the land since I paid for that when she lost it the previous time. [/color]

 

In this case, this type of family would not get a satang from me either.

 

Cheers!

[walletss]

Sid ? What about the dowrie? Are you holding out on us? Did you go with the concept still practised in Thai culture of paying or having to pay a dowrie on top of everything else?

[bibblies]

Says sidsanuk:

---

bibblies

 

"Yep, if these money problems are so serious then why's the mother blithely retiring? "

 

Not that simple mate........the Mother is actually quite sick and getting on in age.

 

Sid

---

 

I just wanted to see how quickly Jasmine would rush to defend an old, wizzened, Thai woman. ::

[Guest]

Lot of the discussions on this board about helping the family and dowries are about Thai girls who have been working at a bar for a while, families might not have sold the girls directly as the case I described, but sent the girls to 'work' because others of the village have done it before, do you think that those families do deserve a satang? Really crazy when people starts to use the culural bullshit argument to justify themselves, If for whatever reason they decided at a point to support the family, no problem, they don't have to justify it, it's a taken decision after evaluating (or not) the consequences of it. Maybe if they don't support the family the girlfreind or wife leaves them.

[Guest]

>> I understand that. But this thread was.

 

Not sure! 25 KBaht/month!!!! Do you know how much is that in Thailand for a Thai family... Don't tell me that you met her at BangkokChat or similar.

 

Not trying to be offensive, but man... 25K?!?!?!?

[jingjoh]

I havent read the whole thread so hope this hasnt been brought up earlier..

 

I was told by a couple of Thai families that the obligation of the children diminishes, and depending on the parents earning ability or position can completely vanish once the children are married and/or have families of their own. This has come from a couple of single Thais including a girl who did not want a BF because she was the last child left sending money home to the family, the rest had gotten married and were not sending anything, including a sister who married a German guy in IT here, they were not sending regular money either.

 

This could be wrong or only partly true, so I would like to hear from our Thai posters on this..

[sidsanuk]

Quote...."Sid ? What about the dowrie? Are you holding out on us? Did you go with the concept still practised in Thai culture of paying or having to pay a dowrie on top of everything else?"

 

No not holding out. I will pay a 'dowrie'. Not huge. Had not mentioned that, as my question really was focussed on ongoing allowance. But of course you are right, that it is relevant to the whole 'buying into the culture' thing.

 

Sid

[sidsanuk]

Quote...."Not sure! 25 KBaht/month!!!! Do you know how much is that in Thailand for a Thai family... Don't tell me that you met her at BangkokChat or similar.

 

Yes I do know the value of 25k baht and no I did not meet her on BangkokChat. :-)

 

Sid

 

[walletss]

" think we have all heard many stories, and still others have experienced it first hand. But how many stories about 'good' families have we not heard?"

 

The discussion over foreigners expected to pay money to their wives family highlights a cultural gap between western and asian cultures. I know a few guys with and Thai and Filipina wives who regularly send money over to the families. Sharing money between the family is something they are expected to do. This applies regardless of whether the man and woman are from mixed races or of the same race.

One guy I know treats his wifes parents like royalty and he has a very happy marriage. My exfilipina gfs family does not have much money but through the family network every kid has received a college education. If someone is sick the hat goes round and family members or extended family members will find the money for medical expenses. There are no foreigners married into this family. They are a good family in my book. This is just the norm and we have to accept it.

 

I admire your posts Sid. You seem to have grasped the magnitude of your responsibilties and your balanced assment is an education to us all.. As long as you get the respect and admiration you deserve from the family. I think its is their responsibility too to make the family unit a strong bond.

Just out of curiosity whicch part of Aus are you in?