mongatu Posted September 30, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 the man you describe is the egoistic man.the evolved man is the man who is able to put others before himself, who does not shun responsibility, social and personal. Maybe doing that is what makes your "evolved" man happy. A case of different strokes for different folks, or as a friend of mine used to say, "everybody has different tastebuds." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 or there are also here more important things than money for some people. ----------------------------------- everyone here will applaud to that: to be a farang doesn't take away anything, and actually may add something to the girl, withtout her having to be in it only for greed. As it may have to be with money or not, exotism of the "other", the way you act, your personality being a farang, compared to the thai/chinese guy. I also think you have contributed to help her and her/your family self-sustaining in a village where others are so indebted that some commit suicide. I do mean that accepting a farang as one's other half is far from seeing him as just another BF or hubbie just happens he is not thai as an afterthought. I do not believe that at all. He may turn out a basket case, no good man, but at the onset, a farang brings something in the equation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 One thing that the Thai women I met here mention often is how lonely the life in the West is. ---------------------------------------- That's the 101 course on non-western societies: collective harmony and emotional interdependance is valued more than individual pursuit, or limited 2-people (+ kids) family cell . This basic difference in life outlook makes for so many of the conundrums flabbergasting farangs in Thailand, and i guess, thai women in Farangland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 Why is it our house seems to be a drop in centre for Thais round here??.....Lonely my buttocks :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jxxxl Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 "well, that has nothing to do with culture IMHO, but with individuals. and as you asked about my missus - when we came together she went for the bloke without the money. which, by the way, was me. the other bloke who was interested in her at that time was by far more moneyed than me - one thai-chinese guy who was considering to kill me 'coz she liked me, the fucked up poor farang, and not him, the guy with more money in the bank than i will ever make. so either i am the exception here, or there are also here more important things than money for some people." ....and on this basis you are holding up yourself and your described perfect relationship with your wife as the basis of measuring a "loser" because a guy has a relationship with a younger woman? That's crap. Give your opinion but don't profess you know the secret formula for being happy. One thing you don't have is the 'experience' of many of the older guys on this board. And on the issue of money, your charm, youth and dashing good looks must won out. Again, don't hold out your personal situation as THE example to argue that women of all countries and cultures don't chose finaicial security, "all things being equal". "actually, in about two days we are going upcountry where the missus is gonna farm dirt. it's harvest days then, and i will have a very hard time stopping her from working too much in the fields as usual. believe it or not, she has been born at the side of a rice field, and she does like farm work a lot. the happiest she would be if i could give up my city life and go with her upcountry where she would do the "dirt farming". I'm not talking about going home to farm for week. I'm using this as an example of a life of financial security. Again, your example, if true, would not represent what the majority of what women value. >>>In my view, it's the evolved man who pursues what makes him happy and makes no apologies about it.<<< "i am sorry, but i do disagree there. the man you describe is the egoistic man. the evolved man is the man who is able to put others before himself, who does not shun responsibility, social and personal." And where did I write that this man does not take responsibility or put others before himself? I've put my kids through school, taken care of relatives and had more responsibility than you could ever know. And, there are a lot of things I do to help people that makes me very happy. And, I like sanuk with younger asian women and make no apologies about it. Does that make me a loser in your opinion? For a guy of 35, you sure talk a lot of shit about responsibility and what's right and wrong with relationships. One thing you don't have is the experience of older guys who are long past where you are now. Please don't speak on behalf of us becuase you're not there yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 the evolved man is the man who is able to put others before himself, who does not shun responsibility, social and personal. The problem with this somewhat conventional idea is that "responsibility" is a term defined by others. Don't say that you define your own responsibilities, 'cos then you'll be agreeing with jxxl. not saying you are wrong btw, you did not elaborate any on your statement. I've seen the idea that 'you should put others before yourself' being used to manipulate me, usually covertly. As a father this is something you wrestle with fairly often. How much of your life do you put on hold (or give up forever) for the benefit of the kids? One thing is for certain, if you take a step in your own personal direction, you will hear from more than one corner "you should put your kids (or wife girlfriend parents office grandkids) before yourself." Some guys break free, others never. Its a very strong concept in farang society (and others of course), its a message that is internalized and for many they end up mindlessly living speaking and perpetuating it. The idea permeates many areas of living not just with family. I remember one poster about a year ago (this board i think) said he left his wife and 3 kids completely and moved to los, had got to the point for him where they were an intolerable self centered monkey on his back with no concern for him. I was impressed with the willpower he had to over come the pressure internal and external that he "should" be sacrificing his life for them. jxxl's statement "it's the evolved man who pursues what makes him happy and makes no apologies about it" is an in your face type of statement that grates on me the wrong way, but i can't say he is wrong (if he really lives by what he is saying). I would say it like this: the evolved man has no care (i mean really does not care) about how he is viewed by others and chooses his own way. this leaves room for assholes to be assholes tho that is no reason why we non-assholes can't choose our own way free from externally imposed ideas of mandatory sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 Jasmine, Thai women abroad feel what is is like for falangs and proably the biggest reason why they find themsilves attracted to LOS. In america and probably the rest of the west, so much empahsis is put on individualism in everything we do. By the very nature of our culture, we are taught to be individual, self-sufficient, competitive, personal development, strive for individual achievement and accomplishments on our own merit. We are taught to be alone..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 And on the issue of money, your charm, youth and dashing good looks must won out [over the rich chinese/thai guy]. Again, don't hold out your personal situation as THE example to argue that women of all countries and cultures don't chose finaicial security, "all things being equal". You guys get so caught up on the age differences that you overlook this fact. Any farang AT ANY AGE (with some exceptions) has a boatload of money compared to a typical tg. So any time a tg commences a relationship with a farang , their is a monumental disparity in wealth that is more prominent in her mind then any age difference. Why? Because of her life long poverty that most farangs who have the luxury of world travel will never comprehend. So any young farang who has a typically poor tgfriend that says young tgs only go with old farangs for the money might be overlooking their own situation. Age is not the issue. If you take a more positive look at Fly's story, you will see it as an example of a young tg choosing a bahtless farang over a rich guy. This shows that its not ONLY about the money. Despite tgs poverty and the claim that they are out for your baht, the fact is they choose based on more then just your wealth tho the money factor cannot be too far from her mind (ever). Just accept that your money is an integral part of the mix but not the only reason she is with you, and in some cases such as fly's, money was least important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 >>>For a guy of 35, you sure talk a lot of shit about responsibility and what's right and wrong with relationships. One thing you don't have is the experience of older guys who are long past where you are now. Please don't speak on behalf of us becuase you're not there yet.<<< well, for one thing, i don't have the experience a lot of "older" guys have - i don't carry around a baggage of failed relationships. i neither do i carry around a baggage of missed opportunities. some old people i do respect - the ones who can answer on cilvil post with the same civility. your aggressiveness here is completely misplaced in this discussion, won't lead anywhere else than me not respecting you. >>>....and on this basis you are holding up yourself and your described perfect relationship with your wife as the basis of measuring a "loser" because a guy has a relationship with a younger woman?<<< never said that. i have a normal relationship with its ups and downs. i don't remember having even used once the word "looser" in this context as well during this thread. so, if you feel a loser or not is entirely up to you. >>>I'm not talking about going home to farm for week. I'm using this as an example of a life of financial security.<<< and i am talking about the same thing. >>>And, I like sanuk with younger asian women and make no apologies about it. Does that make me a loser in your opinion?<<< no, that (and other things) makes you something else. but i don't want to go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2003 Report Share Posted October 1, 2003 That is known in English as a "joke," as in Fuck You If You Can't Take One. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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