Guest Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 "I recall seeing a few women a few years ago in our office suddenly pregnant at 28, 29, 30. " man - that is the sort of shit that scares me in LOS I always wear a dom - except for those few times I've been drunk, too horny, plain rash. But as warped as it sounds, I am far more scared of going bareback in London because of the fear of a woman trying to get herself knocked up (english phrase for pregnant) "Some states even have it where ANY woman who states a man is the father will have to pay until he can prove otherwise. In other words the onus is on him. " i think that is fair enough, but if the woman is found to be talking BS, then she should be made to repay the cash + compensation "Or if he is lied to and is paying child support, and later finds out its not him he still has to pay!" thats just ludicrous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Sorry Hansum_guy, he doesn't get his money back if its proven its not him. Also, HE must pay for the DNA test. She can litterally name anyone whomsoever. In theory she can name the bloddy President and he'd have to pay. This is all done 'in the best interest of the child'. The state has deemed 'someone' has to pay because its the child's welfare at stake. If she has proved she falsely accused someone she is not prosecuted. In theory perhaps she can but in practice it NEVER happens. Also payment is based on his ability to pay not the lifestyle the child is accustomed to. For instance lets she w/out him around the woman and the child are living a working or middle class existence. If the father is Bill Gates, she can be awarded hundred's of thousands, if not millions a month. So if she's been living on 3,000 pounds a month (i'll use english money), Gates if he's the father should provide 3,000 pounds a month to maintain their lifestyle, right? Wrong. Its whatever he can afford. I'm the same as you. I am more worried about a baby in the states than I am a baby in LOS. I will say though in somewhat of a defense of the women in the office that got pregnant, some said they are not asking the father for support as they just think a man will complicate their lives. He can if he wishes but they don't want have to deal with visititation rights IMO. Plus most of these guys are not in their socio-economic status. PS: we use knocked up here too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 in LOS I always wear a dom - except for those few times I've been drunk, too horny, plain rash. But as warped as it sounds, I am far more scared of going bareback in London because of the fear of a woman trying to get herself knocked up (english phrase for pregnant) ----------------------------------------------- Another good subject for a poll. If your drunken night resulted in TG to be pregnant, would you consider it your problem, a liitle bit at least? Like wanting to pay for the abortion? Or checking DNA after birth? I know many do not stay long enough to find out, but since we all come back to the place, she could tell you on your next trip. Going to the polls with that one.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 You see them day in day out, being in my late 20's I see this process in operation and as they approach 30 the pace speeds up. The corporate rat race is a grotesque place to be, however young western women throw themselves in to the mire with such zeal. It takes them longer to wake up and smell the coffee. Corporations use you and spit you out. Why a woman would choose that over the pleasure of rearing a child I dont know. STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 I imagine Chocolate Steve, That not many guys in America want to get married. Some men though are so happy to be in a relationship that they marry the first girl who likes them back. Those guys aside, most guys now are asking themselves why get married, whats the point, that nice 20 something girl is going to a chubby whinger in 10 yrs time. I couldnt believe that a man would have to pay support to a woman, if he dated them and she had a child from a previous relationship, thats outragous. So if A dated B and B had a child from C and A subsequently left B A would have to pay child support to B for C, ridiculous. STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 Par of the problem in my opinion is the women's movement from the '70s. It told women either they could have it all or some of the women in the movement seemed 'anti family'. Seemed against a woman being a traditional housewife. It still gets derided as a waste of life by some in the movement. Equal pay, equal work. I'm always for that. But the movement, like a lot of movements that starts off with good intentions and morally right, it goes off track and morphs into something else. The paternity and child support laws in states such as California, Washington and others are really way off and unfair IMO. I'll give you another scenario. You could be dating A she has been cheating on you with B, your best friend. A gets pregnant. You think its your obviously and is named on the birth certificate. You break up but pay child support like a good person. You subsequently find out the baby is not yours and its your best friend's B. You could take a DNA test, prove its not yours and still be paying child support! It happened in a court case and I heard the guy on a talk radio show. The court said he was named on the birth certificate. Had been paying and in the eyes of the law had established himself with paternity willingly. Also, I think he had established a relationship with the baby (he had visitation rights) and it would be 'emotionally unsettling' for the child. All the while you are paying a woman who cheated on you with your best friend child support! If it were me, I'm not sure what I would do but LOS sounds a great place to be for a while. I'm all for taking care of my responsibility when its mine but this one would put me in 'nutter' category. The courts are making some outrageous and outlandish decisions nowadays with regards to paternity and child support all in the 'best interest of the child' of course. If I had a child in LOS as Pattaya127 suggested, I would own up to my responsiblities. Not trying to sound gallant but for selfish reasons. If there is going to be a child bearing name, I'd like some say in his upbringing. I may even try to raise him myself. Going back to the women having children before its too late to have them. The problem with that is men don't want women with children normally. So they are at a disadvantage when competing with women with no children. Also, its harder for women in their 30s to get rid of the weight they pick up after a baby and I find most get way overweight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 spirit_of_town_hall >Why a woman would choose that over the pleasure of rearing a child I dont know. Try reaing a child and being a 'home maker' yourself maybe you will know why. Not that I have done that myself but.....you get the point, right? GTG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 It has to be preferrable to being some up tight administrator or PA . Surely GTG, rearing a child, being there when your own flesh and blood utters their first words are more important then attending to petty HR concerns. I think most men would rather have a warm sensual home maker, who had no hang ups over sex, but was as thick as two planks than a neorotic, up tight career girl with a degree. STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodthaigirl Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 spirit_of_town_hall Sorry, still you haven't answered my question. Why don't YOU do that yourself if it is as good as you discribe? GTG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 Not to get inbetween you and Spirit's tete a tete but personally I think child rearing or frankly being a parent is the most important job on earth above all things. You are responsible for rearing a human being. You have the most influence on whether that person will contribute positively or negatively to the human race. Yes, it sounds melodramatic but its true. I have a lot of respect for parents and parenting. That being said. Its not something I would enter in lightly. Optimally, what a couple should do is discuss their views on child rearing BEFORE they have a child. Some people or cultures scold children verbally, some scold verbally and physically (I wish my parents had done the former--smile--). Some men are comfortable helping a lot (changing diapers, feedings at 2 am, etc.) some are not. I don't think either is necessarily bad or good, if both parties agree on it. Its when they don't that's the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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