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Romantic Weekend

A husband and wife go on a romantic weekend to a hotel. Their double room reservation has been messed up and instead they are given an attic room with two single beds which has a raised beam on the floor between the beds which they have to step over to avoid stubbing their toes. When they go to bed the husband switches the light off and after a short silence amorously murmurs to his wife: “How about a bit of nookie then, sweetie?†She agrees and makes her way across the room in the dark but unfortunately stubs her toe on the raised beam. Her husband hears her cry out in pain and promptly comforts her by sweetly cooing: “Oh diddums, did you stub your little tootsie-wootsie? Come and lie in my bed and let me rub it better for you honeykinsâ€.

She gets into bed with him and they spend the next hour having wonderful sex. The wife then gets out of bed and starts to cross the room to return to her bed but accidently stubs her toe on the raised beam again. On hearing her cry out in pain once more her husband snaps back at her: “Jesus! Can’t you watch where you're bloody going woman!"!!!

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A man and his wife go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise'.


The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly, and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.


“Good grief, did you see that?†she asks her husband. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.


“Please sir,†says the waiter, “what you order?â€


The man replies, “Chicken Surpriseâ€.


“Ah! So sorryâ€, says the waiter, " I bring you Peeking Duck!"

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