drogon Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 I would easily kill to have my girlfriend here with me and I get mad when I read something like this......... If I had to I would kill as many people as needed so I could have the chance to live the rest of my life with my beloved one and she is far less perfect than yours....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 She probably also exists ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ow Posted September 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 I realise I am the problem but if we could all put that aside for a moment and deal with the issue of how I can minimise hurting her, from a Thai point of view, I would really appreciate it. Given that I am going to break up with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ow Posted September 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 Mainsail thanks- I agree and I am aware of this, but is it fair to keep with her when I know I dont want to committ and marry and have a family with her (because, although she is pretty perfect, she is not my TYPE and it took me this long to know that for sure). Surely you others would not advise just sticking with her even though I dont want to- thats just cruel to her, she doesnt want to feel like a charity case, she deserves someone who can love her as much as she loves them. And for those of you keeping moral score, I never led her along and have always told her I am not the marrying type- but like most women she thought she could do something about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 I realise I am the problem but if we could all put that aside for a moment and deal with the issue of how I can minimise hurting her, from a Thai point of view, I would really appreciate it. Given that I am going to break up with her. A Thai guy in the same position would be sending out subtle hints. Maybe some not so subtle ones too. Life hurts sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 ow, you cannot minimise the hurt. She will be distraught. Best way is always to be honest. Do it in a private place, face to face. Explain your reasons. Be honest. Do not avoid the responsibility. She deserves being treated with the upmost respect and honesty. Maybe in time you can be friends....although she may hate you. She will get over it, we all do. Make sure she has good friends around her to take care of her. Then stay away if thats best. Clean breaks are advised. I pity her. I have a feeling you may live to regret this rather hasty and selfish decision. I understand your points, appreciate from where you are coming, but i think your thinking is awry. Once this is done it cannot be undone. You say she isn't your type...but she was before...and 4 years of your life has been taken up with someone who 'isn't your type'...odd thing to say and do. She was your type...is the honest thing to say, you've grown bored and have probably looked elsewhere i'd say. Som nom na. You reap what you sow....think you'll find better? Dream on...you have classic fear of commitment issues, but are unware of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 P.S....you are right about one thing...she does deserve better than you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mainsail Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 I also spent 4 years with a Thai woman who I told up front that I was not going to marry. When I did break up with her it was awful. She went psycho on me and it drug out for a long time. Then she went to great difficulty to stalk me for a year. I have not heard from her in about a year now (after the stalking) but unless she found someone new I am sure she is still in love. I learned these rules the hard way. Never break up with someone in your own home because you will not be able to get her to leave. And never break up with someone in your own car for the same reason. Do it on neutral ground or their turf so you can make an exit. The lesson I learned about Thai women is that you better be sure about them before you enter a relationship with them because breaking up with them is so awful that it kind of erases all of the good times you had together. (As you may be reading elsewhere I am entering a new relationship with a new Thai woman so here I go again....) I went through 2 difficult divorces with Farang women (I know, I am a slow learner) and those were nothing compared to breaking up with the Thai woman. Basically there is no advice on how to do this easily. It is going to be a disaster. Brace yourself and lock up the cutlery... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 As an aside, people usually experience periods of boredom in a relationship, It's normal. It's also normal for what we once adored to be the things we end up hating. Relationships take work and sometimes sacrifice. This lady of yours sounds very special and you should love her for her wonderful attributes. Sure, the sparkle has dimmed, but that's also normal. It's upto the people in a relationship to put the work in to make things sparkle again, you seem incapable and just want to bail out. The important word throughout this is 'you'. BTW, there's no such thing as the 'not marrying type'. Commitment is a biologically based thing. You have neurotransmitters designed to make it happen. If i was you i'd take some time out to look within. You may have some emotional deficit or baggage left over from previous experience, either your own or your experience of being parented. Ask yourself...this girl is ideal, why am i feeling this way? I hope my advice is received in the way it is meant. I'm more concerned for your lady to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinod Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 Ow, I am suprised when you got the best deal, Uk educated, banker, and here we deal day-in-and-out with BG's, where people ask if the marriage will work. My advice is hang around with her. The thai girls know and will still look other way, even if you are having fun-on-the-side, which is not possible marrying a falang women as long as your successful and have money to take care of family. Look at all the thai / chinese business men around, hanging in upscale nigh clubs My exp., I have been in long term relationship with a thai girl more than 6 yrs., not BG, working in Bkk., I travel on business almost ever alternate month and she gives a few spare nights to party. She also does not drink & smoke. End of day you still come to her, becos, when you start compare.... not just-a-one-stand. Distance hills look greener... :question: I would say, your life is not choked with the Chinese / thai women as a wife, they are 1000 time far better than marrying a falang women. cheers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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