check_bin_krap Posted May 25, 2003 Report Share Posted May 25, 2003 "Though the fact the age gap seems to close when the economic status of the couple is the same, in Western countries or among many of the upper class in developing countries, also says something about the likelihood of such high age gap marriages being only for non-financial reasons on both sides. It seems to say the age gap starts to disappear when money is not a factor." ............................................................. I find the age gap a very interesting subject. Because I am with a girl 20 years younger than me, Asian but not Thai. I think its correct that its not like that here in an European country. When I ask my girl about the gap? She tells me that she does not want a guy who runs after other girls, she wants security. In western societies single mums have a support system, its not so in Thailand. Its not just about money, its about knowing that the guy will stay. We old dudes don't have that lust for new flesh anymore. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABCinBK Posted May 25, 2003 Report Share Posted May 25, 2003 Check Bin, I've seen this reasoning among many Asian women too. There is often the perception that older men are more likely to stay. However, like you said, a lot of it has to do with support and the fact that in Asia single women don't have welfare, child support laws, or divorce laws that give them more freedom to look more at the "non financial" and "non (financial) support" aspects of a perspective mate. If you look at the two most recent posts I made on this thread (just before this post), I think I addressed a lot of this in the post which you did not reply to. It is understandable why a lot of Asian women, Thai women, and especially Thai bargirls would be looking at money for long term or marriage partners. But I'm just saying that is a major motivation for the age discrepancies. ABC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 26, 2003 Report Share Posted May 26, 2003 The question here is what happens if their motivations were suddenly re-shifted to consider only looks, personality, and common interests, with no concern or relatively less concern for the financial factors? ----------------------------------------- as you say, it's part of their upbringing to have material considerations as far as who they mate with, so these matters are never re-considered. Now, some asian americans are very free-minded, but then, they are also intelligent persons, possibly sensitive, and I don't think that looks, money or age matter a lot to them, more like "I love who i want to love, I don't care what other people say". Anyway, your points are not contradicting with mine (except there are some real bubblicious asian cuties in SF, try the summer street fairs! Ouh lala!), I very simply say that look and age do not matter as much, for whatever reasons, financial, personality, upbringing, etc.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hidy Ho Posted May 26, 2003 Report Share Posted May 26, 2003 Says jjsushi: Says Jazz: yes, but their idea of handsome is different from ours and even farang women. [color:"blue"] Can you elaborate on this? My initial reaction is that I disagree as I've seen plenty of young girls go crazy over MTV boy bands and my friend they call "David Beckham". [/color] ...Go figure. Different strokes for different folks. ... [color:"blue"] This I can agree with - "different strokes for different folks" - rather than a generalization that I inferred from the previous posting by another poster. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABCinBK Posted May 26, 2003 Report Share Posted May 26, 2003 Pattaya, "as you say, it's part of their upbringing to have material considerations as far as who they mate with, so these matters are never re-considered." It is not just culture, but also economic factors. When and if the need for "financial support" disappears, some will lose their "attraction" to many of their older "boyfriends". Reactions would vary by each woman, depending on her influence to her "upbringing", when her economic situation changes. Some will continue to be "attracted" due to greed, but others will act on the common interests and pleasantness a guy provides to her eyes. How many stories have we heard of supposed ex-BGs leaving older farang husbands to return to Thailand, and either reunite or find new younger Thai boyfriends/husbands. Some women, when the need to foresake looks/age for money disappears (i.e. when she has more money), simply chose to no longer ignore looks, age, and culture as things they seek in a partner. "Now, some asian americans are very free-minded..." Some farangs are also very free minded. As are some Thais. The question is how the majority of Asian Americans react to marriages with high age disparity. It's a fact that the age disparity found in the marriages and dating patterns of Asian Americans have gotten smaller, as the number of generations from the immigrant forefather/foremother has increased. This would seem to counter a situation in which the majority of Asian American women are dating men substantially older than them (i.e. 15 years or greater). There will always be exceptions, some due to individual "open mindedness" and others due to personal financial situations. "....but then, they are also intelligent persons, possibly sensitive, and I don't think that looks, money or age matter a lot to them, more like "I love who i want to love, I don't care what other people say"." I certainly hope you are talking about "some" of the Asian Americans, as before. Having been born and lived as an ABC, my experience has been that Asians are more prone to conform, care what their parents think, that financial properity is ingrained in the culture, as is family reputation, and the concept of face (not the Thai concept in particular). If we are talking once again about "some" of the Asian Americans, that is reasonable. However, it seems that the more Westernized Asians become, the more they are prone to Western views on the age gap, generally speaking. And in the West the age gap tends to be much less than those found in Asia and/or among farang/Thai BG (ex-BG) couples. "Anyway, your points are not contradicting with mine (except there are some real bubblicious asian cuties in SF, try the summer street fairs! Ouh lala!), I very simply say that look and age do not matter as much, for whatever reasons, financial, personality, upbringing, etc...." Our ideas are not totally opposites, but they are hardly similar. Age and looks, if taken as seperate factors from money and financial motivations, do matter. That is my idea. As for personality, certainly a particular individual's personality can win a younger girl to marry an older guy. It can also convince an attractive girl to be with a less attractive guy. But as mentioned previously, personality isn't a distinct advantage of older men or less attractive men. Age can improve peronality as well as corrupt it, and youth can lend to personality or cause a lack of it. It is when someone choses to overlook or place looks/age as inferior to financial motivations or money, that it appears they are attracted to older men or those less physically attractive. For various financial reasons (inclusive of a "providing man", financial security, etc.) age and looks may matter much less. But this does not mean the bargirls love older or less attractive men, or that they prefer them. It just shows they prefer money or its various forms more, and that they are willing to overlook other shortcomings in their ideal man in order to obtain that money and financial security. I'm sure there are attractive women in SFO. I was pointing out, that in my opinion, they were not all over the place. Women seem to be more attractive, generally speaking, from my observations, in the LA area. But to try to say there is any way to measure this is likely impossible. And, as it's the age and appearance of the men we are talking about here (and not the appearance or youth of the women, which it seems we've both concurred on), this side issue isn't a big deal, I'd think. If a man is ok with the fact that a woman is there more for his ability to "provide", or because she feels he's more likely to be a long term "provider", than that is his call. Certainly, I can see why older men would be ok with using his money to get a much younger and very attractive girlfriend/wife. They should, however, be aware of why that young attractive girl is there. ABC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 26, 2003 Report Share Posted May 26, 2003 Some women, when the need to foresake looks/age for money disappears (i.e. when she has more money), simply chose to no longer ignore looks, age, and culture as things they seek in a partner. ------------------------------------ actually, if you talk about thai women, they become the catch prize for young thai men, I know a couple cases of 2 divorced thais from farangs who got younger thai guys, and consequently spent on them much of the money they came back with. As far as Asian americans dating guys, I never said they were old guys, but rather nerdy or plain (at least compared to their cutie GF). Obviously, these girls may interest some good looking, even well-off guys, but still end up with the down to earth, more predictable one. Not a rule, of course, but just seen.... but others will act on the common interests and pleasantness a guy provides to her eyes. ----------------------------------------- those 2 might not come together, I am still of the mind that for asian women, and quite a few others actually, the second one is not an important pre-requisite. The thing is, we all agree that all things being equal...but at present, they are not, and that is what we talk about.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crash999 Posted June 17, 2003 Report Share Posted June 17, 2003 Says rush: Just wandering??? I know that money is king when in comes to getting these girls but is it easier for the guys who are younger, in good shape and shall I say"hansum" Whoah... this thread got overly complex. All the guy asked is 'is it easier'... and the answer to that is YES. It's certainly not more difficult. If you're equally as wealthy and can talk to a girl equally well, and have equally good intentions with the girl. Then yes, it's easier of you're young and handsome. Why wouldn't it be? Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted June 17, 2003 Report Share Posted June 17, 2003 Says Crash999: Says rush: Just wandering??? I know that money is king when in comes to getting these girls but is it easier for the guys who are younger, in good shape and shall I say"hansum" Whoah... this thread got overly complex. All the guy asked is 'is it easier'... and the answer to that is YES. It's certainly not more difficult. If you're equally as wealthy and can talk to a girl equally well, and have equally good intentions with the girl. Then yes, it's easier of you're young and handsome. Why wouldn't it be? Cheers! Well you could be young and handsome but you may come across as a pussy, silly, insincere,goofy, immature or just plain young and dumb. Some women do not like that in a guy. Women are not that simplistic to only ascertain looks and youth when sizing up men, mates, customers etc. I don't think we give women enough credit in how they evaluate men. I assure you it isn't like a Hollywood movie with the young guy with great looking hair and a killer smile wearing designer clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted June 17, 2003 Report Share Posted June 17, 2003 [color:"red"] We old dudes don't have that lust for new flesh anymore. [/color] Dear check_bin_krap, I don't believe you for a second!!! It is not that you guys don't have the lust, IMO, it is more like you guys don't have the energy and know better!!!! :: You reminded of a couple (old friends) I have (American man/Norwegian woman) who have been married for over 35 yrs. She told me that her husband likes to give critiques to girls passing by and one day he was lusting after an 18 yrs. old. So the wife said "You won't like her, she cannot carry on an intelligent conversation." His answer was "Who cares about talking, I will be too busy trying to perform. Besides, I always can talk to YOU" :: Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crash999 Posted June 17, 2003 Report Share Posted June 17, 2003 Says jjsushi: Says Crash999: Says rush: Just wandering??? I know that money is king when in comes to getting these girls but is it easier for the guys who are younger, in good shape and shall I say"hansum" Whoah... this thread got overly complex. All the guy asked is 'is it easier'... and the answer to that is YES. It's certainly not more difficult. If you're equally as wealthy and can talk to a girl equally well, and have equally good intentions with the girl. Then yes, it's easier of you're young and handsome. Why wouldn't it be? Cheers! Well you could be young and handsome but you may come across as a pussy, silly, insincere,goofy, immature or just plain young and dumb. Some women do not like that in a guy. Women are not that simplistic to only ascertain looks and youth when sizing up men, mates, customers etc. I don't think we give women enough credit in how they evaluate men. I assure you it isn't like a Hollywood movie with the young guy with great looking hair and a killer smile wearing designer clothes. Once again, all things being equal (using your examples- equal levels of pussiness, silliness, insincerity, goofiness, immaturity, and intelligence) then being young and handsome is a benefit. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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