About time I start sending her money?????

[Coloseum]

I retract all my earlier posts. I feel really stupid.

But I'd still send her some money.

Afterwhich I'd send her straight to hell

and never see her again.

 

[Guest]

Life is short. Just go right for the Louise XIII. ::

 

Hangover is a bitch on that shit, if you can afford it. Ever try Louise shots, with Dom chasers? Oh my God! Great buzz, but hell to pay, in the aftermath (I was a fine dining French waiter for 20 years).

 

OK! I think we've highjacked this thread long enough. ::

 

Let's take it to "Food". OK?

 

HT

 

 

[Guest]

I agree sending her to hell (but she is probably already there)

 

Then I hold a place by the fire for her. :onfire: (Don't want the good ones to cool out) :onfire: :onfire:

[Guest]

Hi Coloseum,

 

No need to feel stupid. Listen...we can only offer advice on what is presented to us. In this situation, we all had very little to go on, so you can only present what is thrown before you, and give your best take on it. There are no right, and wrong, answers here....simply opinions based on what information is laid before you/us. In the end, we will answer based on our own personal experiences, which will often differ greatly.

 

And in the end, that is what this board is all about. ::

 

HT

[Guest]

That was GOOD ! Really good.

 

Thanks for expressing it on behalf of most of us ! (now I need clapping graemlin)

[chilli13]

oh dear

don't take this the wrong way, but I'm afraid you won & that's why she's back in bed with other farang(s).

and as I see it now you haven't sent any money yet & didn't compensate her for your time together - even she played her ace of cards by cutting herself & marking her yours solely

guess it's time to cut her loose for good

take care

[MaiLuk]

Agree HT that "You simply don't know. In my opinon, its time to shit, or get off the pot."

 

Also believe "Either commit to her wholly, or get out of her life, so she can get on with hers."

---

 

Whoa! Guys, slow down a little bit. She just asked not even 5 days ago to send money, and said for the first time that she wants out of the scene. I call today to talk about it, she is with a farang. So no chance for discussion. She is a busy girl :: and these things take a little time.

 

Also, 'commit to her wholly'???? Right now is NOT the time to commit wholly. I am very impressed with your idea to send money to hold her over until I get there, with no promises from me and none from her. That is more my style, it puts the ball in her hands. No real downside. Lets see if she wants to get a real job.

 

If she does, than I'll keep sending her money in between visits.

 

Committing wholly entails too much potential for real financial damage, because when I 'commit' to a girl I don't hold anything back. Nothing. If I'm committed, why would I? BTW, TTM's thread on 'How much is enough" is a real eye opener.

[jitagawn]

Hi-

I have kept track of this post because it reminds me of myself or should

I say an old part of myself... one that I hope will not return-

She is clearly a game player, a drama queen.

Your wonderfully written episodic recounts reveal that

you are clearly thriving on this drama, the neptunian fog surrounding her profession, manipulations and

dishonesty...not to mention her body which in the end will be old and worn. What of her spirit? This is what matters.Like moths to the flame.

I believe you need this to live, to be, to thrive-

Its a lot of energy for a very narrow % of long term return. My perception is that she is bad news.

Maybe I have written this to remind myself simply not to go there ever again-

Thankfully its been a long long time...already

Good luck and be well. Be healthy of mind and spirit

AND BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MaiLuk]

Guys. A little bit of controversy and everyone is ready to bail out on my girl. ::

 

HT, thanks for taking all the time to give me excellent advice.

 

HT said:

>>>we all had very little to go on, so you can only present what is thrown before you, and give your best take on it.<<<

 

In my original post, I told everyone only about two phone calls and gave a little background. I did say that "She is not a good girl" also that she pissed me off before and I dumped her more than once. So I did give some notice. But you are right, I hadn't given a complete picture. Still haven't. There are also some extremely attractive qualities possessed by this girl, think my posts have failed to put that in front of you. I'll post about it to offset the bad side I presented.

 

 

HT said:

>>>It's not about 'winning, dude.<<<

 

If winning means her getting on her knees, than your right. That is the last thing I ever want to see again. That is not what I mean by winning.

 

Who was it on this board that said (in another thread) something to the effect that if you want to have a relationship with a bar girl, you have to be capable of putting up with an endless load of shit? (sounds like something Pattaya127 would have said, or maybe TTM).

 

Also, I thought someone here would take her side, and point out that I had no real proof that she ripped me off. One thing is for sure, I called her on it, almost cost her thousands of baht. She learned a lesson about me. The lesson I learned I wrote about it above.

 

HT said:

>>>It's about being happy. Which neither of you seem to be.<<<

 

The question here is, with my limited goals (which I'll explain below), can she and I find some happiness with each other?

 

HT said:

>>>Sounds like a relationship born from power plays, mistrust, and everything a successful relationship is not. <<<

 

The mistrust is there big time, otherwise I would send some money no questions asked, and would not have started this thread. I think its not realistic to have trust with the girl I'm dealing with, at this point in time. As you say, she is hard core. No way a hardcore type is going to trust a farang, no way I'm going to trust her. A westerner would conclude that no relationship is possible. A thai would probably say the same. To make this work I have to think without using the normal reference points, because this is not simply a thai/farang relationship where cultural differences have to be overcome (not saying thats simple).

 

This is a punter/hardcore bargirl relationship, the key element being that she is hardcore . None of the normal attributes of a relationship can apply, and as long as I try to compare things in that manner, than its a failure before even starting. Scamming from her and extreme reactions from me are part of the equation. It won't surprise me if it happens again. If it does, I may walk, I might not. She is an extraordinary woman whose business is scamming. She is good at it.

 

 

The consensus is "walk away." That would be the logical thing right? For me it would be the easiest thing. If I walk away, I can butterfly, with any BG in Thailand. Walking away is sooooo easy.

 

Making something out of this relationship is what matters to me. The crap she pulls can all be overlooked later, but only if I can 'win' the battle. What do I mean by winning?

 

One part of winning for me is getting her to give up trying to scam me. How do I do that? I have to earn her respect first. A hardcore BG does not respect a P4P farang. Why should she? If I am a BG, and I have no respect for a punter, I'm going to scam him. I'm not speculating on this, its exactly what I would do. A rich farang shows up in Thailand, I'd see it as my right, my obligation to relieve him of some baht, cause I have none. Nothing immoral about it.

 

Torneyboy in another thread pointed out how the girl was bragging that 3 punters were sending her money. To us (and most thais) this is reprehensible. So why would the girl brag? Because from her frame of reference it is the morally correct thing to do. And a BG who mixes with the farangs has a frame of reference no less valid than that of wealthy westerners and thais. Its easy to say stealing is wrong when your the one with all the goods.

 

Listen to me, now I'm talking about morals here. :: Don't go thinking that I have a bleeding heart for these girls. If one tries to scam me I'm not going to say 'mai pen rai', there is going to be a big problem. But I don't find what they are doing to be immoral, since most morals are relative. And its no problem for me to be with a lady who scams (as long as its not me ).

 

What would winning for her be (yes I want her to win too). Winning for her might be getting me to take care of her as a result of her changing her attitude toward me, coming to believe I am someone to respect, not scam. As you can see, my goals are limited, only want to change how she views me, not much else. What happens after that, well the sky is the limit.

 

So how do I get to that point? Would sending money now:

a) earn me that respect? or

lose what respect she now has for me?

 

 

Someone might ask why I want to bother with all this.

 

Guess it goes back to the basics of human relationships. I've gotten to know her. We have made a connection. How many people in your life can you say that about?

 

[MaiLuk]

ib13

 

and as I see it now you haven't sent any money yet & didn't compensate her for your time together - even she played her ace of cards by cutting herself & marking her yours solely

 

---

Playing her ace card is a good way to put it. I did compensate her well before I left that night. As to sending her money now, well, she is with a farang, I can't even talk to her about sending money. Bizzarre situation that could only occur between a BG and her punter.