JJsushi Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 I was right about you really know what direction you want to go in. What sort of disturbs me as I read more commentary from your part is that this relationship really is a form of gamesmanship with you. The money is definitely not the issue. I don't hear any concern about the girl in the form of her welfare from your part. You have no intentions of marrying her, staying with her, providing for her long term or crafting a plan so that she doesn't have to work in the prostitution scene anymore. Mind you that there is nothing wrong with that but why play the game if you are not going to reward her, when you are ready to move on? You seem more concerned on not apearing like a sucker and being in control of the situation. You only appear to thrive off of the drama and instability of the relationship rather than true heartfelt feelings for the young woman. I am really trying to understand what your goal is in this scenario because unlike the question you asked in your first post this is not a simple should you send money or not. I could be wrong about everything I mentioned but my response is based on what you post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 She has no real friends. She knows many people, but has no buddies that she goes FL'ing with. No buddies that she does anything with. As I posted elsewhere in this docudrama ' their lack of ability to trust is the most devastating part of this lifestyle.' Neither of you trust each other. That is sane on BOTH parts. Siggest to rent that video about Alien/human meeting. (same as farang/BG IMHO) (sorry I'm bad with titles, Enemy Mine?) Trust starts when one side knowingly relinguishes some of their power/fear. You are, IMO, smart, intelligent, aware and open. So WHO do you trust? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 >TTM, I remember your thread a couple of months ago, didn't your girl hijack thousands of baht from your account? Be interested to know how that went. There was more in that thread but as you are asking about the money side, here it is: She was living on handful of rice a day, channeling all she had at her disposal back to her village. With some money from her own savings she built a small house for her mother and stepfather (150K bahts). She was looking down to the granularity of 20-30 bahts and I was wondering how comes that she needed an extra 120bahts for some book, can't she buy it from her normal allowance... Why did she do that? The family (mum&dad in late 60s) were living in a corrugated iron shack and she could not help without finding a farang. When she got me, she did not know for how long I was to stick around so she fixed the house while she could. Initially, I was pissed off but after some thinking - she'd done a good thing. There are brick and mortar on the hard ground behind her. Did not spend money on drinks, drugs, gambling, provocative clothes. When I lost my job - she was first to say let's abandon the BKK apartment and both go and live cheaply in that house until I find something. I am still with that same girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 >this relationship really is a form of gamesmanship with you. The money is definitely not the issue. I don't hear any concern about the girl in the form of her welfare from your part. You have no intentions of marrying her, staying with her, providing for her long term or crafting a plan so that she doesn't have to work in the prostitution scene anymore. I'm with JJ here. Seems you are here to tame a wild horse for the hell of doing it. If you expect her to drop the tools and demonstrate her undivided respect for you - that may take you time and loads of shit you'll have to swallow to keep it going. Not all from my own experience but some situations you may encounter every 2-3 days: - you call her land line, she is not at home - you call her mobile, she's not answering - you call her, she's dead drunk - she's in some noisy place - a normal phone call turns into a long and expensive argument while she's explaining why the above situations had ocurred. Those are probably the most innocent situations...with a hard-core "bad" girl, you can expect much more grief. After maybe 10 incidents like this (concentrated into 2-3 weeks period) you may want to ask yourself some questions... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 Coloseum said: Than she says this: ?I want you to start sending money, you think I like to go fucking with men?...?. IMHO that's her way of S C R E A M I N G for H E L P. That post really made me stop and think. Than you changed your mind: But I'd still send her some money. Afterwhich I'd send her straight to hell and never see her again. Damn! She pissed you off, huh? Me too, but I'm still stalking her, so to speak. And unlike you, if she does something that agitates me so much that I never want to see her again, I won't give her any money, she'll be bahtless when she meets . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 What sort of disturbs me... I don't hear any concern about the girl in the form of her welfare from your part. You have no intentions of marrying her, staying with her, providing for her long term or crafting a plan so that she doesn't have to work in the prostitution scene anymore ... I am really trying to understand what your goal is in this scenario JJ thanks for all of your input. You may have missed this short statement to HT that was part of that long rambling post I made: >>>What would winning for her be (yes I want her to win too). Winning for her might be getting me to take care of her as a result of her changing her attitude toward me, coming to believe I am someone to respect, not scam. As you can see, my goals are limited, only want to change how she views me, not much else. What happens after that, well the sky is the limit. <<< I admit that the goal is ambiguous. As far as a plan goes, it wouldn't pass muster with the securities and exchange commission if we were looking to to do an IPO. Can't see it making good sense at this moment to try and make a plan, with her complete lack of trust (and mine). If we can get to the point of mutual trust/respect (and I'm not pegging my hopes on that happening, because probably it never will), than the sky becomes the goal. In the interim, some monthly baht may be put on the table, so I can see what effect it has on her. Your point that there is no real plan is well taken, one will have to be put in place, she has no goals of her own other than living for the short term scam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 When I lost my job - she was first to say let's abandon the BKK apartment and both go and live cheaply in that house until I find something. I am still with that same girl. I can see why you are still with her. With Jarunee, if the money dried up, who knows? some situations you may encounter every 2-3 days: - you call her land line, she is not at home - you call her mobile, she's not answering At this time, I call her mobile, she answers it even when she is with a punter sleeping! That may change once there are some 'unspoken' expectations that she is supposed to stay out of the scene. I'm with JJ here. Seems you are here to tame a wild horse for the hell of doing it. I do look at it somewhat as a game, and I can see how it might seem callous. I look at it that way not only for the sanuk, but as a matter of self defense. If its not a game, than its serious. If its serious, somebody is gonna get hurt. With a girl like Jarunee guys lose there head, she has this magnetic way of sucking you into her world. I plan on keeping mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 As I posted elsewhere in this docudrama ' their lack of ability to trust is the most devastating part of this lifestyle.' I had your previous post in mind when I posted that she lacked friends. If you are right, Jarunee is in a very sad state and needs some help. But what about the alternative explanation for having no friends? I think you know what I mean. If the alternative is the correct call, than she is jai dam jung loi and there is no amount of help that will change anything. So WHO do you trust? My Mum only, but she is a woman so I still have to be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 <<Winning for her might be getting me to take care of her as a result of her changing her attitude toward me, coming to believe I am someone to respect, not scam.>> Why are you so obsessed with being respected by a bargirl? It doesnt appear that you lack that much self esteem, why is it you need to have what is perceievd to be the lowest form of human life respect you? It is not a game, women like this are very dangerous, dont be surprised if she knows some very nasty people, along with a few police. I knew of a similar girl, not hard core or as nasty as this one, but the guy knew her past and who she knew and ended up leaving BKK as to stay would have been putting his life at risk. That you liken it to a Bond movie, some sort of exciting role playing game, is very worrying. If you want to play games go to paintball and let it all out. You dont usually get knifed, run over, or beat to a pulp in a game... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2003 Report Share Posted January 19, 2003 Walking away is sooooo easy. ******** Sounds to me like it's about the most difficult thing for you--otherwise why would you put yourself through this? Seems to me you're trying awfully hard to convince yourself that walking away would be easy... Nich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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