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You have lived to be 71 and know who you are...then along comes someone and blows it all to hell........


An old cowboy sat down at Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.


As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.


She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'


He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'


She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'


The two sat sipping in silence.


A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'


He replied, 'Hell, I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'

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A friend of mine in the parachute regiment has been stationed in Switzerland for the last 2 years.


He has recently married a local girl who can wash up with 1 hand, cook with the other, dust with a foot while sucking his cock as she opens a beer with her arse.


She's a swiss army wife

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Honestly, ater I posted that I thought exactly the same thing but couldn't be arsed changing it thinking that nobody would spot it.


I then went out or a cup o tea in the garden and it occured to me that you would deinitely pick up on it and hey presto. :)

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You mean the letter between 'd' and 'g', i.e.,'f'?


Sorry to hear that, here are some of my f's that you can use until you get your machine fixed.



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