Guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 gummigut said:TTM: I gotta agree with Pom Michael here. Not saying this for every case, but many girls do form attachments. Why do you think some girls go with guys for basically nothing (and it does happen). Sit down and talk with them about the people around them, when they talk about guys it's "customers". But when they talk about particular customers it changes to "friend" or even "boyfriend". Particularly interesting conversation is when I was with a pal. A girl he sees every once in a while came over and said hello when we were in her bar. She mentioned that she was going to be busy the coming week as a "friend" was coming into town. Inquiring who it was (who I actually new, lol) she admitted it was her "boyfriend". I asked her about this definition and she got upset because she couldn't reconcile the business with her feelings. Now that's when it starts getting very sad!!! <<burp>> Have got to agree completely here Gummi. Over the past year I have a relationship with a girl that has gone from 'customer' to 'regular' to 'boyfriend'. A remarkable and amazing mutation that is still a work in progress. Can't say it is 'better' as a boyfriend, and it certainly is far more complex a relationship than before............for both of us. Where it will end up is an unknown quantity at this point, despite mutual desires, the practicality of living keeps getting in the way. And yes, it is exceeding difficult for them to deal with the definitions and realities. We have spent many, many days, weeks, trying to define the differences between these terms (which are their terms BTW) and still have yet to reach a workable conclusion. Just one point of warning to others though. If you become a boyfriend.........there is no going back to being a customer. At least with mine. So be sure what you really want. You may just get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Hi again: I may have missed the boat here in clarifying the expression "illusion of mutual affection" but here goes: When I wrote it I didn't think it appeared ambivalent - I didn't mean the illusion is mutual. I referred to a customer going in and experiencing that illusion of "mutual affection". Obviously he knows that he is attracted to the girl, but if she is good at her job she creates the impression (especially in the less experienced punter) that she is attracted to him. Bargirls get very good at mimicing the signs of genuine attraction - strong eye contact, big smiles, flirtatious touching etc. She knows consciously what she's doing and what her goal is and that she doesn't need to be attracted to him to achieve that goal, but that he needs to feel that she is attracted to him. As I said, a recipe for disaster for a lot of lonely guys and a story you see documented here and on Stickman a hell of a lot. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 >She knows consciously what she's doing and what her goal is and that she doesn't need to be attracted to him to achieve that goal, but that he needs to feel that she is attracted to him. That's what I am saying too. Some experienced members are challenging that standpoint, they might be right on a case to case basis but that the girls don't give a s*** about punters is the mainstream IMO and IME. Just reread the original post that started this thread - exactly lack of any care, wrong impression on the punter's side...now, it fuckin' hurts. And yes, this site and Stick's are full of examples like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Can no longer edit due to time restriction but my last post should read "ambiguous" where it says "ambivalent". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLeakHunt Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 If it's correction you're after, get yourself down The Cave, Soi 33. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 SLH, spot on That made me ROTFLMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 >Bargirls get very good at mimicing the signs of genuine attraction < Always wondered why that is. They seem to have a special ability that goes beyond something they simply learned in the bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 I haven't read this list for a while, so my response is a bit late. Yes, Josh-Ingu hits the nail on the head (in his first reponse in this thread) , it is all about committment. Some of the vintage members here may remember my history a few years ago with "Nok" from Nakhon Panom (via VOODOO). In retrospect, I had to acknowledge that the reason that our relationship didn't work out was because, when it really came down to it, I wasn't prepared to commit 100% to a future with her. We tried living together in BKK for 3 months, and my lack of 100% committment became slowly clear to me, and to her. Money wasn't the issue so much, I accepted the need to provide some support to the family. The issue was me not being sure I would in the long term be 100% committed to her. Her future security was paramount to her, something I could understand. She found the'other' guy was prepared to make that committment, so married him, and went to live in England. BTW, I just got an email from T (the other guy). He writes me, telling she's become a different woman, very happy, and a devoted mother to their 4 months old son. I'm very happy for them, and may meet up with them in LOS in October. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarfman_II Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 I agree with this thread that BGs are good at pretending to like you. If this offends anybody i am sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarfman_II Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 I also agree with Pom Michael that they like you when u go more than 1 time. If this offends anybody i am sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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