Another Sinsot thread

[Guest]

i'd agree with Khun sanuk here that anything is possible concerning the sinsot.

 

Based on the status of the bride of the same level as your girlfriend:

- the guy doesn't have to pay, if they both decide that it's a silly thing, and they decide to build their lives together by themselves. This means they are quite independent.

- they both help each other to come up with the requested amount.

- the guy pays around 400,000 up plus some more gold.

 

From what I read about your girlfriend, I expect when you talk to the parents, they would say 'whatever you think is appropriate', that's even more headache. How much is appropriate, one would wonder. That's how those who have no concern for money say. (and I didn't mean that those who really say the amount are so greedy)

 

Most of the time, you will get your money back, either in cash, gold, jewelry for your wife, a piece of land, or a lifetime babysitter.

 

For thai families, after the sinsot , sometimes you have to agree who are going to pay for what, the engagement party, the wedding party, ... In a more chinese tradition, the bride's family pay for the engagement party, the groom's the wedding party. or both of you pay for the party.

 

Then there's the issue about who would get all the money and gifts from the wedding party, the one who pays? or all to the couple?

 

anything is possible and not absolute.

[tomc12]

Let your fiance handle the negotiations about the sinsod as she is the best one to juggle the scales between your financial position and an acceptable sinsod for her parents. As your wife, she understands that there will be "one wallet between two people"; thus, too high of a sinsod will affect your future life together. Do not let her pay her own sinsod as she may do it because she loves you, but there will always be a "spot" in her heart about it.

[jasmine]

[color:"red"] My g/f has been to 4 Thai/Thai weddings in the last year. 3 had 1/2 million as sinsot+ gold, and one was 1 million. The 1 million was a relative of Taksin, so was to be expected.

 

[/color]

 

HT, my friend, a million Baht is nothing nowadays for a Sin Sot for women with College education. Really, one cannot buy more than 2 pick-up trucks for that amount!!!

 

Since you posted this thread, I asked around, a friend just told me that a daughter of one of our friends just got married this year to a Thai doctor, her Sin Sot was 300 Million Baht and the parents matched the same amount, all money was for the bride to keep. The most interesting was that the groom was from an Isaan village, a heart surgeon, wonderful really!! And in the Isaan custom, the money had to be displayed at the wedding, I told my friend to send me the picture

 

HT, there does not need to be a Sin Sot, the custom is more for "face" or financial needs for some parents.

 

My mother said that if she asked for Sin Sot for me, it would have been over a million and that was over 30 years ago, in a context what a daughter is worth, it can be out of the world!!

 

By the way, I know I was worth more than a million Baht and I am sure your GF is worth at least that!! You don't want to use me as a negotiator, I side with women.

 

Jasmine

[think_too_mut]

>a friend just told me that a daughter of one of our friends just got married this year to a Thai doctor, her Sin Sot was 300 Million Baht

 

Jasmine, this 300 million baht figure, can you confirm it in one short post?

 

TTM - mod

[shygye]

Will your TG work in the USA WITHOUT a green card?

 

How much of the sin sot will you get back? Maybe buy your TG a car in farangland and show photos of the car at the wedding. They will think it costs 3 times as much due to the taxes in Thailand.

 

How much money will you get at the wedding? The guests give money as wedding gifts. The family friends are probably well to do so will give big money to gain face.

 

I am sure your TG uni has friends that married. How much was their sin sot?

 

Chok Dee

[pattaya127]

I put my own sin sot at 300 Billions bahts......Just like to be left alone! ::

[gomez]

her Sin Sot was 300 Million Baht and the parents matched the same amount

Gosh, numbers beyond my comprehension, did a quick conversion on the internet, US$7.2 million, doubled by the parents to $14.4 million at today's rates.

 

Until now, I thought Sin Sot was quaint custom that expressed a value for women, better than the other way around, but really just for show.

 

But that figure is astounding. I really don't understand it. It's almost like saying to the bride "Here, this is your alimony in advance. We know you don't want to marry this guy, but you will always be taken care of."

 

Is that close?

[shygye]

A Thai doctor , I doubt, would have 300 mil baht to throw around. His family would have to be super rich, above 4 billion baht in assets. Even Mr. T's maid would not be able to afford that. ::

 

Your friend probably added a zero. More likely 30 mil baht.

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

Kinda sad how a tradition like this has been turned into one-up-manship. Anything for a chance to brag / show off to the neighbours

 

Sanuk!

[Guest]

Hi Jaz,

 

>>>>By the way, I know I was worth more than a million Baht and I am sure your GF is worth at least that!! You don't want to use me as a negotiator, I side with women.<<<

 

OK..... in the words of Donald Trump......"You're fired!"

 

Thanks for your insight though, Jasmine. I do appreciate you taking the trouble to ask around for me. You're the best But I gotta question that 300,000,000 baht quote. :: Did you typo a few zero's in there? If not, I'm running for the hills. ::

 

I'm not questioning the need for there to be baht shown on the table, in my situation. It is the custom in my girl's family circle of friends/family, and is just something that needs to be done, for them to be happy with the situation. And I also understand a ball-park figure of 500k-1 million to have them be able to show face. Family is originally from Ang Thong, and I've seen how the family is respected there. They don't walk around hi-so in the least. Parents married, worked their asses of, putting themselves through school/college, and ended up getting good jobs. Walk through a market there with them, and they will know every single person, but not put on any airs at all. But it is very clear that they were able to climb out of a relatively poor background, and do very good for themselves, which their childhood friends, could all see. But they would still be ranked as only middle-class, at best, in most other countries.

 

I did get a good insight, in going there, as to the general overall jist of it. It's not that they will be elevated in any way by a large amount on the table. It's simply expected. They have nowhere to go, but downhill. The expected substantial amount will only maintain what they now have. They really have nothing to gain, but they do have a huge amount to lose, if the expectation is not met. And I don't mean from them....I mean from the community, from which they were born. That is where I see the expectations coming from, at least in this small microcosim of Thai real estate.

 

There is a pressure put upon them, that they cannot escape. It's called the Thai culture. It really doesn't matter whether I'm farang, or Thai. The pressure is there on them, all the same.

 

I really like my gf's family. They are good people, who are not looking to get rich out of me. But they are caught in this quandry, of having to sell their daughter for a respectable amount, and the more, the better, as their culture dictates they should do.

 

So in the end, I know I have to show at least 500k baht on the table, for my tirak and her family, to have face. Do I agree? No....I think it (the whole thing) is a total crock of shit. But to not do, would be a litteral 'slap in the face', to her entire family. The question comes down to if the family will expect to keep, or return the amount after wedding.

 

Most answers to my question here, is that it will be returned to you in some form, or another. Such as new house, gold, or jewelry. In other words, it is taken initially, but then returned, in some future form, or another. So I guess this is what I'm really looking for. The answer to the question of sin sot being returned, or not? Obviously, this should be determined beforehand. It's always been clear that I should make this detirmination before hand.

 

So....any stories of reniging on deals, sealed with only a hand shake? I did hear, that if you pay sin sot, and subsequently don't get married, that Thai law states that all must be returned.

 

HT