Flashermac Posted June 7, 2012 Report Share Posted June 7, 2012 After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart." Fifteen minutes later at St. Anne de Bellevue, he was still talking loudly. The woman sitting next to him, obviously angered by his nonstop diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice: "Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!" My guess is that Eric doesn't use his phone in public any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted June 7, 2012 Report Share Posted June 7, 2012 After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart." Fifteen minutes later at St. Anne de Bellevue he was still talking loudly. The woman sitting next to him, obviously angered by his nonstop taling, yelled at the top of her voice: "Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!" My guess would be that Eric doesn't use his phone in public any more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted June 11, 2012 Report Share Posted June 11, 2012 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major finds himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There's no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approaches the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looks at his awards and decorations and says: "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, says: "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady says: "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!' She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeds to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leans against his bare chest and says: "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major glances at his watch and says: "I hope not, ma'am. It's only 2130 now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted June 14, 2012 Report Share Posted June 14, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexi Posted June 14, 2012 Report Share Posted June 14, 2012 we have had 3-4 warm sunny days - thats probably our lot for this year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted June 17, 2012 Report Share Posted June 17, 2012 I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a short drive. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not. People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before! I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there. So far, I haven't been in Continent; but my travel agent says I'll be going soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted June 21, 2012 Report Share Posted June 21, 2012 my doctor only allows me 2 drinks a day. now I have 5 doctors ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted July 4, 2012 Report Share Posted July 4, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneSoup Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 On Twitter, I saw a tweet from @BangkokDan: "My new Thai girlfriend said, "A small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship." I still wish she didn't have one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted July 10, 2012 Report Share Posted July 10, 2012 This is for ChocSteve. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtJF3veLzko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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