Sin Sot, when is 1,000,000 baht too much?

[buffalo_bill]

sorry guys, i do not want to spoil this very interesting thread which i just read from start to end, here something for the statistics :

my girlfriend's mother :divorced

my girlfriend :divorced

my girlfriends younger sister : divorced

my girlfriend's older sister : divorced

I am the only one around who is NOT !!!!!!!!

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

cheers, no further disturbance .

[Guest]

Khun Showtime, you wrote:

My response was.. "I could understand how they could feel that way as most of them had probably heard nightmare stories of other couples but they don't know our relationship and that we will love each other forever." I went on to add.. " They don't know also, you will be provided for if I die."

...... if you carry life insurance CANCEL IT NOW.

So guys if you were one of the 20 or so women, what would you say?

..... "get the money"

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

Farangbaa said:

"...... if you carry life insurance CANCEL IT NOW."

So, just because he is about to marry a Thai girl, and she is the benefactor of his life insurance, she will kill him at the first given opportunity? What a load of bullshit!

Sorry to be so harsh, but this just pisses me off. You have never met the girl in question, yet you automatically assume she is after his money? Why? Because she is Thai?

In Holland there is a saying which translates to "The host is how he treats his guests". Think about that.

Sanuk!

[Guest]

I know SHOWTIME and his lady is giving up a 1-million-baht/yr salary to be with him...AND the asked for dowry 1,000,000B was FOR SHOW ONLY.

However, in your case, the girl's parents are asking for 1,000,000B dowry which IS NOT for show. AND your girl IS NOT making any effort to help you on your behalf.

As a Non-Thai chinaman, I would keep my 1,000,000B. I will let my girl know that it is against MY PRINCIPLES to pay a dowry, as it makes me feel like a PAID and BOUGHT a WHORE for a WIFE. Also let your girl know that in the USA, it is the custom for the Wife's family to pay for the wedding reception.

My personal opinion is that they are after your money. I personally will let them know that I feel INSULTED because they said to my face that in spite of the fact I want to marry their daughter, they think I will leave her !!! If that is the case, what is their GUARANTEE that she will not leave me!!!

If i have to pay 1,000,000B for a wife for a year, I can get much better & prettier women for that money.

Sorry, I just got pissed thinking about this Thai SHIT.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by jingjoh:

Just to move slightly off topic here, I have a question for the board members.. How many of you would marry a woman you had never slept with? Honest answers and reasons why, especially from the ones who would!

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i have courted my common law wife several months before anything happened. before it happened it was clear that we will be together for life (hopefully).

i do not regret that. i think personally that sex is the smallest part for a working relationship, even that overestimating sex could cloud the brain.

she had no experience whatsoever, so, obviously it took a while for that to be enjoyable for both of us.

so far we live together since 7 and a half years, still happy.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by genuis8:

I know SHOWTIME and his lady is giving up a 1-million-baht/yr salary to be with him...AND the asked for dowry 1,000,000B was FOR SHOW ONLY.

However, in your case, the girl's parents are asking for 1,000,000B dowry which IS NOT for show. AND your girl IS NOT making any effort to help you on your behalf.

As a Non-Thai chinaman, I would keep my 1,000,000B. I will let my girl know that it is against MY PRINCIPLES to pay a dowry, as it makes me feel like a PAID and BOUGHT a WHORE for a WIFE. Also let your girl know that in the USA, it is the custom for the Wife's family to pay for the wedding reception.

My personal opinion is that they are after your money. I personally will let them know that I feel INSULTED because they said to my face that in spite of the fact I want to marry their daughter, they think I will leave her !!! If that is the case, what is their GUARANTEE that she will not leave me!!!

If i have to pay 1,000,000B for a wife for a year, I can get much better & prettier women for that money.

Sorry, I just got pissed thinking about this Thai SHIT.

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another person posting before thinking.

i always wonder why people have to interfere in other people lives who just ask for advise on some pressing matters. why do you have to use profanity to make weak points stronger?

who cares about the customs of the USA when the wedding is in thailand and the future wife of steffi will not go against the wishes of her parents? compromises have to be worked out, constructive criticism should be given.

simly stating things in a very rash way might work wherever you are from, but they rarely work here. and just insisting on principles based on the culture of your homecountry will sound very strong but will be absolutely useless here. nobody cares!

the only thing posts like this show the inability or unwillingness of the poster to adapt.

[Guest]

Khun Sanuk

Below is a quote from Hsteach, delivered personally to him by a woman he thought loved him, albeit anecdotal, I’ll admit. Illuminating nevertheless. You might ask how he could be so easily tricked. Well, that’s what makes women women, vastly superior to men in many areas, never to be underestimated. And we want to trust the woman we love. And more important we want them to admire us, yes? Aren’t we looking for their admiration? Very costly exercise. They all see this need in a flash however limited their education, whatever their social standing and act accordingly.

Yes, just because they are beneficiaries, some people will most definitely kill. Not necessarily her, she might have no knowledge of the deed. And not necessarily because she’s Thai, and not necessarily at the first opportunity. It’s even possible she and her family will respect him after coughing up 1,000,000 baht in cold hard cash and everybody will cease to be dissatisfied and they’ll live together in happy union for years. Of course the odds are against it. More likely they’ll figure that was so ridiculously easy he’s good for another mill or two. we need to assess the risk involved in every action in Thailand more closely than we would in our home countries. You put words in my mouth. No automatic assumption. And it would do no good to meet her. You’d never see into her mind far or deep enough. Certainly not a “load of bullshit” as you so delicately put it. The cultural differences we have do not promote close union. Historically, marriage among Thais is about money, about families being practical, improving their lot in life, not about feelings. Been that way since Ramkhamhaeng , maybe longer. That’s why they think we are stupid. The wife’s allegiance is to her family, not her spouse, an alien concept to farangs and one that’s hard to reconcile. Some brutal treatment in one form or another usually reconciles thought processes and too bad for those who fail to understand the cultural differences, and I speak as one who was caught and suffered. I learned from experience and you can argue as much as you like. Fortunately my loss was for only a moderate sum but it taught me a sharp enough lesson to make me think with my head and not my heart to help avoid another embarrassing mistake. Behavior we regard as unacceptable is commonplace in Thailand. Getting a good understanding of the members of a new Thai family takes time, then it can be too late. What to do?

As another author mentioned a wife can have many husbands but only one mother. Fathers, hence alien spouses, have less standing. Thai society is highly matriarchal, something few people will accept in spite of the show of machismo of Thai males.Disregard at your own peril. The strength of your own feelings and beliefs won’t change a Thai’s one jot. At the lower end of the social spectrum they refer to you as “mahn”, at the higher as “barbarian”, as do the Japanese. Our latter-day PC notions of discrimination are lost on them.

“The host is how he treats his guests”. Exactly. I took unnecessary risks in Thailand until I learned better. To quote another: “there’s rich pickings in them there farangs”. If we choose to live in denial the price can rise to an uncomfortable level. By the way, what’s your background and experience, Khun Sanuk? Have you lived with a Thai family?

On another note, assuming there’s a life insurance policy, if the girl called the wedding off because he cancelled it, what would your view be then?

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This is one of the most insightful statements I’ve read after 3 months reading on this board:

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Hsteach

"She told me how stupid I was to think she could ever love me... I was just another stupid farang.."

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In the end you can only measure people’s feelings toward you by their actions.

Khun Flyzonewall

I’d say genius8 thought quite carefully before posting that above, and his logic is no more flawed than yours.

Nobody cares, eh. You said it, and I agree there. Their way or no way, right. Pay up and shut up…..who’s wants the money?…..who’s got the money?

Another person posting before thinking? I’d categorize that as leaning to offensive. Interfere? How can good advice not interfere? Isn’t that the point? The aim of advice is to interfere, or let’s say influence. Much the same thing. Every time you talk to someone you’re interfering. If the use of profanity is his preferred style, that’s his choice. Surely his mild use of it can hardly trouble a mature, worldly man reading posts on a public forum. Your having us on. People could say laziness to take the trouble to spell correctly and ignore typos were as annoying as his use of profanity. Thais don’t care about customs in the US because they don’t give a flying fuck (whoops) about farangs except for their money. Or let’s say the money’s prioritized at the top of the list. If the feelings on her side were real then she wouldn’t give a damn about the money, would she? Constructive criticism to a Thai. Please. Adapt. Yes, so long as it’s the farang who adapts. ……be reasonable, see it my way, …….and so on and so on. The only thing you got right here is that Western values are met with thinly disguised contempt, if you can get them to listen to you in the first place. At 7 and a half years with a Thai wife I’d say you are a very luck man and a true exception to the rule. What’s your secret? (and Khun Sanuk is guilty of profanity too)

[Guest]

quote:

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At 7 and a half years with a Thai wife I’d say you are a very luck man and a true exception to the rule. What’s your secret?

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B]Farangbaa[/b]

 

I do not think that this is such a exception.

I’m married now for nearly 10 years with a Thai wife. You want to know the secret ?

Well, get a wife who is standing behind you and not put herself between you and her family. My wife doesn’t really care what people think in her hometown, and her family gives a dam shit either on others people talk. I must say that this process has taken some time.

From my experience, those Thai women who wants to raise their status in the village by showing-up that she is married with an foreigner, where unfortunate divorced in 5 – 6 years time. It is just the money what is the biggest culprit here.

[Guest]

Don't you think you're a lucky man to be still happy after 10 years of married life. if 50-60% of all marriages end in divorce way before 10 years in the west (and judging by what i've seen among the Thais crashed marriages are the norm) you're beating the odds and you can't argue with odds over time. ask a bookie. i don't have statistics but i'd guess the figure's higher among Thai only marriages than Westerner only. Between farangs and Thais higher still because most of those women are whores and not predisposed to long relationships. by definition a whore's job is to make money, as much and as fast as possible. a good whore simply has too much opportunity to do better by moving on unless she lucks out and gets a rich one. they get bored too. both examples here are exceptions to the rule, and, anecdotal. you are very forntunate.

[Guest]

Originally posted by jingjoh:

Just to move slightly off topic here, I have a question for the board members.. How many of you would marry a woman you had never slept with? Honest answers and reasons why, especially from the ones who would!

That's a good one. might be quite interesting actually. the heightened anticipation. and how many rotten fucks has anyone had. most of them are pretty good to me. not such a bad risk. is there a payoff here?