GTG in Farangland

[mainsail]

I also had the red flags. That is why I posted. One more piece of the puzzle for you... she is giving me her condo up front. She is doing that because her investments are not available to us for 10 years as I mentioned. So as a show of good faith she is giving me the condo and there is about $100K of equity in it right now.

[Faustian]

I presume you have evidence of the pregnancy? Evidence of her 'investments' in Thailand? It would be odd indeed if she was to do a runner with such a small amount of money, unless she has saved a packet already and you are supplying the escape route. What kind of accomodation does she live in currently? How much are you to pay? I worry that a lot of this sounds staged and you are i the early days of a relationship....but then again, i'm very cynical.

 

All of her story sounds plausible, but don't they always? Is the pre-nup to be finalised prior to her departure to Thailand?

 

Please keep us updated! Get more info...definate info.

[shygye]

She is giving you the privilege of paying her variable rate mortgage whose payments are probably doubling. Does she owe condo fees or taxes? Do a title search etc. on the property because she may have other loans on the property.

 

I hope I am just overly suspicious but this just doesn't make any sense to me. This usually means there is something else going on and is hidden from you. What Thai investments take 10 years before you get a return? Maybe it will take 20, 30 or 40 years. Maybe you will be asked to invest!

 

Perhaps a board member can recommend a Thai lawyer to research her "investments" in Thailand.

[mainsail]

No, the prenup won't happen until after she returns. No real need for that until we get closer to getting married. No date yet. Probably around Christmas. No real exposure for me at this point, except the plane ticket and spending money. I am sending an outline of the prenup with her to show her Brother. She has not actually given me the condo yet, this is all in the talking stage still, but the plan is that it will be a joint asset if we get married. I will in fact do a title search, but it is a fixed rate mortgage at 5.5%, she showed it to me. Sure there are condo fees like any condo. It is a very nice condo, I am sitting in it right now while she is at work. It is well constructed in a good development and a good location. I plan to rent it out when she moves in with me probably in December or January. She will pay the mortgage again when she returns and goes back to work. I am picking up one month while she is gone. The mortgage is about $750.

 

The pregnancy evidence is 3 home tests we did together which all showed positive. I bought them myself and witnessed the test. Plus a missed period. Plus lots of symptoms of pregnancy. The doctor visit is next.

 

It is necessary to show evidence of assets in a prenup so that will happen at that time. Yes, a lawyer or a PI to investigate all of the Thailand claims is a good idea.

 

If she does a runner at this point I am only out the plane ticket and spending money (which I have not given her yet). Not a big risk IMO. I don't have to pay the condo mortgage if I don't really want to. That is her risk more than mine.

 

Her primary investment is a 20 unit townhouse building in BKK. Most of her other investments were converted to get into this one. The investment is fairly new so the mortgage is high and all of the rental income is going to pay the mortgage. The return won't come until the mortgage is paid down (10 years) or until she sells. She also owns a large piece of undeveloped land in Chang Mai left to her by her Father and a large piece in Issan. Her family is from BKK but her Father bought and sold livestock and took trade in land for livestock several times to pass on to his children. She is not asking for any financial investment from me whatsoever. Nor would I do that. (That would be an obvious scam). I am not planning any involvement or benefit from her Thai investments. If there is gravy from that later that will be great, but I am not planning on it or asking for any participation.

 

Her main motivation in giving me (us) the condo is because she controls this asset and her Brother has control over the Thai investments. So she is putting the condo on the table as the immediate asset she can contribute to our union. She is not asking for this to be included in the prenup but to be shared by us. She has a large family and she and her Brother periodically help them out. She is not asking for any assistance from me and plans to use her Thai investments for that purpose along with providing her own retirement. How often do you find a Thai woman who takes care of her own family and does not ask for help? There is no sin sot required if we get married and no financial assistance from me asked for except our own expenses here in Farangland. I already own my own house (no mortgage) so the additional expense of her and a child are not too significant for me. She lives modestly and does not have expensive habits or shopping behavior.

 

I know this all sounds pretty wild and it does to me too. It has been quite a ride. But my actual risk here so far is pretty small. I could still just walk away from all of this, but I don't want to. This woman is quite a catch even without any assets. I could cancel the plane ticket and walk away right now and not be out a cent.

 

Thanks for watching my back.

[migrant]

Just joined and found this interesting thread.

 

Somewhat similar I met a GTG from Thailand here 3 years ago while she was working in a restaurant.

 

We've been together since (although it took 8 months to get to the 'together' stage).

 

She earns her own money (2 jobs) and also goes to school, owns property in Thailand and is very self sufficient since her Thai hubby died here 6 years ago.

 

She has been here 10 years, but still very Thai, and a 16 year difference between her and me.

 

OK enough background.

 

My 2 baht,

 

You do seem to have moved fast especially with a pregnancy upcoming, but you have been around the block so you know the good/bad.

 

When my lady was going back to Thailand to visit (first time in 8 years) after we had gotten together, she commented how she wished I could go with her.

 

I told her I could go, but she needed to get OK from her Mom (who lives here in California).

 

Her Mom gave permission (I assume she explained how we were now together, in love, etc)

 

But in Thailand she was very careful, Dad is still alive and to boot he's a ex-cop (still has guns ) so seperate bedrooms were definately the course.

 

Her brothers were cool about it, so same room was fine when we visited them.

 

Second trip (last month) it was all 1 bedroom, so obviously the time has shown committment.

 

Oh, on both trips all family was really great, and no hit ups for money, etc.

 

OK, again my 2 baht

 

The not wanting you to go can simply be she wants to take time to ease into your relationship with her brother. Was her ex a Falang, or Thai?

 

Asking you to pay though is more suspicious to me. My lady definately pays for most her items, and never asks me to pay (and she makes little money in her waitress jobs).

 

My girl always calls her land in Thailand 'our land' but has never asked me to reciprocate with the house I own that we live in.

 

I also own a business so prenups have been discussed, and dismissed by her with a 'Of course I'll sign, it's not my business'

 

The fact that she will sign one is definately a plus for her.

 

Like all say, try to keep it slow (but the baby won't wait).

 

Good Luck!

[mainsail]

Hi Migrant, Welcome to the board and thanks for your post. Yes, you are right about this trip, she wants to deal with her Brother on her own first. Her ex is a Farang. Her Brother is most interested in someone not ripping off his sister. During her divorce her ex tried to get half of everything she owned in Thailand but was not successful.

 

She has offered to put her condo into our joint ownership but has also agreed to keep my house off the table. That seems like a show of good faith to me.

 

I think the cash for her trip is really a spill over from her marriage and old habits.

 

[mainsail]

Personally, I would get a paternity test before signing the birth certificate. I am in the trust but verify brigade.

 

I have been thinking about this. She had 1 period since we were together. So she could not have become pregnant by someone before we met. We have spent so much time together it would be almost impossible for this to be some else's baby.

[shygye]

A child is such a HUGE emotional and financial commitment for the rest of your life, get the paternity test.

 

So much of the story, thus far, does not make any sense to me. She wants a prenup to protect her assets but will sign over her condo that nets 3.5 million baht. She lives modestly and does not have expensive habits or shopping behavior. But she needs you to pay for the ticket, mortgage, AND spending money. She has all this land and property BUT the brother has control.

 

You can't walk away now that a child is in the mix!

[Faustian]

It sounds better with further explanation...i say goodluck to you MS...yes, we are a suspicious bunch, but this sounds all good...my only worry now is the age of your lady and her being pregnant! She's no spring chicken...lots of potential health issues....also she got pregnant bloody fast! Unusual bearing in mind your ages...maybe she's been a little irresponsible in this too...but who am i to judge? Good luck.

[migrant]

The idea of asking for the money has my thoughts mixed.

 

One asks why?

 

The other has me thinking of my relationship. My lady has asked to 'borrow' money before, which she always remembers, and repays (sometimes I let her, others not).

 

My Thai lady is a very cautious spender, she always pays all hr bills the day she receives them.

 

Does your lady have cash reserves that she could have used?

 

So the other reason she is going home is see a Thai doctor.

 

Not sure where you live, but lots of Thai doctors scattered around the US.

 

She does sound great, I know after 3 years we have never even argued and both agree it's the happiest time of our lives