GTG in Farangland

[expat]

It seems like this woman may be a keeper. If I were you I wouldn't lie about my past in any way. In my opinion, if she really is right for you, she will accept your past as it is. You seem like a good person, so I don't think it's necessary to fake anything.

 

If she can't accept a former punter in her life, fine, but most likely she'll just end up with someone who is a liar or a eunuch.

 

I'm not saying have a big talk with her or anything, but what I am saying is be completely honest about everything about yourself--then if she accepts you it will be clear that she really cares about *you*, not some story you have concocted. In addition, you won't have be constantly vigilant against her finding out about your lies and/or hidden truths.

 

If you don't tell her the truth, you'll never know if she would have accepted you as you really are--i.e. you might end up in the situation of lying about something which is not important to her. What a waste.

 

Anyhoots, just my two cents.

[Encore]

Agreed with expat. Don't volunteer explicit stories about your past whoremongering in LOS, but if asked, don't denie, just offer minimal detail, no more then asked for.

If this is the lady you want to stay with, you don't want to hide anything, but avoid disclosing detail she doesn' ask for

 

If she can't accept your past, she's not the one for you.

vice Versa.

 

Good luck!

[Goodthaigirl]

Seems she's a keeper.

 

Please don't lie to her about your past. She will find out soon enough if you lie. She's not stupid.

 

If you find out why she got a divorce, you might learn somthing about her. Of course, you only hear only from her side. But it is still good to know a bit of her charactor any way.

 

Go slow, ok?

 

Take care,

 

GTG

[mainsail]

Here is an update.

 

We have been together for for about 7 weeks now. A lot has happened. Things are going extremely well between us. I have no complaints about any of the normal relationship items. She really is a wonderful woman and I am lucky to be with her. We are now both very much in love and things a progressing.

 

OK now for the interesting stuff. So I was trying to figure the best way to introduce the issue of a prenuptial agreement. I have a lot of assets and my own business and have been through a divorce before and don't want the possibility of repeating the pain. Before I could bring up the subject, she told me there was something she had to tell me. It turns out that she is quite wealthy. She wanted to see if my love was true and that I loved her for who she was before she told me that. I seemed to have passed the test. Most of her investments are in property in Thailand and in stocks. Her older Brother manages her accounts and property in Thailand. As her Father died a long time ago her brother looks out for her best interests. So she wants me to sign a prenup! We will have a mutual prenup that protects both parties.

 

Right now she is preparing to go back home later this week. She does not want me to go on this trip because she wants to talk to her Brother first. It appears that her Brother has veto power over who she marries. She wants to lay the groundwork before I go to Thailand.

 

In our early time together we discussed the fact that we were both open to having a child together. Well, guess what, she is pregnant! So this obviously makes everything more complicated. The good news is that I was very confident about being with her before this happened, so I do not feel trapped or uncomfortable about the situation. In fact I am fine with it. My only regret is that I will not get a chance to spend very much time with her alone before we are a family. But that is the situation and I accept it. So the other reason she is going home is see a Thai doctor.

 

I am good with everything, but there are a couple of small things that are making me uncomfortable. First, I am a little uncomfortable that she does not want me to go with her to Thailand. Second, I am very uncomfortable about being scrutinized by her Brother. I don't have anything to hide, I just don't like the process. I am a private person and I don't like to be evaluated by someone I have never met. Lastly, I am uncomfortable that she is asking me for money. She asked me to buy her plane ticket, to pay her condo mortgage for a month while she is gone and to give her $1K in spending money. She does not make a lot of money here, she is a hair stylist. Her investments in Thailand do not provide her with income yet, the plan is for that to happen in 10 years from now when she is 55. So she does not have a lot of cash. Also, I think this is a bit of a test as she would like me to support us for the first few years with the baby. Then she will work again.

 

She has been very honest with me about her past marriage, her friends and about her family in Thailand. I really do not feel I am being scammed here in any way however I do have my radar up. Certainly in our prenup both parties will have to prove evidence of all of our assets.

 

So that's it for now. I will post another update soon.

 

[mainsail]

One more comment. I finally figured something out. With my previous Chinese GF and others before, I was always hesitant to take them to Thailand for a holiday. I always thought I would have a wondering eye while there. It is only with a beautiful Thai woman can I visit Thailand and not feel that I am missing something!

[OCgringo]

As I read this she is 45 years old now , and will not get any money for 10 years .

 

I quess a warning flag needs to go up on this ,

that there are actually investments , that her brother is taking care of them properly, and that they are in her name too.

 

Just seems weird that she is "rich" but living in the USA as a "poor" hair stylist.

 

lots of questions I know

 

OC

[shygye]

7 weeks is too short a time. You are still in the gah-gah stage of the relationship. Can you write a list of 10 things you dislike about her?

 

She has now laid down the law that you will pay for everything from now on. I wonder if she has medical insurance? Personally, I would get a paternity test before signing the birth certificate. I am in the trust but verify brigade.

[bust]

Sorry mainsail but

Somehow it just doesn't seem to fit. If she is as wealthy as she claims why is she asking for financial assistance from you? I thought she claimed to be very independent which to me would have a face value as well. Just my gut feeling but hey....anything is possible. Just be cautious.

[Torneyboy]

Yes that is a good point :thumbup:

[mainsail]

This is why I posted this. I appreciate the feedback. Yes, trust but verify. I am in the same mode. A prenup and a paternity test both seem like good ideas to me.

 

We had a talk about the money last night. It seems this is the system she had with her ex. She made her own spending money but when she went home once a year or every two years her ex bought her plane ticket and gave her spending money. Sometimes he went with her and sometimes he did not.