mainsail Posted August 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Man, you dont know this girl long, and havent even met her if I m right...? No, that's not correct. Here is the sequence of events so far... - When she found in my first email that I could speak some Thai she wrote back that she wanted to meet me. - I wrote back with my phone number. - She called me about 5 minutes later. - We talked on the phone about 6 times while I was out of town of business. - We met for dinner about 2 weeks ago. - Last Tuesday we met to go hiking. We went for a day hike (fairly strenuous, she is a good hiker) - After the hike we hung out by the river for a few hours having a picnic and talking. - She clearly did not want to go home so she followed me back into the city to my sailboat. - We went for a short sail and then went to dinner. - By then it was late so I convinced her it was too late to drive home so we watched the moon come up and got close for the first time. - She slept on the boat with me but in separate cabins. (She wants to take it slow before sex, and I am not going to push this girl). So now it is day two of our time at my house. She is sleeping now. She likes to sleep (I am telling you she is still very Thai...) Yesterday was really great. Far beyond my expectations. I am not going to rush into anything permanent here but we have agreed to not see anyone else for now and see how this goes. We both agreed we were not expecting this and that so far it is pretty terrific. I will update with more tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 You asked the wrong question about if a ex-punter can be faithful. The question is will you? Just look back over your past relationships. If you cheated then, no matter the reason, you have a high probability of cheating in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglesoup Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Man' date=' you dont know this girl long, and havent even met her if I m right...?[/quote'] No, that's not correct. Here is the sequence of events so far... - When she found in my first email that I could speak some Thai she wrote back that she wanted to meet me. - I wrote back with my phone number. - She called me about 5 minutes later. - We talked on the phone about 6 times while I was out of town of business. - We met for dinner about 2 weeks ago. - Last Tuesday we met to go hiking. We went for a day hike (fairly strenuous, she is a good hiker) - After the hike we hung out by the river for a few hours having a picnic and talking. - She clearly did not want to go home so she followed me back into the city to my sailboat. - We went for a short sail and then went to dinner. - By then it was late so I convinced her it was too late to drive home so we watched the moon come up and got close for the first time. - She slept on the boat with me but in separate cabins. (She wants to take it slow before sex, and I am not going to push this girl). So now it is day two of our time at my house. She is sleeping now. She likes to sleep (I am telling you she is still very Thai...) Yesterday was really great. Far beyond my expectations. I am not going to rush into anything permanent here but we have agreed to not see anyone else for now and see how this goes. We both agreed we were not expecting this and that so far it is pretty terrific. I will update with more tomorrow... Sounds good, like you have really clicked. No point in letting a good opportunity slip through your fingers...good luck with it and keep us updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mainsail Posted August 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 You asked the wrong question about if a ex-punter can be faithful. The question is will you? Well of course you are absolutely right. But I know this forum has guys who used to be punters and are now happily married, so I was looking for their experiences. So our 2 day date turned into a 3 day date and was pretty fantastic. The one thing that struck me about her as a contrast to the past 4 years with the Chinese GF was her sense of fun. Sanuk is alive and well and living in Thai people! There is that playfulness that Thai women can have that is really terrific. I forgot how much I missed that and how nice it is to find it in a lady that I connect with on so many levels. So the bottom line is that this is going really well so I need to start asking myself the hard questions. You are right about the cheating issue. I have never had an affair while in a relationship/marriage. I always thought that would be too complicated and involves other people's emotions and is way to messy. I have been guilty of P4P though. Strip clubs in America and BGs in Thailand. It usually happened out of boredom in the relationship or a lack of needs being met and usually around the end of the relationship. So what is different this time? Well I am older for one thing. Passing the 50 mark did change me in some ways. Also I found myself looking for something that was missing for me. I found some real magic with Thai women in the past and that is one reason I think I could be faithful to this one. She has all those qualities that I find so appealing about Thai women. There is also the advantage that she is already here so I don't have to worry about Visas and cultural assimilation and separation from her family and all of the things to consider with marrying a woman in-country and bringing her home. Thanks for all the input guys. This is a lot cheaper than going to therapy! And a therapist would not understand half of this situation the way you guys do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Does life have to be Black and White, shades of grey don't count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mainsail Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Please elaborate on the shade of grey you are describing?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mainsail Posted August 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 A small update. She removed her profile from match.com today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I don't think it's normal for all people to be faithful, women more so than men, but it's not something all men want/need. Sure it works for some people. Great and good for them, but it's not a black and white issue, you don't HAVE to be faithful, nor does she, IF that's what makes people happy. All sorts of odd marriages in the world, many not black and white, i.e. faithful or not. How about flirting, is that faithful? How about masturbating? Is that not being faithful? How about looking at porn? Is that not being faithful? I know people who would say all three are unfaithful!!!!!!! Some wives may say two, some one, some none. Your asking a subjective question with the definition of faithful undefined, how can you expect a black and white yes or no answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
japio1 Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 Was she married in the US to a thai or american citizen, or was she married in Thailand to a thai or foreigner? Take it slowly and get to really know her before committing to anything major. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglesoup Posted August 10, 2007 Report Share Posted August 10, 2007 I don't think it's normal for all people to be faithful, women more so than men, but it's not something all men want/need. Sure it works for some people. Great and good for them, but it's not a black and white issue, you don't HAVE to be faithful, nor does she, IF that's what makes people happy. All sorts of odd marriages in the world, many not black and white, i.e. faithful or not. How about flirting, is that faithful? How about masturbating? Is that not being faithful? How about looking at porn? Is that not being faithful? I know people who would say all three are unfaithful!!!!!!! Some wives may say two, some one, some none. Your asking a subjective question with the definition of faithful undefined, how can you expect a black and white yes or no answer? Very philosophical... :thumbup: But good points all the same... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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