Another Sin Sot debate...

[Weird]

And I guess Wedding Rings are in the same corner as Sinsot?

 

Did you, or will you, refuse to get your wife a wedding ring because that will be buying her?

 

I know at my work place there are women there who won't settle for anything less then a $20k engagement ring.

[Hugh_Hoy]

I know at my work place there are women there who won't settle for anything less then a $20k engagement ring.

 

And most of em will probably be single when their "sell by" date comes up.

 

HH

[Old Hippie]

And I guess Wedding Rings are in the same corner as Sinsot?

 

Did you, or will you, refuse to get your wife a wedding ring because that will be buying her?

 

I know at my work place there are women there who won't settle for anything less then a $20k engagement ring.

 

 

I have been told by many Thais, that wedding rings are a farang thing that is creeping into Thailand. For myself, I do not believe in them either. First wife got her maternal grandmother's ring, second wife asked for one as a birthday present, I never wore one.

 

But the point may have been missed here, it is not the gesture/amount so much as it is often used as "blackmail." Take the women you know demanding $20K rings, and refusing to marry a guy unless he forks out for one, same thing isn't it? wouldn't you run some such a woman? or never bother with her in the first place? So you should if/when Sin Sot is used the same way. Issue me an ultimatum, and I am most likely going to walk away.

 

Any bitch demanding anything to marry her is unacceptable, and should be met with a strong pimp hand.

[Torneyboy]

They may be waiting a long time

[tomc12]

I think Sin Sot really depends on your perspective. If you view it as some type of blackmail, then it will always be a sore point for you if you get married. If you view it as more of a face issue, then it doesn't become a thorn in your side.

 

I remember discussing it with my wife before we got married. She tried to explain it to me by saying her "parents were old school-they have old brain". But being a falang, it kind of seemed like I was buying a wife. So I was teasing her about it, not realizing it was a sore spot for her. She got mad and said "okay, I will pay it!". That brought me up short-my wife had carefully saved her money over the years; it was a source of pride and security for her and she was willing to use it all just for her mother's "face" and so I wouldn't feel like I was buying her. I felt it was dumb to be having this problem with Sin Sot; it was obviously something very important to my wife for her mother so I told her I would pay it. Some of the money was used to pay for our wedding, some used to pay for her mother's gift to us, and some was returned to us. Without the Sin Sot, her mother couldn't have afforded the kind of wedding we had.

 

So, was Sin Sot a "face" issue, blackmail, or an economic necessity? I don't know and I don't care; if you love her, don't get hung up on it.

[CTO]

I think Weirds arguement is the "Tradition" of weedding rings "A months salary" I think the add goes, is similar to Sin Sot.

 

I agree, and agree to both Note I never paid Sin Sot but would have if I had know I was gettinbg married at the time

[Old Hippie]

I know a girl (School teacher) who did exactly what your wife did, which is ok I suppose. BUT If it is presented to you as "...Pay XYZ amount, or I will not marry you..." then what? If your wife had told you "...1 million bht, non negotiable, pay it or we cannot marry..." Then how would you feel and what would you do?

 

See, I have been told by many that they never had to pay, others insist "...you cannot marry a Thai girl UNLESS you pay..." This to me puts a whole nother perspective on it than simply "culture."

[CTO]

Funny, right now my neice is being pursued, to turn of the poor lad, she's asked for 500 000 baht, other wise he has to wait till she's finished school, Uni, and then got a good job,

 

The price is not serious, just a value we know he can't afford, hence a "Face" saving device rather than saying no.

 

OH - If someone was marrying a girl who's thinking was along the lines of pay xyz bank account or it's "No", I would suspect he'd already KNOW what type of girl she is, just doesn't want to recognise it.

[Old Hippie]

"...OH - If someone was marrying a girl who's thinking was along the lines of pay xyz bank account or it's "No", I would suspect he'd already KNOW what type of girl she is, just doesn't want to recognise it..."

 

 

You are maybe/most likely right, but, I have heard of Sin Sot being sprung at the last minute, and the guy being stunned at how hard she now fought for her price...

[Mekong]

 

So, was Sin Sot a "face" issue, blackmail, or an economic necessity? I don't know and I don't care; if you love her, don't get hung up on it.

 

Here here, well said sir, probably one of the wisest remarks I have read on this board in a long time.