think_too_mut Posted July 8, 2002 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 >From the way I read his statement It appears that the young lady cannot go out after 9pm. True. If that has to happen she tells me well in advance. About last Saturday's birthday of her friend, I knew 3 weeks ago. She was back 20 past midnight (her self set time to be back was 12:30-1am). >I find that the "in the room at a certain time criteria" seems a little too restrictive. Are you dealing with an adult woman or are you dealing with a child? That criteria played a role at early stages. Not much any more. Luckilly, she had no other family members working bars. Coupled with her living alone, the "home at night" had been designed to help rid her of bg friends. As I said in another post, today's been 47 straight days that she had no phone or personal contact with anyone from the scene. Her daily school activities and stay at home at night have alienated her from the lifestyle she used to conduct and naturally, she is with fewer but different bunch of friends. Now, if she tells me she's going somewhere at night, I would trust her but I am not going to encourage her in that direction. >That is the problem with patrons at times, they sometimes are too controlling and use their financial leverage in well meaning but unjust ways. I am sure TTM that your intentions are good but do you seriously think that if she didn' meet the ime constraints once it would be fair for you to "stop the show" without seeking a reason? There is no school related reason for her not to be at home by 6:30pm. After that, large cinema, restaurants and shopping complex are 5 minutes walk from her home. There she meets her friends and goes to the movies. >It is nice to hear that you are making a positive contribution to a person's life that you care deeply about but your statement paints the picture that you are a kind and benevolent warden instead of a boyfriend. I hope that this approach doesn't backfire on you one day. Let's face the real question - when may a recovering alcoholic drink again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 In reply to: GTG wrote: >Do you think your time in America has affected your attitude? I din't tell that I went to America. Just one of the Western countries that's all I can tell. >Do you think that your attitude now is typically Thai? What is typical anyway? All my female friends work eventhough some of them can live happily without having to work. >If you have adopted any western attitudes, how do you feel these have affected your life here in Thailand? I don't think being a working Thai women is a Western attitude. It's a economic force I think, ( for a middle classe family one income is not enough)as well as a choice for women (wants to put into use her knowledge gain from her study). Hmmm, not a single answer. Interesting game you play, GTG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 In reply to: GTG wrote: >And GTG may very well have a personal issue as well. After all, if it weren't for her father's escaping the poor Isaan village, she herself might be one of those whom she scorns. I don?t think so. My parents wouldn?t sell me judging from their characters. Not ALL Thai parents are greedy, you know. I did not say your parents would sell you. What I implied is that even if you were born with identical genetic make-up, but grew up in a poor Isaan village, it is quite likely your hardships would not evolve around almost having to leave school or getting a Master's degree overseas. And you might make the same career choice as thousands other poor Isaan girls who I don't believe are less virtuous or less intelligent than you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 GTG: "The point is we should be able to say ?I?m Thai? and be proud of it. Sadly, sometimes I feel the opposite." Can you explain why? It's not a trick question. I can make an assumption, but it would really be interesting to hear a first-hand explanation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 TTM: "Let's face the real question - when may a recovering alcoholic drink again?" You've got it! I've gotta have been through it to understand. And BG addiction is a version of the same, I agree. I also agree with jjsushi, it's a lot easier if the BG wants out and has a plan, and all she needs is a few tools to help her make it. In any case, a threat of pulling the support may actually keep the girl from falling. It's just a matter of balancing the stick/carrot thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 GTG, I agree with you that being a working Thai woman is not a Western Attitude. in fact it is quite the opposite. In my experience their are more women working in public and private offices in Thailand than in most european countries. The women I deal with at Government level and with larger companies are usually much better and ective than their male colleagues. Many of the men go in the office early, give some directions and sign some documents, and then its off to the golf course or whatever. Married Thai women that have the chance to climb the government or corporate ladder are actually in a better position to do so than in Europe. The reason for this as I see it is the availability of maids to look after the kids. In Europe when a couple has kids it is usually the mother who ends up sacrificing her career, at least for a few years. But after those few years it is very difficult for her to catch up with her male colleagues. In Thailand, the mother can have her 3 months maternity leave and then go back to work, with the maid at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted July 8, 2002 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 >Hmmm, not a single answer. Interesting game you play 20 or so years ago I got a "speech generator" sheet, compiled by students of the UCLA. By shuffling phrases around, one could compile a 2 hour long speech by talking absolute b*******. However, at a first glance, it all looked worth quoting. Great stuff for parties where several people generate their 5 minutes presentations and pretend to be serious while debating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 In Thailand, the mother can have her 3 months maternity leave and then go back to work, with the maid at home. ---------------------- I am wondering if the fact that none of the parents are really spending too much time raising themselves their kids, may explain why drugs, alcohol abuse, and pure materialism have been on the rise in thai society? I do share your opinion that thai women in the educated work place are a great asset for the future of Thailand. So i guess it's a conundrum to raise one's kids and have a full career too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 Agree with you in that it is important that one or both parents are actively involved in raising kids during the first few years (untill they go to kindergarden). Not doing so (leaving it to the maid) may have a negative effect later in life. In our case, my wife decided to take it easy for a few years. Was not to difficult for her as she owns the business. For women that on salary and like to advance it will be a difficult choice to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 8, 2002 Report Share Posted July 8, 2002 GTG, i wish you had more discerning. If her patronizing was just a comment, why don't you TGs ashamed/afraid of saying "i am thai" then take it as a comment on Thailand (wrong or right) when people jump to conclusions about what it mean to be a woman from Thailand? Why should you be offended to be viewed as easy girls and me not offended to have someone allude to easy sex in Thailand when I am meeting them to talk about thai culture and thai politics, as such was the case? Don'y be argumentaytive again, think abouit it and tell me if it is not the same, but in reverse? Why should we care to understand that middle class young thai women are afraid of say "I am thai"? It's your problem. for me I am not afraid to say i love and go to Thailand to anyone, and i don't hide it, on the contrary. When i think about thailand's problems, the perception that the middle-class women fear the outside world have of themselves is the least of them. So, yes, why should you be afraid to say it, because some imbeciles may react the wrong way? The others will have an interest in you correcting their prejudices, if they have any. maybe this fear comes from really thinking yourself that thai women have nothing to offer the world but cheap sex.And if they don't offer that, well no interest in being or saying you're from thailand. Shall i gather by your last remark that there's very little incentive for us to meet and possibly become friends? Good move, GTG? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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