Pom_Jao_Choo Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 For background this if my 4th stay in the Kingdom. Previously they averaged 8 weeks. This time I have have been here for 15 months. In the early visits I dealt with getting acustomed to the unusualy large number (to my experiences) of openly bi/gay/curious-sexually active males. I dealt with BG's who insisted that I must get along with her friend who is a transvestite. And would not put up with it today. I am very fond of Thailand in many respects. And this year of teaching(?) will be followed by more as soon as I can reconstitute my funds. OK::: Get on with it already! The other night I spent the evening at home. I was about to call it a night, but needed some cige's for the morning. Headed downstairs for the mini-mart. Had the pleasure of interacting with some neighbors on the way back. Their son is aquiring english admirably though he's only been speaking Thai for months. (yes it's a long post!) The elevator(lift) arrives, and one more resident joins us. They greet each other as we step in. The couple with young child step to the back left corner and I barely fit in, as the male their conversing with has hardly moved from the door. The Thai's continue to converse. After a few moments of discomfort (not really uncomfortable) I decide to step around and beween into the back corner of the lift where it's more roomie. You know how it is, you like personal space, often Thai's prefer a bit more in the company of ferang. No sooner than I had wedged myself into the furtherst corner of the lift to be un-present, than the male (who does not to any prejudicial judgements apear/seem gay) slides straight up beside me, while continuing the dialogue with the Thai's. Makes some reference about the ferang, reaches around and gives my pecker a pinch. Make what judgements you will. And some of us on this board only will percieve this as a thrill. I am however typically hetero in that this type of uninvited aproach is only percieved as an attack on my person. Without thought or consideration of course I reacted physicaly. I pushed him away with the near arm, and as fast as my brain realized what had ocured I smacked the **** in the head (kwan) with the other. Now that's my upbringing. In retrospect of course you can think no real harm done. That Thai's do not have the same values of personal space or same divisions between gay/hetero orientation. He gets off a few floors before us, he backs out and after having endured almost a minute of my spouting on in broken Thai about my not being gay and you don't pull that shit on a ferang. He spouts some threat of wanting retribution for my acitons. I tell him, no ... you fucked up. The doors close. I appologize profusely to my neighbors as we get out and they nod a lot. Questions: 1. My reacion to the incident was unwaranted? 2. Is it likely, that retribution will be in the works? 3. Does the "average" hetero male Thai, accept this sort of gesture as normal and not feel slighted ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 1. My reacion to the incident was unwaranted? IMO you overeacted but you live and learn. If I was in a bad mood I probably would have gripped his wrist or hand in a painful lock and told him not to do that again. Other than that considering it was not an attack a simple hand smack and a stern warning with a smile would have sufficed. 2. Is it likely, that retribution will be in the works? Who knows especially in Thailand. The problem as I see it if revenge does come the guy knows where you live. Once a guy knows where you live more than likely revenge can be planned alot easier. You might want toconsider moving just to be safe. 3. Does the "average" hetero male Thai, acceptthis sort of gesture as normal and not feel slighted ? I don't see normal Thai men grabbing each others peckers and the only time it happend to me was by some Thai tout in Patpong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 <Makes some reference about the ferang, reaches around and gives my pecker a pinch.> The Thai guy is a stupid badmannered prick but I think you overreacted. Even if nothing happens this is the sort of incident that can seriously affect your life. You should probably think of moving out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 the scary part ( dangerous) of getting into an altercation with a thai ( especially gay one) would be if you and or they were cut and got any blood onto your system from them. just takes a minute amount of hiv or hepb to ruin your life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 I'm no expert and others please correct me if I'm wrong... I reckon what you experienced was a hetero thing, akin to a bloke punching you really hard on the arm as a sort of "are you up to it?" bonding thing. I once had a taxi driver lean over and fondle the hair on my shorts clad legs, once I'd recovered from the initial shock I realized, and he explained that he'd been fascinated by said hairy legs and was of the opinion that I was a lucky chap with legs like that and that they were a babe magnet. And so they proved to be. As far as the retribution side goes - I don't know, but there seems to be a loss of face for him as well as you. My 2 bahts worth. Cheers Coss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 I would've done the same and then after would be worried sick about revenge attacks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 <I once had a taxi driver lean over and fondle the hair on my shorts clad legs, once I'd recovered from the initial shock I realized, and he explained that he'd been fascinated by said hairy legs and was of the opinion that I was a lucky chap with legs like that and that they were a babe magnet.> I've experienced the same thing. Guy (hetero) will touch you and say, hmm...nice skin. Pretty harmless. But I think the guy in the elevator was probably just not familiar with falang reactions. A learning experience for both parties. Not nice knowing you could run into each other at any time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 Um, he pinched your pecker? I'm sorry I don't understand how any one could consider this 'overreacting'. I won't even let a bg do this as I walk around nana. Reaction is reaction and judgement or second guessing of said reaction is nonsense. [NOTE: I am not condemning anyone's opinion as 'judgement' as the opinion was solicited, I am telling you, the original poster, to withdraw solicitation] Now what should you do? Definately change your routine, perhaps there will be some type of retribution, carry some sort of weapon, and be ready to kick some fucking ass. This has nothing to do with culture, and everything to do with a severe lack of personal space. I wouldn't let any male pinch my cock or fondle my legs under any circumstances. I don't feel you over-reacted I feel you under-reacted. Had you really taken care of business he would be worrying about you and not vice versa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 <Um, he pinched your pecker? I'm sorry I don't understand how any one could consider this 'overreacting'.> Well his reaction (or overreaction) was normal and natural for sure. Nobody should tolerate getting there dick touched in public. But now he has a problem. That's all I'm saying. And make no mistake, he is the one with the problem....not the Thai guy who touched him. What next? Big fight in the parking lot with the Thai guy and all his buddies? What kind of weapon would you recommend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooNoi Posted March 27, 2004 Report Share Posted March 27, 2004 Now what should you do? Definately change your routine, perhaps there will be some type of retribution, carry some sort of weapon, and be ready to kick some fucking ass Carry some sort of weapon and be ready to kick some fucking ass?? If you use the weapon and the Thai guy gets badly hurt (or worse), isn't this just going to make things worse??? 25+ years in Bang Kwan prison for killing a guy who grabbed me on the dick just doesn't make sense to me! Violence is very rarely the right answer to any solution IMHO. It just leads to more trouble. Always better to just swallow your pride, walk away and let things be. Pom JC, I think you over-reacted. Yes, it embarrassing, wrong, an invasion of personal space etc. etc., but if you'd had done what I'd written above, a stern "mai ow, farang mai chawb" or something similar, and you wouldn't be in this mess now. I'd definitely lay low for a while! Hope everything ends up ok. Fly P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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