carlton68 Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 Hi Steffi, not an easy situation you are in, and no way that an outsider really can tell you what to do. It's not about how much the dowry is, but that your girl does not try to stay behind you. She knows your concerns and doesn't speak up to your advantage, so shit I think her love for you is not that great. Easy to say for me: get out of it. It's not about the Baht, but save your heart. Carlton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 dundee, the question about not adapting was directed at farangbaa, not you. as you seem to have a relationship going very well like me. i believe you have the adaptation thing done. just a misunderstanding. i found that quote from you very fitting to describe farangbaa's situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 cq20, another selfulfilling prophecy could be: "she's gonna rip me off, they all gonna rip me off!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 “She really needs to grasp the facts, the more you give to others the less there is for her. “ CQ20, I could not describe this better On the story, which I told, this is very sadden, as both this farang and the mother do not give a dam shit to them kids, nor giving any financial aid. The daughter did break all the ties, as we have here a face & status issue, and the farang went back to his home country. Cannot believe that I hear once the grandmother (she was anger) yelling to these kids on how bad they are, as they have a farang bloodline. Very, very pitifully Well, this might be an isolated case, but is does happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 Was speaking with another friend yesterday, looking at the wedding photos she had of one of her friends who had married recently. I know the friend, and know of her Farang bf, now husband. She has a degree and an MBA, plenty of status now, she was working in a restaurant/bar much like some of the upmarket places you find in the laneway of patpong 2. Studying at the same time I believe. Anyway her dowry was 300K, this is quite alot too, taking into account the family and village did not know she worked as a hostess, only knew of her degree and MBA etc. With her qualifications she could probably get quite a decent job, but her Husband earns a very large salary, enough to keep a nice big house in the middle of bangkok. Her Father was a military man from what my friend explained, so had a reasonably good standing in the village. Just another example steff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 hello steffi, now 6 and half months later. what's the score. did you pay up? what happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted March 5, 2002 Report Share Posted March 5, 2002 Man I had forgotten about this thread, are you still in Thailand farangbaa?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 6, 2002 Report Share Posted March 6, 2002 Hey All - Wow! What a great thread. Hope this guy listens well, but in the end it'll be his decision to make. Live and learn. I have many comments. First and foremost to farangbaa - Stop! You're killing poor Fly! Man, I TOTALLY loved your posts. Hah! Fly, you sound like a good guy and NO disrespect, but you have too big a heart. Granted, you know Thailand, speak (as you constantly remind us) Thai, etc., but all the handwriting on the wall really tells me this guy should run, not walk, to the next available g/f. If I walked into my future mom and pop-in-law's 2 story crib and saw a total lack of furniture, then compared that to the money they were looking for, I'd start to wonder as well. Hmmmmm...wonder why the "no furniture" thingy caught his eye? Prolly 'cause it's NOT normal! If something looks weird, it usually is. And if the family doesn't spend money on furnishings but instead banks it (to avoid flaunting (?) their assets) I'd consider them cheap mofo's as well, and probably clueless on enjoying life. Certainly not my crowd. This poor, misinformed boob (sorry, man) seems to feel the B1000000 is somehow going to be used as a divorce trust fund for his new Thai wife. Puh-leeze. Dewd - here's a news flash. Prolly not only will you NOT see a satang of that sin sot, but Mom and Dad will have it spent in no time. That money's history my friend, and it MAY not be the last time you'll be asked to donate to various family causes. Learn how to speak Thai? Hell, yeah! Good for any farang. Myself I can fake out Thai peeps at restaurants who think I'm really Thai. One thing for sure, there are more than a few Thais who hate farangs who reach a certain proficiency level, since we understand sh*t being talked about behind our backs lol Me, I'm okay with my community; everyone's known me for years. But a brand new homeboy? Sheeesh. Believe it or not this is not a Thai bashing post. Fly's personal experience notwithstanding, it's just that farangbaa's points hit home with me soo much more. And I don't think he's being overly malicious either, because not ALL Thais act badly over farang money...uhh...just "some" of them! My advice to Steffi is to call off the wedding. That's right. Just postpone the festivities for a year or two or three. Immerse yourself in the culture until you find a circle of people who love you for who and what you are, and don't see you as some annuity policy. I liked how one poster suggested to (politely of course) throw this "leaving our baby high and dry" BS back in the parents' faces. How about precious daughter telling Steffi to go f-off one day down the road, or just disappearing one day leaving HIM high and dry? Another thing, while it's noble to bring your forefathers' blood and honor to the bargaining table, western culture, norms and expectations just don't mean jack diddly to Thais. Save that for a western marriage. This is Thailand so you better think like the Romans, or face the financial consequences, notable board exceptions noted and GOD BLESS YOU ALL for your happiness. (Continuing rant ) - I really mean this fellow boardies...your successful relationships and no problem sin-sot negotiations and in-laws that truly love you for you...this is beautiful but sorry I believe a rarity. Farangs are not Thais, and like it or not, deep down, the cultural psyche is for people to marry their "own". Bull? So why isn't the planet just one monolithic race? Think about it without taking it personally. Go ahead and tear me a new one, but it's just how I feel, based on my experiences with Thai folk, high and low (class), rich and poor, religious and non, educated and not, urban and country for 12 years. Sincere apologies if I've pissed anyone off... [ March 05, 2002: Message edited by: pjacktpa ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 17, 2002 Report Share Posted March 17, 2002 Zanemay, I had a similar experience to you. I have been to Thailand many, many times, and a few years ago I was befriended by a very pretty Thai girl. We got talking, and she explained to me she was married. To cut a long story short, for 3 days I was chauferred around by her and her husband, went to meet their families, and , of course, I did the respectable thing in paying for everything in the way of meals, petrol etc. They really were a nice Thai couple, but on the end of day 3 and she was giving me a lift back to my hotel, I was hit with 'Duncan, I have serious money problems ! Can you help me !' When she went into details she was talking serious money, and I explained that I could not help them to that degree. It was a pity that after that I never heard from them again, because I really did enjoy their company. I have Thai friends that I trust maybe 90% having been there so many times, but when you think about it, how many Farang friends do you trust 100% ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2002 Report Share Posted March 19, 2002 where's Steffi, he started this. did she stiff you Steffi? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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