MaiLuk Posted January 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 JJSushi >>>If you think you are going to obsess over if she is playing you or scamming you or if she is fucking around, then don't send money<<< Therein lies the problem. What should I expect if I send her money? Wouldn?t it be stupid to send money to a FLer, leave her in the scene and expect her not to be a FLer? I think some guys have been successful (don?t know any) but I would not expect this. Probably would not even get mad if she ?relapsed? because she can?t help it. I know her too well. The real question for me is: If I send her money, why am I doing do it? Its not the long term serious relationship/marriage thing. Just don't see that as a possibility with this girl. Its not to help some poor innocent girl get out of the scene, because she won't. >>>I say send the money if it makes you happy<<< I will if it does. :: :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Perhaps you are thinking of sending it because you have finally met someone you has sufficiently challanged you. She say..OK I tell all my other boyfriends fuck off,, OK you want to be my boyfriend? You think you can keep up to me, the hardass pro, with all the tricks, who's telling you this straight.. OK let's see. First send me some money so I at least have the OPTION not to FL. Maybe I will, maybe I won't stop. But if you don't go this far then you are the same as all the rest of the sad farangs I meet, talk, talk, talk. Never really do, never try trust me. Same same all the rest. (from the Dairy of a BG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Hi MaiLuk, As I said, sounds like you have a good grasp of things. I did want to ask you one thing, though. Let's say she truly does want to quit working, and wants to be with only you. It sounds as though you do not love her. Are you prepared to pay her continually to stay out of the business, anyway? Also, does she know that you do not love her? I she does know this, and you being fully aware of situation, then no problems. But would not be fair for her to quit the business, assuming you love her, and are going to take care of her from now on. You say you're her boyfriend, so you should send her money ("what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't"), but also admit you could never really be serious with this girl. She's saying "send money, and I'll get another job because I love you". All sounds pretty confusing, my man. :: Good luck on working this out. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Cardinal Blue >>>If you really want to know where she stands with you, put her name on a joint bank account and see how she manages your money.<<< The first time that I met her, she had been doing everything to save me money, harassing me about tipping and all that, she was obsessive about it. She never asked me to buy her anything, not one thing, even while my idiot friend was buying his BG a 5,000baht phone that the BG complained about because she wanted the 7,800 baht phone. Jarunee could not believe how stupid my friend was to spend this kind of money. I liked her attitude. After about five days we went to the go go where her sister works in Patpong. Everyone knows Jarunee at this bar, and I tell her ?You buy lady drinks for anyone you want, I trust you.? I wanted to see if she would act stupid and buy too many, maybe her concern for my finances would fly out the window when her own friends were involved. I also wanted to see how tough she really was, it would be hard for her to say no to her friends right? Guess I like to create trouble. She immediately buys a drink for her sister. Mamasan being ever alert saw this, came over and gave Jarunee the hand to lips signal, a drink is quickly bought for for mamasan. All the girls now know whats up, that Jarunee is in control of the money, and one by one they come by, she starts telling them all to fuck off. I?m trying to keep a straight face (haha!). My girl was protecting my wallet, even if it pissed everyone off. Only one more drink was bought, for her sister again. She made me proud that day. That first two weeks I stayed with her were the best times bar none. That time was the closest I came to being in love with her. Very close. Things change over time. Or your inner self shows itself over time. Or something stupid like this. She is not the same girl that I knew that first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Let's say she truly does want to quit working, and wants to be with only you Wouldn't change anything, I would not pull her out of the scene. But, if we added one fact to your scenario, things could be different. Lets say she was in love with me and I somehow know this to be true. Do you think I'd leave her in the scene for one more day? I can't love this girl because I'm wearing my body armor. But I could take it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 LaoHuLi Sounds like you may have met a soulmate. Just accept that your soul may be darker than you usually admit... Perhaps you are thinking of sending it because you have finally met someone you has sufficiently challanged you. You seem to be reading me even better than Jarunee, she does challenge me, and here is this major challenge: How to stay on top, how to respond to her bold requests. But mainly how to stay on top. If she got the upper hand than I'm just another loser in a long line of losers she has known. If I can win this battle than I'm unlike anyone she has ever encountered. Problem is how can you know if you are on top. What is the order of battle? Who decides the rules? Are there rules? Its tough because as HT said, she has been at this game for a long long time. And she is Thai. The advantages are all hers, but I can win. I got lots of good advice on how to proceed from the posters here. You say that Jarunee may be thinking this: >>>But if you don't go this far then you are the same as all the rest of the sad farangs I meet, talk, talk, talk. Never really do, never try trust me. Same same all the rest.<<< If your right, than not sending money is a mistake. If you want to elaborate I'm listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Hi ML, I was not intending to make any more comments on this after the somewhat negative responses to my earlier posts, but this has got to me. I guess it has got to a lot of people because it is certainly generating a big response. The reason, I think, is that many of us have been in comparable positions - not exactly the same but with a lot in common. Basically you have two choices. Number one - walk away. Seems like you don't want to do that and you want to follow your emotions. Your choice. Number two - be very careful. Obviously we don't know everything about this and cannot know how you are feeling, but you are in danger of a broken heart and losing a lot of money. The broken heart is maybe no problem - life is like that. Just watch the cash, keep it under control and just maybe running with this situation for a while will deliver a really good result. Good that you are coming soon and you will have a chance to get a clearer picture of the situation. I hope all the comments have helped. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 OK, I get it now. :: You do/can love this girl, but know better not to. Am I right? Been exactly where you are, although not long term, like in your situation. If this is the case, I have no idea what to tell you. Depends on too many things. By telling her it's OK for her to continue to 'work', that aspect does not to seem to bother you that much. My concern would be that, if she is serious in what she says, then she may be looking at you as her way out (she's already telling long-time customers to get lost). Veteran hooker falling in love with a customer? Stranger things have happened. But if you really can't see yourself with her long term (as you have stated), then I think she needs to know this, if already doesn't. If it were me, and I needed to know if she were serious? I'd tell her I can't be serious about her, until she proves it. Get a normal job for 200 baht a day, and I'll supplement a small additional amount for her to get by on. She does it, then she is serious. If that's not good enough, then would tell me she can't change, or doesn't have the motavation to do so. And of course, brings up the problem of her being monitered, while doing so. Sometimes you just need to accept things, for the way they are, even if not the way you like them. Seems as though that's how you're looking at things. It is important though, for you both to be on the same page. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 Hi ML, >>>>The advantages are all hers, but I can win.<<<< Win what? Given a perfect world, what would the end result be, with your relationship with this girl? What do you WANT to happen? Where would you like to be 1 year from now, with this girl, in a perfect world that you could control? HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coloseum Posted January 17, 2003 Report Share Posted January 17, 2003 MaiLuk Risking the board's wrath here's my 2 cents worth: You doubt her feelings for you. Why ? --------------------------------------- According to you she's the main attraction wherever she goes, all she has to do is pick them, yet she wants only you. She's wearing your tattoo. Is she wearing anybody else's ? She won't let you leave her. She'd walk backwards on Sukh...Why ? you haven't bought her anything or given her any money yet. Your original post and all the replies that followed leave her veracity/integrity/sincerity in tact. So why do you doubt her ? You're saying she won't quit. Why ? Maybe for you she will. And I could go on and on......... --------------------------------------------------------------------- Than she says this: ?I want you to start sending money, you think I like to go fucking with men?...?. IMHO that's her way of S C R E A M I N G for H E L P. ----------------------------------------------------------- Last but not least: If you think you're wearing an armored coat remember her's is twice as thick. By asking for help she may have cracked her double coat of armor. Maybe now its your turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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