Guest Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 Bkkbound04 said:KS, Maybe I'm being naive but I never understood why TGs would divulge such details to what are total strangers, when my ex was around she was constantly telling me what TGs were up to in my part of the world If there is one thing on this earth that makes a Thai BG proud it is to recount a story to another Thai of how they have "got one over" a farang. Thai people aren't all like this, it is a form of behaviour that is learned in the bars. If one girl is taking Joe Bloggs to the cleaners then another girl will want to prove she is more clever by doing even better, and so on. Many girls arrive, can't hack it, and quit within days, regardless of how poor they are. Over a 20 month period I saw a very pleasant and natural Thai girl turned into a money grasping machine, then watched in disbelief as she introduced her best friend to the same environment so she had someone to show off to. Dying mothers and sick buffalo are the cheap end of the market. Encouraging gullible men to send them sponsorship money while they continue working is the next step. Lifting wallets from tourists who are returning home the next day is another game. Nobody is going to miss their flight home to try and recover that lost Bht 20,000. Meanwhile many of the farangs who live here think they are sharing drinks with the Easter bunny. The girls aren't stupid, they don't try this stuff with us. "Don't crap on your own doorstep" applies here as much as anywhere. On the surface they all seem amiable and there are plenty of fools who buy into the illusion. This is not the first time I have heard a story like yours, KS. The worst one I heard was some poor German who, during his ten-year marriage, was regularly sending money to his wife's "Thai family". When the German had finished unwittingly paying for her house in Thailand she simply got on a plane and went to live with her Thai family. What she neglected to tell the German (and this shows how "clever" she was) is that the "family" was her Thai husband. She left the German behind, kids and all. The kids were merely part of the deception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted June 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 Hi, "This is not the first time I have heard a story like yours, KS." Not the first time I heard it either, but (luckily) I have not yet turned as cynical as you (*). While I agree that there are a lot of bad apples out there, my views on & experiences with the girls in the nightlife scene much more reflect those of Suadum. Just like I have heard stories like the one in my original post, so have I heard many stories of girls falling head over heels for a farang who promises to take her away from the bars, marry her, take care of her.... and then disappears. You are right that they learn this behavior in the bars, but it sure isn't just her fellow bargirls who provide the learning experience. Sanuk! ((*) Not meant as a snipe, merely an observation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 khunsanuk said:You are right that they learn this behavior in the bars, but it sure isn't just her fellow bargirls who provide the learning experience. I certainly agree that there are farangs who mistreat the girls. There are times when it seems people forget that these girls are human beings. I'm still in touch with my ex. Her take is that she can and does regularly make $ 100 per night, sometimes more, and she doesn't want to risk if for a relationship with anyone. Fair enough. That hasn't stopped her encouraging some American to start sending her money though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 [color:"red"] They got talking and not really surprising this girl (early 30s) was now spending her holiday with her Thai husband. She admitted openly that she only married the guy in the UK for money and would leave him as soon as she had enough money saved. The fact that they had a little kid together seemed not to matter much to her. [/color] Heard such talk many times. And in my old age I have seen these women reached their gaol also. A woman left her child in Norway and back spending her life with her Thai husband, right in a village 20 KM from my my mother's place, just to name one of a few I have known. Many Thai women (and I am really sorry about this) consider marrying foreign men as a part of "work" or path to get financial stability. I posted about this issue before and got chewed on for being generalizing and negative, not that I didn't deserve the chewing. You have lived in Thailand long enough to know that many Thai men do not consider "being with other women when wives not available" as fooling around, so it is probably a non-issue that this Thai husbands fools around. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 [color:"blue"]If not then I refer to the kid. There's no need to bring kids into such 'relationships' if she planning to leave him anyway as soon as she has enough cash saved. So unnecessary and selfish. [/color] I met a woman who left her 2 boys with the father and claimed that the children are better off with the father. There is a woman who is in her 50s here in USA who left her 3 children for she admitted in the court that she wanted a free, rights to fool around life. The kids were raised by a father who worked offshore and got killed before the oldest child reached 16. They were raised by foster homes and as far as I know they are doing fine now. In this case I feel that the children were better off without their mother. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 [color:"blue"] Sydney I've seen close-up etc etc...these girls are playing out an acting/soapie script and cannot believe their luck when a stoopid farang falls for it...don't be mesmerised by the beauty of these girls, no argument there, but beauty does not mean brains/nouse/nice etc etc. Know some "Westernised Thais" in Sydney and they think it's a great laugh...blokes doing silly things with their money until it's all gone...no money, no honey This is a game and the stupidist person will lose! [/color] For me it is sad to see a person lose in this game for this relationship should contain sincerity. Perhaps I feel this way because I am partial to American/European - ok Austrailian men too :: I feel that no one should get hurt even though these men can be so stupid. :: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 [color:"blue"]If it was me and I had a 50/50 kid in Farangland I would probably not encourage them to learn Thai - probably get "hit" for saying this............... -------------------- [/color] I have a 29 yr. old daughter who was taught Thai as a child. Growing up and being on her own, she has lost most of the language, however, my grand children are taught to say "Sawadee Krup" and "Sawadee Kha" by her and certain Thai history. My daughter is very proud to have Thai blood and my oldest grand child who is 10 and and has hazel eyes and blond hair gets desparate sometimes just to convince someone that he has Thai blood for he is very proud to have it. I am very proud to know 2 worlds and methinks I am doing quite well in both. :: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 [color:"red"] This is not the first time I have heard a story like yours, KS. The worst one I heard was some poor German who, during his ten-year marriage, was regularly sending money to his wife's "Thai family". When the German had finished unwittingly paying for her house in Thailand she simply got on a plane and went to live with her Thai family. What she neglected to tell the German (and this shows how "clever" she was) is that the "family" was her Thai husband. She left the German behind, kids and all. The kids were merely part of the deception. [/color] I hear this type of story at least 1 case a year. Just to think of it, I have heard this type of story of the men from Germany, Norway, Australia more than American men or any other countries though, wonder why! :: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drogon Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 "Germany, Norway, Australia more than American men" Would be interesting to have a sociological study about that.... I think that is pure "luck" you heard stories about people of these countries. Or maybe these countries count more men inclined to fall in such traps? Or maybe you ar more inclined to hear stories from these men other than hearing stories about american citizens? Many possibilities and no answer...... In all cases, the fact that the kid(s) have their lifes ruined infuriates me. :onfire: @jasmine As it seems you are thai-born, could you answer me about this question please? What is the moral/cultural attitude in Thailand about kids? I mean for the majority of people. thanks for your answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted June 24, 2005 Report Share Posted June 24, 2005 Hi Drogon, Good question. Once in a while it seems to me that general attitude is to give birth to them and have someone else to raise them And as I have heard quite a few say: one only needs to raise the first and then he/she will raise the following. :: I know I am out of line with the first statement but nevertheless I am left speechless by the conditions some thai parents arrange for their children to grow up in. If you know you can`t/won`t/afford/whatever to have children, why have them? :: Last time I looked in my calendar it said 2005! There are means to prevent one from having children these days. I should add that my experiences all derive from low income classes. Cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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