cardinalblue Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 M, Good story but sounds like just not the "right" (compatible) girl for you and thus not a good match. I hope you go out and meet other girls and you will find someone far superior to what you want or looking for. My remark is that your current feelings and your behavior are very inconsistent. You keep saying "she is a great girl". Your behavior and what you communicated here says otherwise. You don't need to be an apoligist for her attitude and behavior. One thing that stands out for me is when you said that her response to his first offer was "i don't need your money. I have my own money". This sure makes it sound like her primary focus in relationships is money. Big red flag right here! I think the type of girl and what you expect in a relationship (trust, loyalty, honesty, commitment, etc) would not shape her reponse in money terminology. Her response would have nothing to do with money but would more apt to reflect one's value and belief system... Until you stop being sympathetic and actual get mad over her behavior, you will continue to see her through biased glasses... The bottom line she is not a great girl for you and your behavior speaks to that. You were brave to break it off as most of us would have continued in a bad and deteriorating relationship trying to find a glimmer of hope.... You made a value decsion and most of us never get to that level of recognition in our relationships.... CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 magician said: Long time lurker, first time poster. Magician, you may be a first time poster but you've written more in your first post than Tourneyboy has written in 8,000+ posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Nice flaming Muncher, you have no clue on TB and he does have some good contributions on this board, unlike yours above my post ! BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magician Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 No worries. I am mad, alright. But I will also say that it is not easy to instantly turn off the protective instinct, and I do not think that it is weak to want good things for someone that you care about, even as you recognize that the relationship is finished, never to be resuscitated. I guess that you could say that she is just like anyone else: she has her good points, and her bad points. She was affectionate, and she had, in fact, earned my trust over time at one point. Once she came clean with me on the whopper lie, however, my trust was irretrievably shaken in her, and I think that she knew this. It was just my bad luck that her bad points included self-destructive behavior, specifically a willingness to sell her pussy for trivial sums of money, despite the risk to her primary relationship. For me, that is indicative of psychological pathology. I still wish her well. Though I am, indeed, pissed off. Thanks for your comments, even the critical ones. This is all part of my healing process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 dear magician, Like you, I pinned my hopes on what i thought was an exceptional, 'honest' girl. Like you, we made plans for a long time relation. Like in your case, after 18 months or so, she blew it by showing she'd been lying and cheating most of that time. Like you, for many months (years?) after, I still defended her, saw her good points. Yes, She cheated, but she also gave me many lovely memories. And helped me grow up. I still think of her fondly, my twotimer. I hope she is well. I suppose you can't erase the past, good things nor bad things, they all become part of who you are. Just don't forget the lessons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 I think it's positive to be able to maintain perspective after a breakup, and not blame the other for everyting and demonize her to be nothing but a shrewd cold manipulating bitch. Most of the time the picture is more complex than that. It shows character in my view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Others have pretty much summed up what would have been in my response to your heartbreak...never see her again, let it go, and also I'd suggest burning all visual reminders of her. Yet your initial post prompts me wonder why.... -You didn't know her real age, but later noted you'd seen her ID? -She had two kids...yet there were no discerable stretch marks (breasts (even those w/ silicone), stomach or thighs? -You paid her 5k-Bt (outrageous) for your initial fling...and never thought that she'd been working farangs for $$ for a long time? I find these points....curious...as they, in part, seem to support the idea that it was just a case of another BG roll playing to deceive another farang. A sad reminder of the old adage 'you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't......' I hope some of the user responses are providing you with some perspective you can embrace and start you on the road to catharsis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magician Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Good questions. I saw her ID, but never "did the math" on the birthdate. It just never occurred to me. I believed that she was old enough to be legal, and that was enough for me. And yes: no stretch marks. The girl was blessed with a great figure. I cannot believe it myself. Her stomach...is perfect. As for paying for her the first time that I met her, I had no illusions about what she had been doing for a living. She was a lady singer. Those girls are technically not supposed to "go with customer," but they obviously do. She left with me. I think that her clientele before me was primarily Asian. She barely spoke a lick of English when I met her. It took her about 30 days. Then I could not shut her up. Now, she is very fluent. She is a smart girl. I offered her a chance to walk away from that life, and to invest in a relationship with a man who would treat her with respect and dignity. I offered her a chance to "love herself," as she put it. We discussed it. She was clear on what I was offering. Apparently she could not pass up 10,000 baht for "one day" of fucking a little guy from Singapore. Like I said: I think that she subconsciously sabotaged the relationship, and I think that she somehow believed that she was not entitled to be happy, or to live a quiet life of domestic tranquility with just one man. Hey. It is a free world. If she wants to live that wild life, and sell her pussy, there is nothing that I or anyone else can do to stop her. No amount of talking sense to her will work. You are either ready to make a commitment to a relationship, with everything that it implies, or you are not. She was not. It is her loss, and her kid's. Yes, it is my loss, too, but there is also no doubt that I got off very lightly. My loss is primarily disappointment and heart break. Emotional loss. I thank Buddha that I kept my money on a tight leash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teddy Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 The_Munchmaster said:Magician, you may be a first time poster but you've written more in your first post than Tourneyboy has written in 8,000+ posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorro Posted February 16, 2006 Report Share Posted February 16, 2006 Magician I think CB gave the best advice of all and that was that this girl wasn't right for you. That is the simple and plain fact. You will be better off in the long run believe me. I think to some extent that you contributed to your own downfall. How you might ask? You were far too generous and far too trusting. This was treated as a weakness and was exploited. You are the boss and you should just tell her to stay home and cook for you and look after you otherwise you won't look after her. Let her know how lucky she is to have a bloke like you and if she doesn't like it you will find someone else. I think you have to play hardball with girls like this if you want to have a relationship with them. They are not middle class western girls and to treat them in such a manner is a recipe for failure. Marriage and relationships have a different dynamic in the LOS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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