Help me break up with my long time Thai gf

[mainsail]

As Faustian says, relationships take work. It is true and you are right JS that you have to do something new to fan the flames. We get bored with them after a while no matter how good they are. I wonder if this may be even more true for punters because we have had so much variety in our lives. We crave that variety and it is hard for us to stay focused on one woman for a long time. We have trained ourselves to move on if we get the slightest amount of BS from a woman. Have you ever had the experience while having sex with one BG of thinking about finding the next one? I don't think the punters life is the best training ground for learning how to have long term monogamous relationships.

[ow]

"My guess is he's caught sight of other 'skirt' and the minds wandered to pastures new."

 

And if this assumption happens to be wrong? Nevermind, right? Its just the internet.

 

Its nice in a way that many of you have been encouraging me to keep the relationship going or implicitly suggesting ways to do that, but as junglesoup said the issue is that you dont live a lie, for yourself BUT also for the other person. Imagine how she would feel eventually when she looks back and realises the signs in hindsight, had been going on for years.

 

But this was my worry too- if I cant be happy with this girl maybe I cant be happy with anyone. But then, this girl is not the type to sit and enjoy a sunset of her own accord and I am. Small things.

 

 

 

 

[Faustian]

Then end it, be upfront and honest, explaining your reasons. She deserves that. Bite the bullet and have done with it...ASAP.

 

MS, depends on the lady, some will just walk. I've had allsorts.

 

JS, as i've said, you gotta work at it...i'm now really in love for the first time and it took me many years to find such a wonderful person. I believe i can sustain this, as i know there's none better. I'm lucky, but it sure took me a long time to find her. I guess you just know when that certain someone comes along. My mind doesn't wander. I've no interest in anyone else.

[ow]

...and im sure you reckon you deserve her, what with you be so perfect and all.

 

My original question was how do it in such a way as to minimise the hurt. Replies incude:

 

1) you cant (um..)

2) do it quickly (right..)

3) You dont deserve her (ok..)

4) dont break up with her (er..)

5) you're a troll (huh..)

6) you're selfish (hrm..)

7) etc

 

Have you all ever considered charging for this great service.

 

Real shame no women around...

[wonderlust]

Service? Get a grip. This is a forum mainly concerned with nightlife in Thailand. You think we're here to provide ball-less wonders like you with a service?

[ow]

I was being sarcastic. Not the brightest tool in the shed, are you.

[Faustian]

Asked my hiso TG...

 

She agrees with me.

 

1. You can't. She will devastated. She thought you were rather arrogant to think you could minimise her pain.

2. She agreed. Do it asap, you are wasting her time.

3. Ditto. You don't deserve her.

4. Leave her asap.

5. Maybe.

6. This has been established.

7. Ditto.

 

If you dont like the answers, can i suggest you find a womens forum on the internet, also get a backbone and learn something about life. Cheers.

[junglesoup]

Guys I think we are being overly harsh on OP...?I m sure none of us are perfect. Lets get off the self rigtheous horse...

[Mekong]

I have not bothered reading most of the replies, after all every person who replied gave their answer based on their own experiences and since we are all individuals we all approach things from a differant tact.

 

A few years ago I was dating a TG who had moved back to Bangkok working for a MNC after spending 10 years in Australia (aged 15-25), we did not co-habit but our respecitive apartments were in adjacent buildings.

 

Atter about 18 months I was asking myself "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman?" the more I thought about it the less appealling the idea became.

 

Towards the end of the relationship we both had a couple of weeks off work and spent the time together 24 hours a day having trips away to Pranburi, Kanchanaburi etc then a few days uo in CR and CM, at the end of the 2 weeks I knew she was not for me.

 

I still remember our last night together in CM, out for dinner and I told her straight but politley that after the previous 2 weeks I could not see us having a future together, we must have chatted until 3-4 AM in the morning and came to a mutual understanding and agreed to go our seperate ways.

 

I find it quite ironic that present day I am the one who has met someone else, settled down, married and living a semi-comfortable life whereas the ex is still living in rented apartments and still having a string of failled relationships.

 

Bottom Line : If it does not feel right, it probably isn't right, get out now for your own sanity, but at least show future-ex some respect and explain to her why you want to go your seperate way, she deserves that at least.

[ow]

Faustian tell me where to send the invoice- you clearly havent had this much fun in months. Ask your hiso gf, who was probably attracted to you because she saw so much of herself in you, that if I walked up to my gf and slapped her in the face and called her a bitch, does this think this would add or subtract to the pain I cause her. Then, if the link doesnt go ping in her head, ask her if she feels this is indication of different methods causing different degrees of pain, and then.. finally.. ask her if this might mean there is one method above all else which would cause the least pain. BINGO.

 

Junglesoup- thanks mate.

 

Mekong- Yes that is ironic, but good for you. And it sounds like you did the right thing for her too. I think I have no choice but to do it over the phone and tell her, after she wants to end the conversation, that she can call me anytime if she wants to chat more and just explain to her why I felt it should be done on the phone- i.e. not wanting to go up to to her city so she is full of excitement about the trip, and then piss all over her plans by breaking up with her and leaving the next day, and making her lose face with her very Thai housemates (who will blatantly end up thinking it was her fault for not being able to keep me - like most thai people would think in the absence of any other evidence).

 

The alternative is invite her down here or go pick her up but then she might not leave and even that feels like I am inviting her down so that I can abandon her.

 

Its her bday soon so I feel I should do it before that so she can have a brday bash with her friends and begin the "I dont need him" routine which is important part of a breakup. Or something. Not an expert thankfully.