think_too_mut Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 >Seems to me this is exactly what the girls give the the guys, the illusion that they care! That's what I am saying. They give them that illusion. My reading of your point was that they participate in "mutual affection" ritual as peers. I said they don't. If I got your post wrong, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 Josh, First time I heard this was on a show about human sexuality. Discovery channel about 5 yrs ago. You can also find a refernece to in in the book, Demonic Males: Apes and the Orgins of Human Violence, or here is a news story http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/681172.stm GS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 Dr. Nick, Thanks for the thought provoking replies. As far as my experience goes I believe that most of the infidelity that goes on in this country is of course Thai on Thai. Many of the hi-sos are out doinking other hi-sos and the same goes for the mid-sos:) In fact, I would say almost all of the folks I have come in contact with business wise were being unfaithful to their spouses. I would also say that when treated well the bar girls are far less likely to lie than the so called "good girls." In a country where substance takes a backseat to appearance this is not so surprising. The "good girl" does not fuck her fiance but has a string of guys on the side that she screws.........so face is saved as long as she does not get caught......and this can be so much fun if she likes to fuck Farang!! GS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 >>>Another point that supports this is a study doen on human male ejaculate volume. When a man "thinks" his parner is being unfaithful the amount of sperm in his ejaculate TRIPLES<<< personally - i could really not give a fuck if a study says what my spermcount is, 'coz if i would have any doubts about the missus's faithfulness there will be some soon to be corpses walking around. the way how you and your partner do your relationship is up to you, but each to his own - i just will not orient my partnership towards what some study tells me to. and neither will i orient my partnership towards a very mistaken believe about "asian customs" vs. "western-christian moral". just look at which philosophies "asian customs" and morals are based upon, look for example here at the buddhist precepts and see what they say about sexual conduct - not much diffenerence than in christian based morals. people breaking those rules are of course as common here as in the west. people are unfaithful, happens everywhere, and i have seen it here in asia not any more accepted than in the west. there some couples get off on the "swingerlifestyle", but it ain't all, here some blokes have mia nois (where i still have to meet the wife who is happy about that other than some mia chao who mainly just care about that her bankbook is kept in the red). and by far not all blokes have mia nois, by the way - same as not every western couple goes to swingerclubs. this whole discussion about ape studies and "asian customs" vs. "western-christian morals" sounds to me a bit like a selfserving debating club, purpose of justifying by any means to keep on fucking around and feeling good about it. funny what all excuses people come up with to keep on playing around...:: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 It is the middle classes of Thailand who will remain the biggest enigma to the Westerner, because not many of us will have a chance to get inside their heads. --------------------------- God Forbid!!!!!! Seriously, for me middle class means westernization, nothing else, a job, promotion, rat race, the house, the car, the wife and kids, etc.... I don't know what's there to undertsand. Maybe there is something we don't get about thais, but i think it has nothing to do with their status, professional or social. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Sorry, have to disagree. Nothing on the girl's side. Gesticulation, smiles...that's their job, to make one think they give a shit about him. ------------------------------- I do not understand this need to theorize and tell what it is like, no way out, when you yourself has a GF who used to "work". I know you said before that she must have seen you as a dollar bill at first, but shallowness and business expectations at first sight is not limited to BGs and punters. I mean, do you expect people to become friends, business partners, lovers and whatnot always at their first meeting? And do you expect people who reveal who they really are, as soon as they meet. the girls also have defense mechanisms, it does not make them greedy, scheming bitches. I mean, it's a case by case, no theory there. I may sound like a scratched record, but i find there are plenty of human qualities (with flaws too, like anyone of us) in the girls I have met and the stories i have been privy to. Can they be bad and abusive, sure as hell, but that cold, calculated approach you talk about, it ain't. they are the worse business people i've ever met, frankly. If a guy falls for one that he should not, it's always of his making, never hers. proof is, if you hear him tell his story, anyone can see/hear he is blind to the warning signs. never fails. And if you guys think that 9 to 5 girls, students or whatever middle-class thai young women can't pull a trick on you, you must be dreaming..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 OK, I see you mean at first. But still, very few guys go in a bar and expect or find that the girls must love them so much. When we talk about mutual affection, I understood when some kind of RT, even 3 days, forms. Also, maybe due to their pragmatism and mai pen rai attitude, but the main thing that guys dig about sitting in a bar, or in this bar and not this one, is that the girls are friendly, easy to joke with, relaxed and making you feel relaxed. For a dude that comes from a stressful life in the west, even without love, that's a pretty good bonus. Friendly does not have to me friends, it just means friendly, and IMO, there's nothing fake in itself in that friendliness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 TTM: I gotta agree with Pom Michael here. Not saying this for every case, but many girls do form attachments. Why do you think some girls go with guys for basically nothing (and it does happen). Sit down and talk with them about the people around them, when they talk about guys it's "customers". But when they talk about particular customers it changes to "friend" or even "boyfriend". Particularly interesting conversation is when I was with a pal. A girl he sees every once in a while came over and said hello when we were in her bar. She mentioned that she was going to be busy the coming week as a "friend" was coming into town. Inquiring who it was (who I actually new, lol) she admitted it was her "boyfriend". I asked her about this definition and she got upset because she couldn't reconcile the business with her feelings. Now that's when it starts getting very sad!!! <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyk Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 goatscrot said:Dr. Nick, Thanks for the thought provoking replies. As far as my experience goes I believe that most of the infidelity that goes on in this country is of course Thai on Thai. Many of the hi-sos are out doinking other hi-sos... I've come to believe that the middle classes are the least promiscuous in many societies. They are the least secure (poverty may be a recent memory) and most concerned about appearances etc. The upper classes have enough money, power, status that they don't give a damn and are happily effing each other and the servants (Euro upper classes the prime example I'm thinking of) while preaching that sex=morality= bad bad bad. The lower working classes are too poor and too exhausted from working in the mines etc to do anything but a quick roll-on roll-off. Just my 2 satang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 this whole discussion about ape studies and "asian customs" vs. "western-christian morals" sounds to me a bit like a selfserving debating club, purpose of justifying by any means to keep on fucking around and feeling good about it. Thanks. IMO, it would be much better to fuck around and feel good about it without trying to justify it. Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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