Old Hippie Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 "...If a girl has no education, lives in the middle of nowhere and has a dream of getting something better, being something better and not want to spend the rest of her life in a paddyfield or walking a load of buffalo around, what chances are there other than working in a bar ? That at least gives here the chance to earn some money and get out of her predicament with the added bonus of the possibility of meeting a falang and marrying..." I have heard this crap before here in the USA to justify youth crime, gangs drug sales etc... "...if a kid in the ghetto with no hope wants to have some money and a chance of having something, they have no choice but to sell dope, rob etc...victums of society..." Bullshit to that as well. The fact is, most poor women in Thailand DON'T go to work in the nightlife industry, they find other ways. Most don't get the farang husband, or all the wealth, but as I said in another post, most girls who work nightlife end up staying broke anyway, and have little or nothing to show for it all in the end. And if poverty, lack of choices/options is the reason for working bar, then explain all the "GTGs" or educated girls with decent jobs, who "moonlight?" Not sure what farang/bargirl relationship stats are, but my guess is they would be worse than non bargirl related marrages...simply put, both people going into it probably have issues to begin with... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 "So back to your original premise. AFAICS, for a country girl with no education or prospects it is the only way." Wait...is the premise a) she wants more money thus giving her a better life or meet a Falang and get married! If it is a) then she became a whore. If it is why did she go work in a Bar and not one of the many Falang related business? This way meets Falangs and builds relationships not crossing the line of becomming a whore! SkiBum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Hi, >>>>>>>...I've lived, seen and expierenced it with to many BG over the years to never accept the statement, "They don't like the party" this is a drug to us and to them...they get addicted too. Why is it that after a BG breaks up with her BF/husband...guess where she goes back too.<<<<<<<<< I've always been a big believer in this concept. They get very much addicted. And why is so hard for them to walk away from. And when they try to break away, is an immediate place of gravitational pull, right back to the same. I've always said this all along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 "...The girls in the bussiness are there for the money, and little else. And I mean for themselves..." That is exactly my point I made earlier when I asked why so many girls don't get out when they have a chance...it is about money, and to an extent freedom, not bound to one guy as they see it. In reality, they belong to who ever bar fines them...not freedom at all. Most of these girls, not all, but most are plain lazy, and make very stupid choices about their lives, mostly driven by greed. Yes, we all want more and better in our lives, I work extra hours to make a salary smaller than I did thanks to pay cuts! I lost my pension, but I keep working, saving and investing what I can. I don't say "...the only way to get ahead is to sell my ass (no one wants it anyway...maybe one guy at the gym, different story ) or sell dope, or rob etc...I realize there is a limit, and I keep working to go passed that, realizing it might not happen. Many of these girls are just plain unrealistic in thier "goals" if they even have a goal, many of them, Thais in general are very short sighted... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 How many TG, you know, have a long term savings plan? I encourage my GF to do this! I give her gifts when she reaches certain levels...the Falang incentive program! Works really well... she has saved almost 120,000 baht! Good for a girl making 26,000 plus a month... SkiBum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomc12 Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 After wading my way through all these posts, I have to say yours are the most appropriate and heartwarming. Why "sponsor" a BG? I think you must first define your terms. A sponsor is just a friend, not a boyfriend; he understands the difference between wanting more and needing more; he can love and care about someone without demanding possession in return; he is free to sleep with other girls as she is free to sleep with other men. If you demand or expect her to leave her profession and only be with you, then you are not a sponsor but a boyfriend/fiance/husband. My "sponsoree" was 8 years old when her father left to go live with his mia noi. He didn't leave her mother with any money or ever send her any money for child support or alimony. Her mother sold the family land and took her family to live in Bangkok-partly to not be in the same town as the father and partly to find work. She got a job cutting up and selling fruit on the street-made about 100 bahts/day. Oldest sister lived with mother-husband gone same as father; two young kids; worked manufacturing job and made 130 bahts/day. Second sister also lived at home with husband and two kids; husband laid up after motorcycle accident; she made 200 bahts/day. Brother drug addict-brought in no income;sometimes stayed at home and stole frequently any jewelry, radios, etc. he could take. Last was my "sponsoree" who at 8 helped her mother cut up fruit. They lived in a shack, dirt poor, and frequently sick due to the unsanitary conditions under which they lived. Finances were precarious-9 people in a tiny shack living on approximately $325/month. Mother got major illness when 'sponsoree" in high school-disaster as loss of income and big medical expenses. "Sponsoree" left high school and went to work in a bar-didn't want to, but none of the many well-paying jobs alluded to by the other posters presented themselves to her. -to be continued- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 "...Why "sponsor" a BG? I think you must first define your terms. A sponsor is just a friend, not a boyfriend; he understands the difference between wanting more and needing more; he can love and care about someone without demanding possession in return; he is free to sleep with other girls as she is free to sleep with other men. If you demand or expect her to leave her profession and only be with you, then you are not a sponsor but a boyfriend/fiance/husband..." I think most guys who send girls money do so because they honestly think it makes the girl theirs, and theirs only. Most guys who send money have a different view of things than the average girl who accepts the money...he thinks "I will give, so she will be mine..." she thinks "...he is giving, so I'll take..." Of course there are exceptions... O.k. I just recalled my episode with "Tonsil girl." Nice girl, knew her for a few years, had a food stall on Soi 10. O.k. So she worked her way out of bars. Did well until that faitful day and Soi 10 was no more, took the money she got from the mess, spent it all on her moms house (supposedly) and had a Dutch guy paying her way he thought they'd get married, (was trying to get her a visa etc) ......while seeing me, and other guys as well. o.k. So I went to visit BKK, called her, she says she is Nong Kai, will see me later that day, she is on the bus headed to BKK...10 minutes later I saw her with Dutchie at Soi 7 food court...not wanting to ruin it all for her, I waited, and confronted her a night later...she denies it etc...so finally, a year or so later, we get together, talk about it, have great sex, and her explanation was... "you don't take care of me, he does..." to wit I asked "...if he take care of you, why do you with other men?" her reply was "want more money, like you also..." This Dutch guy, and a Swede, and a Brit all thought they were exclusive with her, all trying to marry her etc, give her a better life...all paid her to go to salon school, she did, also massage school...had about 40-60,000bhat a month rolling in, from 3 guys (call them what you like) and other customers...could have gone any place...hated working in salons, got a sales job at Emporium, quit "to boring" now has pissed off all the sponsors, and works in a bar, because it "pays so well, and easy work, get to go holiday often..." I know tons of stories like that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomc12 Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Working in a bar requires some changes due to the onus placed on it by society. Frequently the girls have to make new friends-who else can they let their hair down to but other friends in the business? So it may appear that they like the lifestyle but in reality it is where their current friends are. Drug/alcohol use, conspicuous consumption, etc. are all sops to get them through the day. Some internalize that they are just LBFM and are lost; others can keep it on the surface and have hope. Hope that they can find a loving husband and leave the profession. One poster alluded to "thorns" around a Thai woman's heart-maybe from the role model played by their father or past/current boyfriend. When I met my "sponsoree", she had already saved up 600,000 bahts from working the bar. Leave and finish her education? Leave and find another job? Easy to suggest when you haven't lived a dirt-poor life, haven't been scared of when your next meal will be, or let's make it simpler-how about the stigma of walking to high school every day in "flappers" (shoes that are so worn the toes flap open when you walk)? Engenders a deep fear of poverty and of life. Take a chance on a different life through more education or a different job-who is going to pick her up if she falls flat on her face? Her family? Her sponsor? Her falang boyfriend? My "sponsoree" was doing the best she could do for herself and her family. I sent her money so she could save more, not for exclusivity; because she was a nice person and I cared about her; because I don't look at the money I have and think about how much pussy it will buy. Is that being foolish? So what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 Tomc12... O.k. so MAYBE this is as you see it and say it. Hope so. And if you are happy doing so, then fine for both of you. But the reality of it, I maintain is guys just throwing their money away on a girl who just sees the guy as another guy blowing his money on her...doubt she really cares, until cut off, and no matter, she has others, or thinks she can get others...until she pisses that last sponsor away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 28, 2005 Report Share Posted March 28, 2005 SkiBum said: Soidoggy said:What it all comes down to is, if she makes you happy thats all you need. Going by the language and heartlessness shown by some here one would think we arent dealing with women. But to compare prostitution in Thailand to the EU or the US is folly. Yes, basically its the same thing, but the main question is why its done. In the US and EU its probably simply out of laziness or drugs, in The Far East its more out of a need to get away from the poverty of the countryside or other financial reasons. But the big question. Do BG's make good wives ? Well Ive been married to one for nigh on 20 years and we are still happy. And I dont really care what some boring prat, whos probably been stung by some TG (which actually shows how thick they are) from Redneck USA says or thinks, The idea that a BG must chose selling her body as the only way to survive is non-sense...this down grades peoples ability to move upward on their own worth and is mud in the face of every hard working Thai! So the only way out is to become a whore... It's the lazy way! Prostitution is the oldest trade...there is a reason why! The other stuff on all things are relative is also...well, too simplistic... "She makes you happy, Thats all I need"...most need more, at least I do! Being burnt by girls and people is a fact of life...we all get hit some time in our lives...It's how we get up that counts! Tell us why your wife makes a great patner as a result of her past? I'm interested! I bet it is all that other stuff inside her that makes her great, not the fact she was a whore! SkiBum P.S. Everyone Happy now...don't want to flame a good thread...either! Expalin your rationale of why a non-P4P chick would make a better mate/ I have yet to hear one good explanation aside from what is basically a rationale that soothes the male ego? Prostitution is the easy way out? Go sell your ass every night to make a living and tell me how easy it is. Speaking from experience with both P4P and Non-P4P girls the pussy is the same and I have yet to determine which is a better mate beyond my personal prejudices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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