Old Hippie Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 "...you stay me you get a condo and pension25million when me die) bla bla bla..." Never promise them something when you die, givesthem more incentive to kill you...remember if they kill you for money, it is your fault, and it isn't morally wrong, as they want to "...help family..." "...Thai gals are fine for ST and LT but on NO account take one home with you .Too ammoral fickle and downright untrustworthy..." "A treat best enjoyed and left in Thailand "as one guy put it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 BuffHello said:ex whores or still operating . like an ex-smoker who still smokes ??? BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFiend Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 BuffHello said:Thai gals are fine for ST and LT but on NO account take one home with you. Maybe this could be applied to women from everywhere :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magician Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Long time lurker, first time poster. I kicked my GF of 18 months out of our condo at 3AM on a Sunday night about a month ago. It broke my heart to do it, but I no longer trusted her. It all went sour after I left LOS for about six weeks. I had business to conduct elsewhere. It was good business, and it resulted in a nice payday. Hell, it resulted in a new line of work. I am very comfortable financially, now. Everything SEEMED ok. We talked every day while I was gone, at great expense, and we were clear on what I was doing, and on why I was doing it. It was for us, to help me secure our financial future, to put me in a financial position where I could afford to buy a house and bring her kids from the provinces to live with us. She told me repeatedly, "I just want to be mom and take care my kids like any mom do." Well, I just wanted her to be happy, so if it would make her happy to bring her kids to Bangkok and live with us, fine. When I returned to Bangkok....she was not home. In fact, she left a note on the 'fridge saying that her daughter was sick, and she went home to take care of her. The cellular service is spotty from Sa Kaew, so it was a day or two before I heard from her. I was....unnerved, as it happened very quickly, and she apparently took the decision to go while I was on airplanes. A few days later, she came back. I did not worry about it much, as she has gone to her "family home" many times. But things were amiss. They just were not the way that they were when I left. It smacked me in the face when she no longer reached out to hold my hand when we were in a taxi. Yes, I realize this is a trivial thing....but the physical intimacy that was so natural to us before...was suddenly missing. I let it go. I figured that things would come back on line in a few days. Well, they did not. I had a lot of work to do, and not a lot of time to play, so she was going out to nightclubs a lot with her best friend. Drinking a lot. Frequenting CM2. I am not the jealous type, at least, not so much, and never really minded before. I told her that it was human and natural to go out and to develop an appetite, and that it would be fine as long as she came home to dine. She laughed, she got it, and she convinced me that she was committed to our relationship. Besides, if you have been in one Thai nightclub, you have been in all of them, and it just is not that fun for me. Other things began catching my attention. She no longer showed an interest in cooking for me. Before, she loved to do it. She literally enjoyed watching me go "mmmm," "mmmm." She loved it when I enjoyed what she made me. That was suddenly gone. I was lucky if she would send out for me. I cooked for myself most of the time. She slept a lot. She used to go to Uni, but....that stopped. I gave her money to go take her tests...and to pay for tutors to cram for the exams...but she was no longer attending classes normally. She just went out clubbing, came home drunk, and then slept until it was time to do it all over again. This went on for a little while...and I was just trying to give everything time, thinking that when the money started rolling in that everything would get back to normal. Well, the money did roll in. It did not matter. Things came to a head one night when she went out all night with her best friend, a really nice girl who owns a salon, and she did not come home. She did not call. Nothing. I mulled this over. Finally, I called her. She told me that her friend had gotten really drunk, and that she had gone home with her to "take care her." Fine. I accepted this. She came home, and I sat her down and had a talk with her. I told her, "you can go out, and you can stay out, if necessary, but you have to call me, and you have to let me know that you are ok." I explained that I worried, and all that I needed was to know that she was safe. I told her that I needed to know where she was, and who she was with. That was all. She understood, she apologized, and she told me that she would not do it anymore. The next night, she asked to go out again. I said sure, I had work to do, as usual. I told her to call me when the nightclubs closed, and I would go meet them to have a late night dinner. She said ok. She never called. She never showed back up. I did not see her again for over a week. In fact, it was her best friend who called me, sending me an SMS saying "Aimee she ok." I called, and tried to talk to her girlfriend, but suddenly found myself on the phone with my girlfriend. She told me a whopper of a story. She told me that she had been "confused" and that she had gone to a Wat to "be nun" for a week. She said that she needed to think. I was fucking pissed. I had gone the gamut from thinking that she was dead in a canal somewhere, to thinking that she had gone off to Singapore with some other rich fat farang, to every other possibility in between. I still, to this day, have no idea where she went for that week. I am not certain that it is possible in Thailand to go to a Wat for a week, and not have to cut all your hair off. She asked me if I wanted her to come home. I told her, "up to you." I told her that if she came home, she had better be ready to be a good girlfriend, and to love me, or to just stay away. As the hours passed and she did not show, I figured that was it. I shrugged, sighed, and got on with my heartache. I really did....feel a great deal of affection for this girl. I do not know that I truly loved her....I may not be able to truly love anyone, anymore, really. But I cared for her a great deal. We had made plans, and I had changed my life to acommodate her needs and wants. Then...I heard her high heels clicking in the hallway. I heard her key turn in the lock. And there she was. We talked that night, and I thought that we got things out in the open. For a couple of days, things were better. Then she started....getting antsy about my money. I had a lot of cash. She wanted to go put it in her back account. I told her no. I told her that she had lied to me too many times in the past, and that it was going to take some time before I trusted her again. She had lied to me about her age when I first met her, claiming to be 19, with a birthday in August. A month later, her "real" birthday was in September. Then, one memorable night, after we had been together about 8 months, she came clean and told me that not only was she not 19 going on 20, she was 24, and her brother and sister were not her siblings at all, but her children. Sigh. That threw me. But I let it go, ultimately, as I understood why she lied. She told me straight up, that she had been treating me "like customer," as she did not know that I was "good man." As I said, we had been together for 8 months, by this point. They had been good months. And after all...she came to me with the lie. She told me of her own volition. I gave her credit for it. She was terrified that I was going to throw her out, and it was a whopper lie, but I reassured her, and told her that it was more important to me that she was finally telling me the truth. I told her to never lie to me again. She promised. So now, after vanishing for a night, and then for a week....and then becoming obsessed with my money....I just did not have a good feeling about things. I told her that I was mad at her, and that it was going to take some time for me to get over it. I told her that if everything got back to normal, then everything would blow over, and we would just get on with life together. But in the meantime, I was mad. She looked at me and told me that she thought that she had already lost me. Then she said that she had "lost everything again," as had happened to her before. For some reason, this made me remember when she told me that she had gone to a fortuneteller, who told her that she would have "everything to her want" in January, as well as a new job. I told her that I was not as stupid as she thought that I was, and that it was going to take some time for trust to be restored between us. She said, "if someone is stupid, it must be me." Whatever. I actually set up an appointment with a house broker to go look at a great house. It was a four bedroom, four bath place in a good neighborhood. I figured that it would be perfect for us and the kids. When the day came for us to go look at it, she told me that she did not want to go, and that she wanted to go back to work. She was a "lady singer," and she had been rich as hell at one point in the past, but had lost all her money, her car, her diamonds and gold, gambling. She told me that it was not my problem that she had kids, and that she was under pressure from her mother to send more money. I told her fine, I would give her more. I had typically given her between 10-15000 Baht a month for her family. She told me that before, she had sometimes sent home 40,000 Baht a month, and that her mother wanted more. She told me that she wanted to "rest" when she met me, that she had been feeling hopeless, because she had "lost everything" gambling. Well, there was no fucking way that I was sending her bitch mother 40,000 baht a month. This mother essentially pimped her daughter out, and told her to go "make money," not caring what she had to do to do it. Her mother was a money-hungry bitch, and actually had the audacity to tell my girlfriend to ditch me and go find a richer farang. There had never been a confrontation between me and mom, but she was not on my list of favorite people. I understand that this is a Thai story, and that it is customary for young unwed mothers to be sent to Bangkok to earn, particularly if they are young and beautiful. Fine. Consider it cultural imperialism that prevents me from not condemning her mother. I respect her mother for taking care of the kids. It pissed me off that her mother treated my GF's kids poorly, and favored her own, but still: she took the kids. I looked forward to a day when the kids would come and live with us, and I could tell the mother to fuck off. I would still buy a cow, and buy some land for the family to farm. But it would all be in my GF's name. I would still donate money every month for the upkeep of the family. No problem. This is Thailand. But I was not grunting up 40,000 baht a month. Not to that woman. So many other things happened...small things, that just fed my unrest. While she had been gone, ostensibly at the Wat for a week, I went through her shit and found a note with the name "Mr. Moon," Room something or other at the Palazzo Hotel. Uh, huh. I saved this, and I asked her about Mr. Moon. She gave up nothing. She admitted that she had talked to him, that he was a photographer, but that was it. I remembered then that she had asked me at some point if she could appear in a calendar shoot. I told her that the guy asking her was probably using it as an angle to try and fuck her. She agreed, and she let it go. Another time, she let slip to me that she had bought her mother a new fucking motorcycle while I was gone. When I asked her where she got the money for that, she looked at me for a moment, and said "your money." Ok, fine. I let it go. I had sent her about three grand while I was gone. She had none of it left when I returned. She had a new cellphone, though, new clothes, new purses, and apparently, her mother had a new moto. Fine. I let it go. I have been poor. I know what it feels like. I also know how it feels to have a little bit of money, and to want to buy some things. No problem. But I just could not get past the lies. I had a bad feeling. I tried to get things back on an even keel...and lined up another viewing of another house...and this time, she went. She did not like it. Too far from the main roads. She did not think that it would be safe. She thought that we would need to buy a car to live there. Fine. It was a spectacular house. I put down 10,000 baht for the landlord to hold it for me, and then I decided to give it a few more days before I committed. She was increasingly morose...mostly it seemed because I would not give her my money. She wanted me to hand her all of my money, as I had in the past, to take care of all the bills, and to put some away for "her future." There was no fucking way that I was handing her all of my money. I told her to tell me what she needed, and I would give it to her. She hated this. She said it made her feel like a kid. Too fucking bad. I did not not give in. The last night that we were together, we went over the bills, and she told me how much she needed. About 20,000 baht for the rent, the electricity, phone, etc. The girl fucking wai'd me when I handed it to her. It was an utterly sarcastic wai. I looked at her, and asked her why she was trying to fight with me. She knew that I understood exactly what that wai was about. She tried to tell me that "Thai people do like that," but I know the fucking Thai custom, and my girlfriend never felt compelled to wai to me as long as we had been together, which was about 18 months at that point. We had friends over, we ate some food, drank some whiskey, played some cards. After everyone was gone, we were watching television. I got up to go take a shower. After I was done, I asked her if she wanted to go to bed. She sat on the couch, and looked numb, and did not say anything. Apparently, she was pouting. I got pissed. I asked her what the fuck her problem was. She sat mute. That made me lose it. I told her that if she was not going to be a good girlfriend, that she needed to get out. I told her that I was tired of her lies, and that I was not stupid. She just sat there. That pushed me over the edge. I told her to get up, to get dressed, and to get the fuck out. She complied. She heard the anger in my voice. I was absolutely fed up. She got dressed, with tears on her face, and she picked up her mobile. I got her purse, and handed it to her, and told her to give me the money for the rent, etc., that I had given her. She gave it to me. I told her to give me my Bangkok Bank ATM card, and the cards for gold that we had used for loans from a gold shop. She gave them to me. I put 2,000 baht in her purse, and threw it at her as she was putting her shoes on by the door. I told her to get the fuck out, not to call me, and not to come back. I slammed the door behind her, and told her that I was through with her. It broke my fucking heart. And that was that. She has not been back. I boxed up all her shit, all her clothes and shoes and purses and make up and nail polish, and handed it all to the maid. I had dinner with her friend a few days ago, and she asked me if I would see her just to say hi. I told her no. She asked why, and I told her that while I was traveling that my girlfriend had gone out and had sex with Mr. Moon at the Palazzo Hotel. She did not deny it. I told her that she and I were friends, and yes, I understood that she and my GF were best friends, but that she also should have told me. I was amazed when this actually seemed to resonate with her. She looked at me and told me that she could not tell my GF what to do. That her bad decisions were "up to her," and that she could not defend them. So, this may not have been a de facto confirmation that sex with Mr. Moon actually did occur while I was gone...but it certainly was not a ringing denial, either. That is where things rest now. I will not see her. She is working again, but not making much money, as there are "many pretty girls" where she is working, and they get "picked" more than my former GF does. Granted, all that these girls are supposed to do is sit with you, stroke your ego, get you to buy drinks and food, and then sing a song when it is their turn. You are supposed to buy them a "flower," a lei with a bunch of baht stapled to it, to compensate them for their company at table. But these girls do leave the premises with customers. How do you think that I met my GF? I was looking for pussy. She was spectacular. I told the captain what I wanted, he told her, she snapped out "five thousand baht," and that was it. She went home with me. That was 18 months ago. Now...she does not have money to send home to her family. She is alone, except for her friend, who acknowledges that she made some very poor choices. And my heart is broken. Yes, it is. I am getting over it. Star of Light helps, as does Eden. I have pulled girls from Long Gun, and from Lookie Lookie. I have had some great sex, and it helps. But I really did care for this girl. I refuse to be a chump for anyone. But I cannot escape the feeling that I am at fault. I did not love her enough, and she felt it. I was not patient enough. I did not work with her enough. That sort of thing. Well. Sorry for the length of this....most of you are probably not reading, and I cannot blame you. But maybe it will help someone else. Maybe not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Thanks for posting your story. One striking similarity to mine (well one of mine). Thai girl lived with me here in the states and it was absolutely perfect. She had been in the states for several years before we met. Seven months into it i took a trip to thailand (again). When i returned EVERYTHING had changed. She was in the "go out and party" mode, i had a difficult job so would not join her. One night she got home at 5am said police stopped her cause she had an accident and her fault she got the ticket. I didn't need to check her story because it was an obvious lie and i knew we were finished so there was no argument or questions from me that night. Well more details will only be redundant. She and I finished. The point though seems to be that if you leave town, and your relationship is not as strong as you believed, your girl will let you know one way or another upon your return. In your case she waied you. In mine when she served us food she put the rice in her plate first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 magician said:Sorry for the length of this....most of you are probably not reading, and I cannot blame you. But maybe it will help someone else. Maybe not. Thanks for sharing ! this could happen anywhere in the world, women are women...... BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surebet Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Thanks for sharing, Everytime I think about getting involved in a "serious" relationship, stories such as yours really hit home how difficult and painfull loving and trusting relationships are in this day and age. My feeling is that a beautiful girl is born cursed in that she can get away with more emotional blackmail than could an average looking 'non trophy' GTG. It seems here that her mother was very greedy (as well as perhaps jelous) and would go to any lengths to guilt trip her daughter to squeeze as much as she could out of you. Taking care of the kids was her leverage. Perhaps she knew the 'value' of her daughter and manipulated her to perhaps hit the 'jackpot' with you, but you sound like you saw it coming a mile away. And perhaps this girl actually had high morals in that even though you offered her everything she could not bare to go through with it as she may not have gotten over her previous relationship with the father of her children. Try as hard as she could - she could not be with you in spirit - only in body and mind and I guess she started to sabotage the relationship because she felt this way. Psychologists claim that it takes as long to come out of something as you were in it, so seens that you were deeply involved with this girl for 18 months you might have to 'lay low' and go throught the recovery process for a similar length of time before jumping into the next relationship. Stay positive, try not to think ill of the person but the deed, party to your hearts content and before you know it you'll have a girl that will truely appreciate and love you in a genuine and sincere way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 For me, I give the order: "Mr. Spock, shields up!" Never give all your heart to a woman, as pain in bound to come of it...from my experience. Keep enough of the shield in place so as to survive a mishap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magician Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Gentlemen (and I intend no insult)... I must admit that I am surprised by your responses, and I thank you. Strange as it may sound, it did me good to get it all off of my chest. This girl....she was a good girl, and she took really good care of me for 17 months. I mean, she spent my money better than I did, and there was no doubt that she was looking out for my best interests, and for our best interests. She did serve me first, always, when it was dinner time. I can remember how lovely that it was to take a bath with her. She would literally bathe me, with great care and gentleness. When I was working, a glass of water would magically appear at my elbow, before I even realized that I was thirsty. It was those small gestures...that mattered most to me. When she loved me, I knew it. When her heart turned....I knew that, too. The difference....was heartbreaking. And that is what makes the loss of the relationship so hard to accept, I suppose. There was no doubt that she did love me, for much of our relationship. I think that when she came clean with me and admitted to lying about her age and her children....that was probably the zenith. I think that she wanted our relationship to work, and she took a massive risk in admitting her lie. There is no doubt that Thai girls can lie their asses off. I mean, it was 8 MONTHS....and I had no idea that she was 24, and not 19.....and I had no inkling that her siblings were actually her kids. The crazy thing is, it did not matter to me. I told her so. I would have gotten into the relationship with her whether she was 19 or 34. As for the kids...it is a very common story in Thailand. But strangely, Thai girls are brutally honest in other ways. I used to ask her a question, and I could always bank on receiving a straight answer. Most of the time. She used to account to me for every satang that she spent, and she gained my trust. But once that trust was shaken....mostly by the realization that she was capable of lying to me, which I never realized before.....and by the fact of her lying, so well, and for so long....I was never able to get over that, and when trust goes, I think, the relationship goes. She is a great girl, and I truly wish good things for her. I hope that she learns some good lessons from all of this, and does not simply chalk it up to something that she did in a previous life. She is not getting any younger....and she herself told me that it was becoming harder for her to make a living. She was shaken, in particular, by not being "chosen" by one farang, who glanced at her while reviewing prospects with the captain....and he dismissed her with a succinct, "no, that girl is too short." She told me that she went to the bathroom and looked at herself, and remembered "my boyfriend never said that I am too short." But I fear that she may not be able to pull herself out of her self-destructive rut. There is no doubt that her family is a liability to her, not an asset. Her brother, who is older, contributes not one baht to the family's upkeep. Her biological father abandoned the family long ago......her stepfather is a layabout and drunk, and considered "stupid" by everyone else in the family. The mother....sheesh. What a piece of work that lady is. The Aunt is the one who really takes care of the kids....and I have to admit, that I worry about those kids. No, they are not mine. They are not my responsibility. But I came this close to accepting them into my household, with all the implications that implies. I guess that you could say that I loved her that much. I would have taken care of her and her children for the indefinable future, for the duration. I know that I got off lightly. Or did I? I also know that with time, my heart will heal, and everything will be ok. It might be easier for me if I had some confidence that SHE was going to be ok, as well. She drinks too much, as do many young Thai girls. Her friend told me that she was doing coke one night, "trying to forget." She has stopped going to Uni. And she has that mother, and those kids. She needs money. I would just give it to her...but for what? Would it actually be the best thing to do? She made her own bed, and now she gets to sleep in it. Som nam na, as the saying goes. She will learn....that hanging out at CM2 every night is no substitute for an actual life. She will learn that taking money from men will only get her so far. She had a good deal with me, and I think that she threw it away. I still think that I bear some responsibility for the failure of the relationship...but it was her actions that triggered the terminating events. The thing that I cannot escape is the possibility that I might have been able to prevent them had I simply cared more, or loved her harder. Ah, well. I think that I will go get some Som Tam down at Robinson's. Tons of pretty girls there. Life goes on. Thanks again for your kind responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted January 20, 2006 Report Share Posted January 20, 2006 wow, What a first post! Cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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