Helmut Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Hello. My name is Helmut. I not want to speak country I am from because everybody always talk bad about it. But let me say that I was not born when my country bad. And not everybody bad then ! Like my grandfather who left to me many fine paintings and gold things. My grandfather very good man! But I like Thailand very much and gave up my profession as renouned tattoo artist when I was only 24 ! I had already gotten to the top of my profession tatooing almost every top model in the world.!!! Mein tattoos have been on the cover of EVERY fashion magazine you can think about. I come to Thailand first time to do tattoos on models for swim suit shoot for Der Masturbator magazine and I love it too much. Before I move to Thailand I come here many times. Because I was world traveler in my former profession I had about 10,000,000 miles on One Galaxy Alliance program. But I found traveling with ordinary people a real problem. I could not get far enough away from them. First Class travel is not what it should be, you know? Or maybe you donâ??t know and never will? Even when I would be met at the gate with a private cart to take me fast by the ordinary people, it was not fast enough. And having to wait for two people ahead of me in the immigration lines was really irritating. I could show you all of my boarding passes, but I have no idea where they are now. My secretary always took care of those things! Anyway, now I have my own aircraft (plurals) and can fly direct into BKK and then take my helicopter from plane-side to the top of the hotel I am living in! If youâ??ve wondered who was arriving in Pattaya in a helicopter and landing on top of a hotel, now maybe you know! Some people call me a vanker. So if you hear someone yell â??here comes Vanker Oneâ? you know they are talking about my helicopter! (They call ME â??Number One Vankerâ?Â. ) I try to do many things when I come to Pattaya. One thing I want to do so desperately is to find somebody to love. But I find that I love myself so much that I almost give up hope that I can ever find somebody to love as much as I love myself. That was until I discovered Boyz Town! Somchai was the answer to my prayers. And after two weeks I decide to buy him ten buffalo for his family in Isan. I decide to find small business for me to take care of because Somchai sometimes must go home to visit family and I get bored too much. I know Somchai never lie to me and that he love me more than the fat, smelly, old men he go with. I trust him with everything. I first buy six 7-11â??s only to get a idea of how to do business here. It was also something I could visit to remind me of how impossibly superior I am to my employees and customersâ?¦and of course I get free colas at my stores! I am very careful not to let the employees or customers know I am the owner because I am afraid that they will start hanging on. You know little people always vant to use you if you important and rich and famous. Or maybe you donâ??t know ! But one thing I know about my employees is that they are always honest and verk hard. I always get right change from my employees and I am sure they do not steal from shelf or register or overcharge the other customers. All jai dee mak mak. They are scared if they do bad they will have bad karmaâ?¦that is the way Thai people think ! After six months here some people ask if I want to invest in a go-go bar. But I must say no. I think maybe some small money could be made but I know everybody talk that bar owner is a pimp. I do not think so but the small people know nothing. So I say no to bar investment. But now I with other people and we invest other things. I now own part of Royal Garden complex and I will soon buy Dusit hotel. It is old now and I will take it down and put up the best hotel in Pattaya very soon. Maybe I will have private grand opening party just for board members hereâ?¦with many, many beautiful stunners personally selected from the most beautiful Thai models I have tatooed! (Please do not say anything like â??Havenâ??t I seen you at Luciferâ??s?,â? because I donâ??t want anybody thinking I am a pimp! ) So I say velcome to everybody here and hope to enjoy discussing many things with you. You know, besides being a world class tattoo artist I am also widely recognized as an expert on just about everything including world affairs. Just ask me what you want to know ! And excuse me if I become involved in some discussions like I am drinking too much. It is probably because Iâ??ve have been drinking too much. Sometimes I go to Walking Street and walk and walk and walk and walk looking for a whore who will go with me. Mostly I end up alone and go back to my room and drink and go on line and vank. I should not do that I know. I should not go on line when my mind is fucked up. So I apologize early if this happens some times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samak Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 dear Helmut actually your country is very much liked, in particular if your lovely lady Kanzler pay the deficits in the European Union! and my comment to your post: Troll weiter so and get big times fucked up in Pattaya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Verzeihen Sie mir, wenn ich mich irre, aber ich vermute, dass Sie mit der Schei�e voll sind, und bald eine Bar öffnen werden. Entschuldigen Sie meine Sachkenntnisse der Deutschen Sprache, die schlecht sind, und verzeihen Sie mir bitte, wenn ich mich im Annehmen irre, dass Sie deutsch sind. Ich bin überrascht, wenn Sie 1 Wort davon verstehen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colorwolf Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 one of the better posts i've ever read! congratulations! as a renowned photographer, i've shot many a cover for "der masturbator" magazine. so good to get to know another contributor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanddawg1 Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Wanker Monkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Grüss Gott Helmut, impossible to hide that you are German, your language gave you away I hope we are getting good rates when you are the boss of Dusit Hotel. Interesting that you bought shares of Royal Garden, that must be a very good investor group since I thought that wasn't possible! Viel Glück on this board! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solomick Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Well there goes that theory... I thought Helmut was actually CT taking the piss Oh well, welcome Helmut just remember "don't mention the war" or add to posts " for you tommy the war iz over" dag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 that is one hell of a wrong theory but for sure it is a troll! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Well there goes that theory... I thought Helmut was actually CT taking the piss Actually I think it's someone taking the piss out of CT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 Well there goes that theory... I thought Helmut was actually CT taking the piss Actually I think it's someone taking the piss out of CT And quite an amusing parody at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.