Tempers flare on nanaplaza.com

[Topcatta]

"Therefor I think that a sum of posts over a prolonged period of time might constitute a reasonable picture of the poster."

 

I wonder if that is true ALHOLK. If I look at my self on this board, I get reactions from ppl saying I am a real cool chick but I also get the complete opposite reactions. Someone even talked about "my kind". Truth is in reality I never met a woman who is into sex and is really looking for a good time without hurting others and who is open about her sexuality + plus likes to joke. So it does not mean anything this statement. Of course half of this earth wont like you. Fine. No problem. But ppl form an opinion about letters on paper. I have even been called a nymphomaniac which means I would have sex even in the little tea breaks at work...well that is not me. It depends on the life experience/lifestyle of person on the other side of the board how me and others are being judged. Now meeting some of the guys in real life takes a lot of the scare away. They tell their buddies if you are okay or not. The buddies trust their judgement but for the others who are more loose on the board there is no face, no body language, no laugh when a joke is made. I think the tip in the article to reread what you have written is great and if it is subject to multiple understandings change it. But then again there is the board members who deliberately want to create havoc because they get a high out of it. It usually doesnt help to react from the emotional level.

 

Your saying might be true for the recipients who are genuine and not out to create shit who read your mail with respect and a general feeling of you are okay.

[buddha]

well...a post like...'I must be hard up to read this crap'.....is great.

 

While it could be taken as offensive, it really attacks the topic and not the poster.

 

I can form an opinion about the post, but not the poster. I feel I can be accurate in saying - 'zob65 thinks this topic is crap, and I disagree, yet I am not going to engage zob as to why he is wrong about feeling this way, thats the way he feels.

 

topcatta I agree about 'the high' you mention. I think sometimes I could read a post like 'I must be hard up to read this crap' and read into it a good deal of things that were not intended. Getting offended is almost like accepting a challenge that was never made, hence the miscommunication.

 

I could retort with something that offends the poster not the post and then the tennis game of back and forth insults begin where i begin searching through posts he made and trying to prove that I am right when all I am really doing is taking things out of context to an exponential level.

 

'but do you feel that your opinion is also inaccurate?'

 

It depends on how it has formed. There are some people who through their postings that you kind of feel you 'know'. There are posters who I definitely would seek out and want to have a beer with, but everything could change when you met that person. A good deal of topics are not allowed to be discussed here and they, when manifested in person, could really change the way you view someone.

 

'Therefor I think that a sum of posts over a prolonged period of time might constitute a reasonable picture of the poster.'

 

I tend to agree that there are some posters who are so consistant that you have strong feelings that you would either 'not get along with' or 'really enjoy thier company'. I temper this with the feeling that there are more than a few posters who are not at all what they post. It's a tough call deciding what to think of someone having never met them.

[ALHOLK]

Hi!

I temper this with the feeling that there are more than a few posters who are not at all what they post.

Although I'm fully aware of that the board, or indeed any board, is a small portion of the members's life it still gives a picture of who they are.

 

regards

 

ALHOLK

[thalenoi]

buddha said:

I have posted one or two snarky comments that THAILANOI certainly didn't need to hear when he was having a hard time with his neighbor. Sorry Thailenoi, to be honest I don't know shit about you and it is unfair for me to form an opinion in this way.

 

I wondered if I offended you in reply one of your posts?

Something about a burma refugie I said far away relationships don't work and you asked why I said so, was that you???

 

Anyway, I put you on my ignore list, not understanding why you accused my gf to be the culprit, well there were more stupid remarks from other punters in that tread of mine.

 

Furthermore I don't post anything serious anymore on any website that is. Too many sharks around to rip posters to pieces. It's not worth my time.

[Guest]

I think the subject is complicated and there are no obvious answers (does that give you a good sense of what type of person I am?). I'll limit myself to a few random observations and comments since I have given a bit of thought to this subject, but it is early days and my views are still evolving.

 

First and foremost, I think incentives and consequences are good at explaining behavior. This makes it easy, for example, to posture as a tough guy cynic in cyber space. (I am using this because it is such an obvious example.) If you do this in real life, there can be real and painful consequences. Not so in cyberspace, unless...

 

someone calls you on it. And then, for posters who have seriously and heavily invested their egos into this image (why else would anyone posture in cyberspace as a cyber tough guy cynic unless this image was important them?), you will get a nasty and angry response. I think this reveals a great deal about that poster - something that might not be so easy to detect in a bar room conversation. It also, however, has the unfortunate effect of pushing threads off topic.

 

Second, if someone has posted here for years, you can get a pretty good sense of where they are coming from. I think it is pretty clear where I am coming from. Some of my comments about Thailand obviously bother a few here, and it is often the same members.

 

Why? Probably many things, but time spent in Thailand seems to make a big difference. Not every visitor disagrees with me, and many agree. But ever notice how there really is not much disagreement on these subjects among the posters who have been here for a long time? (I am talking about posters where you can really be confident they have been in Thailand for awhile.) Why is that? Well, perhaps when you really live in a place, you take take these sorts of things a bit more seriously than when you only visit a few times a year or you haven't been here long enough to consider yourself a resident. This is not a criticism; to a large extent, this is to be expected.

 

Third, on the subject of aliases, if a new poster all of the sudden registers during a heated debate, there probably is reason for legitimate doubt. But if a poster has been here for years...? Would someone create an alias years ago anticipating that he would need that alias for a debate about violence now - some three or more years later. It is so far-fetched that it doesn't merit serious discussion or consideration, particularly in a discussion that has already gone too far off the rails.

 

Fourth and finally, you can probably make judgements about what is and is not important to a poster by what and how they post. You can go back and judge what they are posting now by what they posted before. Harder to do this in real life since there is no written record.

 

I am sure there are plenty of us here who wish they were carrying a tape recorder when listening to some chronic bar stool pundit hold forth with moral certainity on a subject he really knows nothing about. Wouldn't it be fun to re-play that tape the next time some blowhard holds forth? Here, to some extent, you can do that.

 

Unlike conversations in the real world, we do have a record of what is said here. Consequently, when a poster previously made a claim that is demonstrably false, you can call them on it. You can even create a hyper-link to the prior discussion. This clearly bothers some, but I think it is useful because here, unlike in real world conversations, it is much harder to deny that such a comment was made before

[buddha]

No, my comment in the thread about your girlfriend was not in any way provoked by anything you said. I don't know any burmese refugees? My commentary was unwarranted and didn't add anything but nastyness to the thread. sorry.

[bibblies]

buddha said:

I once sat down next to a guy in Phuket and right away asked him if he was old hippie. OH used to have a graphic of what looked like Jerry Garcia, and his tag line is always a grateful dead lyric. This guy looked like the graphic, had on a tie dye, and kept requesting dead songs it prompted me to ask.

That's the test, isn't it? Whether you can recognise someone in real life. For example, I can't picture JJSushi at all (apart from being sure that he'd be a shortarse wearing a baseball cap the wrong way around). And I'd almost certainly be disappointed to see him in real life after the build up he's given himself! ::

 

KhunSanuk - I'd be disappointed if he looked like anything other than his avatar. In fact, I'd refuse to accept anything else.

 

Gadfly - I'm sure that one day I'll be able to recognise him, probably in Angelwitch. But, like in The Deerhunter, I'm only going give myself one shot at guessing. One shot, just one shot...

[shygye]

It's the heat.

[thalenoi]

must be a case of mistaken identity on my side then.

 

What is this with PC stuff on NP? The rainy season started yesterday here in Udon, I hope the apologetic season is over now

[buddha]

I apologised for the three ways I offended people on the board because of someones post the other day. He commented that he would ignore me from that point forward. The other day he quoted me on a different thread. I really don't care what the poster thinks of me, and vise versa, but rather than being a wise ass and pointing it out it would be better to acknowledge in a different manner.

 

I also met someone in new wave on soi 7. He asked if I knew about the board, I was a complete n00b at the time. On the board and in the LOS. I replied yes and I volunteered my screen name. He wouldn't give his up, but his friend walked in and greeted him by his screen name.

 

I will try not to post anything in the future that warrants a sappy apology thread.