Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 First let me say that I think you have a very good handle on the the situation...as it exists now. Far more than many posters will give credit for. It may just be that your goals and motivations are not the "norm". Personally, I like that. Many here seem to feel that this is like going to the car lot. They see Thai women and in particular BGs as a vast SuperShopping lot. Many couldn't afford or maintain a car at home so they come here. Some only want a new car (GTG) others want want one with low mileage and a full warranty (she only work bar short time, now she go to school) still others just want to test drive everything and will never buy (tirekickers). Many who have taken good looking, sweet sounding ones off the lot, have been emotionally devastated to find out that the oil still needs changing, the timing belt WILL give out, and eventually that cracked ring will break and you will have to replace the engine. Now everytime they hear a valve train knock, they are sure disaster is right ahead. For many, nah most, this is true. They should stick to tire kicking and new showroom models with all the gaurantees.. after all new ones never break down?? Actually getting laid, getting a girlfriend, or getting married is idiotically easy here. And far cheaper than anywhere else. Despite the appearances, most are Toyotas, barely capable of keeping up outside there own field. A few Mercedes and Bentleys are there, but not many and the upkeep is high. You would appear to have found a genuine Shelby Cobra, not the replicar, but the original hardcore thing. Definately high mileage, and it will take more work, money, effort and committment to restore than most are even capable of giving. It may eat up your resources, screw with your head, and make you an emotional wreck so that you leave it in the garage as one of those never to be finished projects. But.........if you pull it off........???? Some of us need to put unbridled passion in our life. She could keep up to you as few or none have ever done. Just be prepared for lots of worn out seals and the occasional stripped thread. Now to MY (only mine)view of the more practical stuff. As was previously posted.. this would appear to be only a short time support until you return next month. So...make the downpayment, before someone else does. Your a rightfully concerned about how to keep control of the situation. I can only offer an insight into how I would do it.....everyone has their own level of interest and methodology. You keep control, by making the rules yourself. Not following her rules, or especially those of past BFs. Ask her how much she needs until you get back. (20K should get her through)(and the girls like this number) She won't stop FLing and I wouldn't suggest it to her. Just live up to your end of giving her an option and let her worry about someone calling her bluff for a change. As you already showed in your post about her sisters bar, that you know that one must allow the strong spirited to have some free rein. The idea is not to break her spirit, nor to control her, but to set up conditions by which she may freely challenge HER OWN being and perhaps learn to trust people again. I am sure that it has bee a LONG, LONG time, if ever, since she has been able to do that. (That is the most tragic part of that lifestyle) Actually, you seem to be doing extremely well with her and the situation. You are aware, and whatever you are doing, you've got HER attention. Just keep it up. Ah, go on jump out of the plane, someone will throw you a parachute later. PS..if you think the test drives were good, just wait for the rebuild :onfire: :onfire: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 GREAT post!, LaoHuLi Really. :: HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 So do I get the post of the month nomination then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Yes....you do. But I thought you were a chef? I would have expected food analogies, as opposed to car engines. "A bargirl is like a fine balsamic vinegar, but which has had way too much infusion of foreign ingredients injected into it, during the aging process". :: HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Ah, but everyone who eats, thinks they are a Chef. But, everyone who drives, KNOWS they are NOT a mechanic ! :hubba: :hubba: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Mayluk, I think in all of your posts, the key sentence is this one: I can't love this girl because I'm wearing my body armor. But I could take it off. My take is, that you want to take it off, but you think it will do you no good in the end. And you?re probably right. However, if you don?t take a shot, you will never hit anything. Do you want to stay comfortably numb, as the pink floyd song says, or are you willing to take a risk? If it is the first, do not send her money. It will only confuse her. If it is the latter, you should predefine for yourself what you are prepared to lose and stick to it. Not an easy task, but if you are the person I think you are, it can be done. If she got the upper hand than I'm just another loser in a long line of losers she has known. You are right on the money with that. Problem is how can you know if you are on top. What is the order of battle? Who decides the rules? Are there rules? The answer to these questions is simple. If you want to stay on top, you make the rules. She has made it clear that she does not respect whimps, so don?t be one. Sending her money doesn?t buy you respect, and you know that. Tell her that if she is tired of fucking men for a living, she must look for another job, and you will provide supplementary income. If she?s too lazy to do that, she?s is just playing you like a sucker and she should be dumped ASAP. If she is willing to take a job for a couple of thousand baht a month, who knows she might be serious. Cheers, Soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 MaiLuk, Any comment I could make would be redundant - HightThaid has said it all. And JJSushi in one part of his message. (I am just wondering - how comes HT understands the things so well. He goes to LOS only twice a year. He must be gifted by nature) I am opening another thread - how much money to send. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 case closed - now we can all get on with our lives :: actually I think your advice just sums it all up & leaves it at those 2 options... best of luck to mailuk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Very nice contributions by all. Personally, I never thought Mailuk needed advice he appeared to have a firm grasp of his situation and more than likely knew what he wanted to do from the outset. I think it is still nice to hear other people's opinions as it helps us all with our thought processes. A question: Have you ever dscussed with the lady her goals, dreams and ultimate purpose beyond the prostitution scene? Most of the conversation here centers on sending money, how to test her for sincerity and how to handle her apparent volatile personality. Beyond subsidizing her to leave prostitution and her getting a regular type job what is her ultimate goal or dream? That is a discussion that must take place when you see her. No matter how you handle her personality or how you subsidize her she still needs a purpose, not solely to stay out of prostitution but to give meaning to her life going forward. Maybe her goals are realistic and you can help her with those. Maybe she has not really given much thought beyond gettting a regular job and she may need you to "coach" her and to help her explore new interests so she can formulate a goal orientated structure. Please share if you have had this type of conversation with her because it will provide another layer of complexity and context in which we could discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 >Have you ever dscussed with the lady her goals, dreams and ultimate purpose beyond the prostitution scene? Oooohhh, yes. Her dream is to be a mother. With 3 or more children. And to cook Thai food every day. Nothing like becoming a money earner. Push the prem and talk to farang mothers in the park or on the beach. Sometimes, to come to my work and see what all that complicated gear and led lights are about. And check there are no other women after me. All the rest - my worry. Well, not a terrible scenario, farangs do that everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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