Any New Jokes

[Torneyboy]

Excellent :thumbup:

The other Sux

[The_Munchmaster]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

 

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

 

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

 

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

 

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

 

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

 

Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.

 

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orland and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

 

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

 

'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

 

He then travelled all across America, Africa, England, Japan, New Zealand and in every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

 

Finally the American decided to travel to Scotland to see if Scots had the same phone.

 

He arrived in Scotland and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40p per call". The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

 

'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

 

The priest smiled and answered...,'You're in Scotland now, son - it's a local call'.

 

KEEP SMILING

 

 

 

[USVirgin]

Either the American was a whiskey drinking golfer fleeing from his wife or that's the biggest bunch of propaganda shite I've ever read in my entire life!

[The_Munchmaster]

USV, it's called a joke, you know humour, that's why it's in the Any New Jokes thread.

 

TB will like it.

[Guest lazyphil]

<>

 

 

what would a swede know about ww2?.....apart from you let hitler march right through sweden? :smirk:

[Torneyboy]

Either the American was a whiskey drinking golfer fleeing from his wife or that's the biggest bunch of propaganda shite I've ever read in my entire life!

 

It's a Scottish joke ..they take a while to sink in ...taken me six years to understand MMs jokes

..

[Julian2]

Then he still only gets about one in three.

On a good day.

[Flashermac]

<< .apart from you let hitler march right through sweden? >>

 

Where was he going?

 

 

[The_Munchmaster]

It's a Scottish joke ..they take a while to sink in ...taken me six years to understand MMs jokes..

That must be TB years, cos I've only been posting for 3 years!

 

[elef]

Now is Phil hijacking this thread but I don't complain.

 

First Sweden allowed soldiers on leave, also injured and sick to travel through Sweden unarmed, the worst thing was that after Operation Barbarossa started (invastion of Soviet) the swedish govermnet allowed the Engelbrecht division (163rd infantry division) with arms to move to Finland passing Sweden.

 

On the other side did Churchill plan, before he became PM, to attack neutral Norway and Sweden to control Narvik and the swedish iron mines.

 

Switzerland has an even worse WWII history and american sanctions remained several years after war end.

 

I'm half danish so I don't care, my province is Scania and it was occupied by Sweden 1658.