Met TG online..Is she Sincere?

[Old Hippie]

"...you met up on line everyday but now she may not be able to as her village is an hour away from Ubon and the internet. Have I missed something here...."

 

Yes, perhapes she means she is going with one of her other internet loves for awhile, and won't be able to break away from him to chat with you every day...franjkly. I think this is all just a big wind up/trolling...the guy can't be this nieve...as you stated earlier, why post looking for advice, then ignore it, and continue to defend her, and his actions...? Rediculis...tes, some successes come out of the internet...but many more are girls looking for opportunity...anyone with 1/2 an ounce of sense and ANY LOS experience knows to question it all...yep, this thread smacks of wind up...been fun though...

[Bkkbound04]

So what i decided to do was set this thread and keep a post of what she's doing and going thru. Maybe in the end it will be a typical chronicle for someone else to read and say "Hey that happend to me", also you guys can give some input because maybe you've had a similar experience or can just give a better persective on things.

 

I look forward to hearing how this works out for you both, would be a great idea for a Blog.

 

JP

 

PS will there be a facillity for Blogs in the new site?

[FAT_AUSSIE]

Im with himitsu in a way, determining weather your contact is sincere will I think ultimately come down to time spent together.

 

I read this as: you have met a girl on the net, expect to have a better knowledge of the girl than possible and are not sure. The best way to create some certainty would really be to spend a few months with her. She has made you aware of her situation so in a way she has ultimtely given you the descision as to weather you would like to persue things in the future or not. Be aware as you may allready know once you form an interpersonal relationship with this woman you will in time be obligated to her personal/family/financial situation.

 

take it with a pinch of salt-I'm still a little green myself, just my thoughts from the outside looking in and to add, I do think it's possible to meet nice girls on the net and I too believe if you would like to get to know a Thai woman before you create something more serious the the net is a good place.

 

FA...

[MaiLuk]

if this girl is only in it for cash then i'm out. But truthfully, hey if you are on the other side of the world and a girl wants 4,000 bht from you and you like her, hell yeah give it to her. Do you know what a date in Manhattan cost these days?? Heck giving her 4,000 bht i'm getting off cheap and what's wrong if she has other guys?

 

There is nothing wrong if she has other guys. As long as you don't care about it. Problem is you do care. And you have even mentioned marriage.

 

So if i am reading you right, you don't care if she is playing the game, your goal is to convince her you are the right one for her and to ditch the other guysw. And she has to convince you that she is the right one.

 

So far everything is fine. Once everyone is convinced then a marriage is arranged and completed. You are married and half way to long term marital bliss.

 

But then there are the "standard procedures" that could possibly torpedoe the yacht as it sets sail:

 

1. She is a poor issan girl and therefore she and family have endless financial problems. She has already mentioned a few of them to you. You are farang and evryone knows you are therefore endlessly rich. You are fully expected (demanded?) to help out. This is standard procedure for this type of marriage. (OK i'll say it before someone shits a cow there are fucking exceptions especially every farang married to a thai who posts on this board )

 

2. You believe that it was fine for a girl to be phishing in the beginning and for her to be looking for a fincially secure mate. Problem is that farangs, even othose who SAY its OK, deep down have it in their head that true love is what marriage is all about. Accordingly such a farang will have expectations of how his true love will behave. Such farang will sooner or later suffer severe bouts of disorientation when expectations run head long into a girl who married for practical reasons. This is the standard way in which a square trying to merge with a circle proceeds.

 

3. YOU believe she has dropped all communications with other sponsors after you and she became convinced that each was the right one for the other. You especially believe she had done so after you married. There is no real reason for believing this. Maintaining multiple sponsors is standard procedure for a poor issan girl who moved to bangkok, lives with her friend from the village, phishing on the net and claiming "no hab job."

 

4. I believe old hippie is having a hard time with your ideas of marriage because your girl seems to be following standard procedures.

 

 

Here is what i think. It is lunacy to think about marriage. She has not even had a look at your mug!!! :: But lunacy is not always bad.

 

The girl is beautiful and has your attention. Go and see her and make her fall in love with you if its possible. Some guys can know if a girl is in love with him. IMHO most farang have no clue whatsoever (me included) whether a thai girl feels love or not.

 

Good luck

[cavanami]

...is she sincere?

 

YES!!!

 

Sincere to try to cash in and maybe it is working, as you said.

 

"...But truthfully, hey if you are on the other side of the world and a girl wants 4,000 bht from you and you like her, hell yeah give it to her."

 

If you want, I am hansum man, send me 4,000 bht ::

 

Only kidding...or am I??? yes, just be careful, as my suggestion why send any baht to someone who you *** only *** chatted up a bit.

 

Cheers!

 

Mike ::

[Guest]

Neo, just have fun and enjoy. Keep the gloves up, and don?t expect too much other than (at best) a superficial relationship. If you get involved, it will surely lead to doom. If you keep it simple and play it their way, you will have more fun. Just keep the gloves up, as I said. JMHO so please don?t yell at me for saying this, but meeting a TG ANYWHERE ultimately yields disappointing results if you hope for anything other that a few months of sanuk...the risk is amplified tenfold if you met her on the web, so be careful.

 

Meet her, have a laugh, indulge, keep in touch and meet up now and then. Keep it fundamentally basic.

[Zorro]

Given her situation if you are indeed contemplating having a relationship with her you will have to have deep pockets.

She is coming from a background that is a poor one and one where she is expected to help out with the family finances. If you actually get into a relationship with her you will be required to provide.

 

If this doesn't worry you and you have plenty of cash to spare go right ahead. First you will have to actually forge a real relationship with her and then you will see what kind of person she really is.

 

If i was you i wouldn't bother. Why load the dice so much against yourself?

[EmperorNeo]

Damn you guys are starting to turn me! lol

Hippie, you could be right, I'd tend to believe more that you are right than wrong.

 

And i agree with the idea that you really have to be there to have such a relationship especially if your girl cant' get a visa so easily like Thai girls. My last girlfriend was in Taipei and her visa was good for 10 years and could come and go as she pleased. I think that was the only saving factor. But if you want a TG then you've got to be there and i mean for months so back in September I thought about this and started doing some things so that i could spend at least 4 months per year in Thailand or anyplace else i wanted so that i'd have a chance to meet the girl in my head. I will either do 2 months at a time or 4 straight months then wait til next year for my return.

 

About money and family obligations. My family started out poor, i mean my entire family...aunts, uncles, cousins everybody. But over the years thru hard work and good luck, most everyone achieved the American dream to one extent or another. But one of my uncles (mothers brother) is loaded. This guy has like 100 million so i understand what it's like to have a rich relative. People goto him from everything from a Toe operation to "I need a new 70 inch Plasma". I think if this is your position in the family then you just have to deal with it in a reasonable fashion. Being a fiancial person for 10 years, i'm sure i can block a financial coup that's taking place against me.

 

I think what i'll try to do for this week is to reverse the role and look at her thru Hippies eyes only. See her as a manipulator and scam artist then see how she looks. Believe me guys, i haven't just fallen for this girl, i am not that stupid. I just met her and see seemed different, so before i started to react in anyway, i thought it would cool to track it's progress here and see what the general input was as it was happening. I have read every reply posted. Some make me laugh hard and some make me say "see, you didn't even think about that one", which is good... I'm glad about the instant interaction that we all have access to and with such diversity.

 

BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT TRYING TO WIND UP ANYONE. I REALLY JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLES REAL OPINIONS ARE.

 

UPDATE: She said she's going to see her son tomorrow. The son is staying with the exhusbands wife while the exhusband is working in Pattaya. After she leaves from the son she will go back to her village near Ubon and stay there for a few weeks. So i'm thinking i'll give her a call in 2 days and see if i can get her to let me speak to her son just to see what happens. If she fails to produce for me then surely i will believe that is has probably hooked up with a sponsor, which to me is ok... i'm sure if that's the deal it was worked out long ago.

 

The next question becomes what would be my true/real reaction. Really i have no idea. I'm only talking to her until i get there in April, if she is still around as a friend then surely this trip will mainly be spent with her. If not, i know many others that will surely be ready and waiting. Not to mention the BG scene so all will be revealed soon. I just want to get to the conclusion. :-)

[Old Hippie]

"...The next question becomes what would be my true/real reaction. Really i have no idea..."

 

My gut feeling is, it isn't a "real relationship" unless you are there. How guys can say "she is my GF" when they only see her a few weeks a year is beyond me... But of course any relationship you have with her, is a "relationship" up to you to determine if real or not...I mean I have a "relationship" with many girls, each has it's own terms...

[chilli13]

Dude congrats on meeting a 'different' TG on chat along with all your thousands of chat relations? around the world?

 

Apart from a few excellent replies like mailuks etc. I will ask you this?

 

Why are you so obsessed with this poor 3rd world girl potential prostitute when there's so many desperate middleclass nice girls without children & other bagage out there especially considering how easy you stated you dated online?