How easy to spot a BG?

[HeartThais]

How easy is it for Thai people to spot a bargirl? I know one who worked bar for a short time before getting hooked up with sponsor after sponsor. She doesn't work at all. She spends more time out of Thailand than in it. She's super cute, light-skinned and could pass for chinese. She also dresses in designer western clothes.

 

So if I take her to a nice place, will she get discriminated against? Can people tell as soon as she opens her mouth? The way she walks? Orders food?

 

My suspicion is that even Thai people can't really tell but I've read many stories where people have gotten fired for bringing their BG girlfriend to work. I know this other girl who is rather successful in Thai real estate. She's dark and very thai looking. She looks like a lot of the bargirls I've met. She takes me to clubs/bars that are all upper-class Thais and foreigners and I never get the sense that anyone treats her as if she's out of place although she is almost always the darkest person in the joint.

 

Thoughts?

[Julian2]

Not sure here, I suppose the easiest answer is... if it worries you don't go out with her.

If she's from Isaan her accent will give her away and she may be discriminated against just because of that, ditto if she's uneducated. Thais are often like that; my Mrs who is Northern Thai, and therefore sits on the right hand of the Lord of all under Heaven, detests Lao, Burmese, Hills tribes and Isaan people equally. Even Central Thais are looked upon with a certain disdain.

Skin colour seems to be overrated as a sign of bargirl-ness. I've known Lao girls who could pass for Caucasian and Thais from wealthy families who are really dark.

 

[BKKanalist]

HT-

 

The Thai guys you work with would probably not care - at least I don't know of any cases where the guys were an issue.

 

The wives, though, will care a whole lot. I don't know if this is typical but if there are company events there will be a lot of effort to be friends, meet, etc. Then the Thai wives of the Thai men in the company will turn on her like rapid enraged pit bulls.

 

Would be curious to hear other experiences.

[Old Hippie]

I'd say if you are with her, and if you are a bit older (noticibly) and anywhere near Sukhumvit, or anywhere, most Thais would assume she is a hooker. This was a common occurance when I went with WTFG, who was a school teacher. Her parents really didn't like farangs comming to the house, as the neighbors would assume the worst.

 

As for a work environment, not my area, but I have been told it can make a difference on how far you go. As in, you may be limited by your wife's status. Others may have more on that. But in Summary, I'd say they will automatically assume she is a hooker, and if that bothers you, don't take herto certain places.

 

I will add, many guys I know here who married Pinays and TGs, have the same crap problems with people here. I had people assume that with #2 Wife, as she was a Pinay. Automatic assumption was I was in the service, met her in a bar...truth was she was a nurse, I met here.

[shygye]

Many Thais would consider her a BG because you are farang. This would increase with increasing age difference.

[HeartThais]

"The Thai guys you work with would probably not care - at least I don't know of any cases where the guys were an issue."

 

The situation isn't work related. There's no way I'd bring a BG to a work event unless it was to hang out with BGs! This BG in particular is a real sweetie. A couple years ago, I told her to go to the apartment I had moved out of (I moved back to the States) and retrieve the 100,000 baht deposit and hold it for me until I returned. After she picked it up, I told her she could spend it as it was always my intention for her to keep it. I was hoping she'd use the money on something productive like english classes or something. I came back a year later and she had the money waiting for me. She had kept it in the bank and hadn't touched a cent!

 

The situation is that I'm visiting BKK for a short time and I've got lots of people to meet. I'd like to treat this BG to some gourmet meals and fancy drinks but not sure if a) she's going to be comfortable, my thai friends are going to be comfortable being seen hanging out with a BG. They all know she's a BG so it's not a big deal. But I don't want them to feel self-conscious if it is very obvious to everyone in the place that one of us is a BG. I could personally care less. I'd have no problems walking into a french restaurant with a $5 hooker on my arm because I'd think it was funny.

[HeartThais]

Many Thais would consider her a BG because you are farang. This would increase with increasing age difference.

 

I'm 30 and I'm asian.

[..]

Some good answers here. I'll add: it depends. Having been a professional expat in Asia for 20 years, I feel qualified to answer this. Here is what I find with the socio-economic group circles in which I mostly travel (upper middle class Bangkokians), in no particular order.

 

a) Age difference. If you are less than 45 (or look it) and she is over 23 (or looks it), then most city folks will assume you are dating until proven wrong.

 

Social skill. She doesn't have to be Emily Post, but if she cannot handle herself with some grace, manners & charm in a social setting, then people will assume the worst. How she speaks and the words she chooses is a HUGE thing in this category. If she is uneducated, they will assume bargirl.

 

c) Dress sense. If she is wearing B199 jeans and mispelt English slogan T-shirts and vinyl flip-flops, then they will assume she is a bargirl. She doesn't have to have a B10+K outfit, but it should look like it came from a proper store, not Pratunam stalls. Pay close attention to the shoes.

 

d) Your social status. If you are a tourist or a low-end teacher (i.e., not at a big international school or a government Uni), then they will assume bargirl. If you are an exec with a MNC, then they will assume date.

 

e) Looks. Yes, a darker Issan girl may have an initially tougher time of it, but if she passes the above, then people will accept her. That is, the lighter skinned Central Thai or Chiang Mai types may get the initial "knee-jerk" approval, but the locals look deeper in my experience. Also, she'd better be attractive by the local standards (or rich or very bright or all three LOL). This goes back to your social standing. As a foreigner, you are up the food chain and can have any girl you want (that's the way the locals think), so your choice is a reflection upon you.

 

Yes, a career could come to a screeching halt with the wrong partner or even date. Like it or not, people are judged by the choice in partners (amongst other things). In conformist Asia, if you make a "bad choice" by dating/marrying a person of much lower social class than yourself, people will think you make poor decisions and your career will suffer accordingly. Unfair I know, but that's the way it is. Deal with it.

 

And do not ever forget the unwritten 3rd-world-based expat rule that you NEVER, under any circumstances, ask where someone met their better half. What's past is past and judge them on their merits now, lest you turn into a judgmental prick like the locals usually are.

 

And yes, I have met bargirls who can meet the above requirements AND taken them to hiso parties, where they passed muster with the locals.

 

Cheers,

SD

[pe7e]

I can't add much to the excellent advice you have already received except to say the average BG would likley not appreciate a western 'gourmet' meal and would feel intimidated in a Thai 'gourmet' restaurant. Yours of course may be different, especially if she's been around the higher end of the expat scene for a while, and the cuter ones, frequently have.

[Fiery Jack]

Interesting stuff. Just my 2 bahts' worth but I had a couple of relevant and interesting experiences when I was in BKK 3 weeks ago.

 

1. Freelancer from Soi 4 area took me to a very swanky Thai-fusion restaurant (can't recall the name, upper Suk somewhere; was very cool decor-wise but that shite fiddly finnicky food that can't decide whether it's Asian or Wetern that I hate ). This bird, though a freelancer, from Isaan, was very fresh off the boat. 23, no kid, very presentable. No tats, nicely pressed jeans and a not inexpensive plain white blouse that Fiery "Walking ATM" Jack had bought her that afternoon. Didn't look like a hooker at all. I'm 43. Can look presentable if brushed up and shining and shaven and (fairly) sober, as I was that night. The restaurant was full of well-heeled Thai families, oozing money. Lots ofwee kids running around, some very tasty young Thai mums. We got a table for two. I felt no embarrassment at all at being with her. One of the waiters was from an area of Isaan close to where she lives and she got gassing cheerily with him and, as a result, we got a nice 20% discount on the bill. No icy looks from the families sitting at tables around us at all, in fact a few smiles and a couple of kids runing over and wanting to talk to the falang (I was the only falang in the place). A good time. We strolled out of the joint like Charlie Potatoes and his belle. 20 minutes later she had my cock in her mouth at the Nana Hotel.

 

2. Met a Thai bird I used to work with in Japan. She's a Chulalongkorn graduate student. Mid-twenties, quite pretty but not all that pretty, a bit hard-faced: a 5 out of 10 for face, but 8 out of ten body, nice pair or tits and lovely arse. We went for lunch at some poncey Italian joint in the Emporium. Now, she's not a hooker/bargirl but she turned up for our date (I met her outside the Landmark, told her I was staying there, didn't want to let on I was digging in the dirt at the Nana ) wearing tight flared jeans and sneakers and a spray-on cap-sleeved t-shirt, carrying a brand-name handbag. She's very dark-skinned too. If I hadn't known her, I would definitely have tagged her as a freelancer or bargirl on the way to work. During the meal, perhaps as a result of my own impression, I did get the feeling that the waiters were a bit snooty and dubious as to her providence. They stuck us at a table miles from any other diners and service was brusque, conversation between she and the staff curt to say the least.

 

Don't know what I'm saying here. Probably that, based on these two episodes, a non-hooker can be mistaken for a hooker, and a hooker pass for a "good" girl. I dunno. I can't speak Thai: I presume the staff at the second joint would have known that my university gal was educated and not a tart by the way she spoke and, perhaps, her table manners/general demeanour? And, converesly, the tart I took out would've revealed her origins and line of trade by her accent and manner(s) etc.? Those who peak Thai could enlighten me. Please do.

 

Dunno.

 

jack

 

PS. Suadum's excellent post kind of explicates what I sensed perhaps.