Are your turds bigger when in LOS ?

[The_Munchmaster]

It often does!

[Orangutan]

SiLeakHunt said:

The first one I did when I got back to England was like passing a shoe box. Fucking agony.

 

Cheers

 

I ate at one of the 79 baht buffets last night. This morning I shit a dog's head.

 

-OT

[The_Munchmaster]

The_Munchmaster said: Last trip I caught a bug and couldn't pass anything for the last few days in LOS. Even when I got back to Dubai I could only squeeze little bits out at a time. Eventually after about a week I was so uncomfortable that I went to see the doc who put me on some oral medication. A few hours later I passed the lot, and what a great feeling that was.

 

The point of that lttle story is that obviously my turds got so big in LOS that they couldn't even get out!

I actually experienced something similar in Bkk about 5 or 6 years earlier. I was on a visit and staying at Liberty Apartments on Soi 22 and I had taken a lass from Afterschool back with me. Anyway I woke up early in the morning feeling very uncomfortable and needing a dump. So I go to the toilet but nothing will come out. I keep returning to the toilet every hour or so but nothing. There is definitely something there trying to get out but it won?t budge and by the time my friend wakes up I?m extremely uncomfortable and tired and sore from all the straining. I explain the problem and as she?s an old friend she hangs around for a while but eventually I send her home. Anyway I get the receptionist at the apartment to go to the chemist and get me a couple of bougies but they don?t do any good and eventually by late afternoon I?m in so much pain that I have to go to the hospital.

 

So I go to Samitivej on Soi 49 and explain my problem to a doctor who then calls a nurse and gives her a few instructions. The upshot of it all was that this poor girl had to pump some kind of cold fluid up my arse (very uncomfortable) and then once it had time to get to work she had to physically extract my compacted faeces with her finger and some sort of spatula thing, which was excrutiating. After that was all over I naturally flushed the rest and then went for a shower. Unfortunately the shower was in the next room and to get to it I had to go out into the waiting area.

 

Not a problem really except that I was wearing one of those rear fastening gowns, which due to my girth had a huge gap in the back and my feet were wet from some of the fluid running down my legs. So when I walked across the tiled floor of the waiting area, with quite a few patients in residence, I slipped and went skidding across the floor. I must have been quite a sight with my arms and legs flaying about but fortunately I somehow managed to keep my balance and not fall flat on my face, which would not have been a pretty site with my arse sticking through the back of the gown. I was uncomfortable for quite a while after that and was meeting a mate at the Irish Bar in SC that night and couldn?t sit down at the bar for a few hours.

 

What I did discover is that this type of problem is often caused by dehydration, which dries out the faeces and helps them to compact. Of course when I?m in LOS I drink a lot of alcohol and alcohol dehydrates so I guess that my drinking, and this happened near the end of quite a long visit, caused the problem.

[zzzz]

Inactivity -- ex., people who are bedridden -- can also cause compacted feces problems. It was reported that John Wayne had 40 pounds of shit in his Colon when he died.

[gummigut]

That happens to me sometimes when I forget to eat fruit.

 

Cure for me is a good big glass of milk.

 

<<burp>>

[Damen]

zzzz said:

Inactivity -- ex., people who are bedridden -- can also cause compacted feces problems. It was reported that John Wayne had 40 pounds of shit in his Colon when he died.

 

I need to tell my friend to get this checked out. He always brags that his fat belly is actually 10 feet of backed up dick but maybe it's 40 pounds of compacted shit

[Damen]

I must say this is the funniest thread I've read in quite some time.

 

Back to the orginal topic, I find quite the opposite while in LOS. I have a tendency to drink much more alcohol in LOS than I do back home and eat less food.

 

This results in me pissing brown liquid (aka Hershey Squirts) from my ass and wiping the back splash off my neck in addition to my ass cheeks after getting of the toilet.

 

It's usually a couple of days once I've returned home before I can hang a decent monkey's tail.

[buddha]

wait a minute are you calling john wayne a fudgepacker?

[Bangkoktraveler]

Munchmaster

your comments made my day. Too bad somebody didn't have a camera!

 

If you ever get to have a colonic done, you might find that interesting. It generaqlly takes 1/2 to 1 hour in which they stick a hose up your ass which pumps your ass with water and then sucks the shitty water and turds out. The unit I used, had a viewing area which showed thru the clear plastic your turds passing by.

[David_66_UK]

For threads like this I am very grateful for the KS no photos policy. :: :: ::

 

One of the things I do enjoy when back in Farangland is.............is dropping a real solid longgggggggggg log. The sort where the first few inches feels like yer ass hole is going to split, and the next 3 foot emerges with complete relief.