MooNoi Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 I had a call from a mate last night who had found out his wife had been having an affair with another guy. I listened to his sob story, and then delicately pointed out that *he* had been having a bit on the sly here-and-there whenever he felt like it and on his business trips to Thailand. He then tried to argue that with him it was just "the basic male urge to spread the seed" as it were, and emotionless sex with Thai whores, therefore it was ok and his wife should understand. With his wife, he said, there was an emotional attachment with the other bloke so that made it un-ok. Sorry, but I don't see how he can possibly be angry at her. How can he say its okay for him to cheat because his sexual escapades are "emotionless", but its not ok for his missus to be shagging some bloke behind his back! He then cracked the shits, accused me of not being a supportive mate and hung-up on me. Nice one! I'm not getting on any moral high-horse here, but all I'm saying is that if you cheat on your partner, you can't really be justifiably angry if your partner cheats on you. It doesn't make any difference if the sex is "emotional" sex or not. What do you guys think? Should I have just been sympathetic to my mate and agreed with him because he's a mate, or was I right telling him I didn't think he had a right to be angry? Some guys just don't get it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck6660 Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 I would say, you "called it as you saw it." W hat is "good for the goose is good for the gander." Fidelity goes both ways, if someone heads off and has an "affair" they shouldn't be surprised when their partner does the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Tough call Piggy. Maybe he was just needing an ear, a mate to listen and not a lecture Sometimes just talking to someone can give them a bit of clarity or perspective as they articulate the situation. I think there is a difference between a shag on the side and an affair. Don't condone either as they are both acts of dishonesty to the other. My ex always used to say to me "what I don't know can't hurt me." I am sure if she knew he'd been tooling BGs on his trips to LOS she would be hurt as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Hi, I agree with Chuck, if he was fucking around on the side then he has no grounds to be pissed of at his wife for doing the same. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Agreed. Would the bloke have felt better if his wife had said she just fancied a bit of cock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Yes i agree with you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Except there are TWO issues here, sex and love. Sex first, he's emotionless about it, hence he's not going to dump said wife for a sick buffalo owner bikini clad gogo girl. If wife has sex the same way NO PROBLEM, she should be able too. HOWEVER - if one of them falls in love, then that upsets the apple cart, seperate issue, don't confuse the two. Of course he's pissed at her falling for the other bloke, as she would be MORE pissed if she discovered he was in love with someone. Loving someone else is a threat to the marriage that is critical, getting caught in bed with your gig (wife or hubby) that's something that can be worked out, not easy, but possible. Moo, don't go confusing 2 separate issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Shit Dawg.....now you've got me totally confustigated!!!! I think it might be very wise for me to just stay confustigated....and keep far far far away from this discussion....LOL... Cheers DC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 I think the problem is as ND stated...men like to fuck, a lady will often have to like/desire/love someone to want to shag. A mans ability to be totally casual about such things isn't necessarily something a lady can do. Ok, sure, nowawdays there's plenty of exceptions (an ex-gf of mine for one) but generally speaking the experience needs to have some emotional content for a female. A justification if you will. In other words, it means something. In this instance, for the husband in Moonois piece, it's bye bye hubby. The lady has found someone she likes more. It's 'serious'. I think Moonoi was right to point out the hypocrisy, as cheating is cheating, however i think you could've chosen your moment a bit better...as your mate probably did just ring up for a whinge. Maybe a couple of calls down the line you could've mentioned this....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 3 issues ND, love sex and giving one another the clap or worse. Apparently theres an AIDS strain in LOS that gets through condoms!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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