jasmine Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 [color:"red"] do not think so. I think many of us on this board are extremely grateful to our parents, and have witnessed them helping our grandparents if they needed help, like mine did. [/color] P127, I stand corrected, you have always been the EXCEPTION Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 [color:"red"] If things don't work out with my TG, I know that I helped her family out and made her mother's old age a little easier to bear after a life of hard work and I feel good for that. [/color] Hi, That is all about helping that you make someone's life better, thanks. Cheers! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 [color:"red"] well we have found that THAI hotbutton of yours! [/color] There are many more!!! [color:"red"]BTW- some forget that many Thai women enter prostitution because of the desire to take care of their parents. How many men would even contemplate having their bottoms sexually violated in order to earn money to take care of family? [/color] There was a young guy (21) in a Northern village who just died of AIDS 2 years ago who was a male prostitue. He enterred the occupation 3 years prior to his death. With the money he earned, had built a house (not great, but better than it was), set up some money for his orphaned niece (10 yrs. old) school funds and a little money left in the bank for his ailing mother. I checked on this story because a woman who had seen me growing up told me. It is true that Thai females seem to take care of the families more than men. But in my case my little brother has been doing it. It is my family tradition that ones do what we can for parents, and our parents are good, did anything-for-children type. My mother in law is now ill in a nursing home and Hubby (the only son) is having a hard time. He seems to avoid going to see her (6 hrs drive) and I cannot encourage him to visit her more often. However, he has no problem on what I do for mine. I respect the people's feelings and I expect mine to be respected, ones don't have to understand the feelings, but respected, nevertheless. Cheers! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 >>>In the group of friends I have with Thai wives, we have exactly the opposite reaction most people have on this board, we brag about how much our wives? spend and how much the family costs.<<< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 I really don't understand why some people associate giving money in any form or family needing fincial assistance is a negative thing. Where would we all be if we did not receive "help" in whatever form from others at some point in our lives? JJ, I'll give you a reason. If helping your family means giving up your ability to save money for your pension, it could easily hurt your future in the long term. For me, Giving out a couple of 1,000's of baht every month can easily mean that I would have to postpone my retirement for a couple of years, while at the same time not being sure if I am still wanted as a member of the workforce at that time. Not everybody has the financial capacity to shell out that sort of money every month! Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 [color:"red"] Giving out a couple of 1,000's of baht every month can easily mean that I would have to postpone my retirement for a couple of years, while at the same time not being sure if I am still wanted as a member of the workforce at that time. [/color] I understand what you mean about saving for retirement. However, what would happen if your GF does not earn anything? I was brought up to give things to people and the immediatee family and many times, I had to skimp and skip some purchases. Purchasing a car for my brother means that I should work 2 months longer than planned. What I would suggest (hope you don't find it intrusive), is putting yourself in the GF shoes as deep as you can and perhaps you will understand why she feels the obligation better. It is going to be difficult but if you try, you may gain some insight. I think I understand her though. I have a little niece who is 14, very good in school. My brother is retiring from government lawyer job (due to his health)and will open his own office next April. With the new venture coming up, the only thing he worries about is his ability to send his daughter to a Univ. because right now, it costs over $7,000/month in BKK. He asked me (the only help he ever asks) to help ensure that his daughter has a college fund. The truth be told, I am not prepared for that type of expenses and I will go out by this Jan., no mattere what. Hubby said he can work longer and quite understands about my wants to ensure that my niece is educated. It takes two to tango, SOONGMAK and a relationship can be difficult without money concerns. IMO, money is only a tool but worrying about it can hurt a relationship. Cheers! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 <<I cannot fathom, a dedication that we in the West seem to forget. That is why we have old age homes and retirement communities to take care of our elderly. They get 3 square tasteless meals a day and all of the painkillers they need to wile away the boredom as they wait to die>> My mum is a Warden on a government funded old people 'sheltered accommodation scheme', basically she (and dad) live in a house surrounded by 40 or so bungalows who she is on call for 24/7 via an intercom system in the event of problems they have. She also organises many events at the community centre and plans day trips here and there. Its not uncommon in the event a resident dies and all sorts of family emerge from the woodwork, most likely seeing what they can benefit. Funny how alot of these people my mum never saw too often, even times when some got sick bad. My mrs cannot fathom my mums job out. 'Why old people no live with family'...'because my darling, we live in a selfish greedy society' :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 Says flyonzewall: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Jasmine, Once again you talk about different things here. You're looking at ways to support a good education for a familty member (I would do the same) and soonmahk is looking to support familymembers that appear to have no purpose in life other than living off that support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 >>we brag about how much our wives? spend <<< Mine spends about a 100K per month and that doesn't include family support. What about yours??? Love this bragging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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