How Far they Fall

[Nervous_Dog]

How far they fall,

 

I have a old friend of mine, dating back to about early 97.

 

No, not a old friend, a old lover, someone who I almost made the mistake of ruining my life for, as many newbies do.

 

I fell for her, completely; I called from home, to her home, to see if she really had given up the Thermae for me,

 

She and her friends in 97/98 where the stars of Thermae, she was beautiful, so beautiful, friends living her asked me if they could use her as a model, and they did, her face graced expensive products, but she returned every night to her hunting ground.

 

She was always honest with me, and kind, she?d make sure I wasn?t ripped off, and her friends always had a kind word for me, they took turns buying me drinks even, often she would ask me to stay with her and not in a hotel, a waste of money in her eyes, and no, not to go to her pocket, she knew I was not well heeled.

 

I would return to home, and call her nightly, my heart knowing she was still working, I didn?t want her to work, I wanted to save her, to protect her, to give her everything she wanted, a home, money and a baby.

 

She was patient, she tried to explain to me that this was work, that the few hundred dollars a month, while yes the same a laborer gets, was never going to be enough.

 

She protected me, from others and herself.

 

She threw me away.

 

And I thank her still for that. She was wiser and more honest with my feelings than I even knew how to be.

 

She married a well to do Farang, very well to do, and they had a child.

 

Funnily, the last time we fucked (and never with a condom) she said she?d never see me again.

 

9 months later their child was born.

 

Was it mine, her friends would tell me yes, but one day she came to me and said, ?It not yours, I know you want it to be, but we go to Bumungrad, and do test, it his, not your?

 

Smart man, very smart man, he knew what he was marrying,

 

Then she left him, to go back to the streets.

 

She had everything in the world, a girl could want, money, a man who loved her, a great house, a baby she had always wanted, but she missed the Thermae, she missed the old life, the excitement, the glamour.

 

These are her words not mine,

 

So she went back,

 

There is a stretch here we call the wall of shame, out side Robinson?s it?s a strech of wall with the saddest creatures wait in prey for a desperate fuck, for a few hundred baht, I saw here there a week ago, then last night, sitting in Soi 7 with some friends, I heard one of them go, ?Oh my god look at that?

 

Walking toward us, staggering, eyes glazed, face puffed up, filthy marks on its body, filthy clothes on its back, walked my love.

 

Its interesting, my heart still twanged, and I remember her as a young beauty, but you can?t save what doesn?t want to be saved, many have tried. You can?t leave either sometimes. And she and I where so close, closer than just about any other love in my life, in her I would loose myself, drowned with drink and lust, she taught me to drink whiskey, I would fuck her for hours, and I still think, one day I?ll be there with her,

 

JB

[rovineye]

Not so long ago really eh? Downhill goes fast.

 

WHy do they do it? WHy do WE do it? I don't know.

 

After my long time GF fucked up our relationship last year, she finally called, drunk.

I asked her why? Why did she screw it up. Throw it all away. She said she didn't know. But that that for all her life she had, and would continue, to do things to screw up what was good and right with her life. Maybe they just love the drama more?

[Guest]

:bow:

 

Honestly told and from within your being.

 

Perhaps the Buddha was correct when he surmised........ 'life is suffering'. But I often wonder who does the real suffering in these cases. Obviously in this case both of you.

 

Thank you for sharing.

[khwaimaisabai]

Jimmie Blonde said:

....and I still think, one day I?ll be there with her,

Hi jb,

Somehow, I think so too.

Khwai

[pattaya127]

There is one movie that depicts some of the behaviour you talk about (not all, by all means). Casino with S. Stone and R De Niro.

I remember when i saw it, i thought so much about the TG I was falling for back then. Smart girl, sexy woman (great ass!) vernacular english, straightforward no bullshit, great cook, nightlifer extraordinaire, etc....

 

I am not sure what happened to her, I hear she paid herself princely out of the bank account of the guy she lived with in HK and came back to LOS, who knows, but she showed all the tendancies then to always hark back to the LIFE.

 

And in casino, you have that type of girl, smart, beautiful, even in love with a guy, but her demons always bring her back to the first loser she meant (j Woods) and eventually empties De N.'s bank account and a year later, she is dead in a filthy toilet with a needle in her arm, fixed by bikers who had finished having fun with her.

 

Now, when i think about Nok, I think about the movie, and vice versa. I hope she is OK. She was something else!

[MrX]

JB ....opaque fate apart........... the roots of self-destruction go right back to beginnings of our lives, maybe womb-time even.....so I charge you; take good good care of your daughter (I am sure you do already!)....great story ..wish it was only just that....

[Singhaman]

An excellent post, Jimmie! It is amazing how many of them are actually the same. I used to hang out with a similiar girl a couple of years ago and she went to Switzerland for a couple of years with an older but very nice gentlemen from Basle. Same thing here. She came back at the end of last year with the reason it was to boring and she misses the scene. Now she is in her early 30ties and has a really hard time to find customers, especially these days. Sometimes she would ask for a 100THB to get something to eat. She had it all back in Switzerland and in a couple more years, they would have both retired here in Thailand. She missed to drink beer with her friends, hang out with them in the afternoon at Soi 7, playing pool and then may be going to the Nana Disco or Hard Rock Cafe. What she didnt thought of, is simply the fact that her so called friends have left with other mens too, so she is basically on her own except for a couple of drinking buddies.

Well, she is not the only one I know but I am sure you can remember the old discussions we had couple of years ago were always this one saying came up:

" You can get a girl out of the bar but not the bar out of the girl".

This applies to a lot of them......Unfortunately! Cheers,

[ThaiHome]

rompandadam said:

the roots of self-destruction go right back to beginnings of our lives,

 

So true.

 

And I don't think we can ever understand growing up really poor in rural Thailand 20 or more years ago. I have tried, but it is just too different for me to ever really grasp it.

I think the closest thing in the west is the sports figures from the deep urban ghettos, and they don't generally do well in the long run.

TH

[Pescator]

Hi Singhaman,

 

" You can get a girl out of the bar but not the bar out of the girl".

 

Replace the word "girl" with "punter" and it is equally true. ::

 

Cheers

Hua Nguu

[Mentors]

A drama but not rare. The saying: You can put a girl out of a bar but you can't take a bar out of the girl seems to be true one more time.