thai3 Posted January 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 There's no way I would pay for health ins for her mum, don't even have that myself. Told her she would get (not how much) money if I snuffed it from work pension fund and that I will obviously leave house ect to her. I like the tin idea for saving money- peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted January 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 I have asked her about her daughter coming over but she has not answered yet. I am not sure it is in the childs interest which is most important, have to see.-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted January 30, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 HIGH THAIED said:>>>>can I afford her?<<<< Marriage with anybody is maybe the most important decision you will ever make. Don't do it, unless you are both on the same page concerning every aspect. Just my opinion. HT Quite agree, it's worse than buying a house, and I expect as expensive in the long run. Thanks for all the suggestions and comments guys, lots of common sense there-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 > especialy with a Thai girl ( due to cultural issues), that it is exstremly clear what the money situation will be when married. IMO, a futile effort. Any obstacle or reasoning would be greeted with "you don't want my child to eat, haaa?". It's hard for them to understand that farangs have their financial limits. Even if they did understand, they are not on the market for someone who has problems too, they are after a solution. A long contemplated hook up attempt with a farang has failed if it starts with explanations that financial situation won't be what she dreamed of or not even a half of it. There are plenty of farangs in the sea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 [color:"green"] There are plenty of farangs in the sea! [/color] Yeah, but most of them are in the same boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 shygye said:Yeah, but most of them are in the same boat. If so, then the answer to the title of the thread must be no! TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 >Yeah, but most of them are in the same boat. BGs even more of that. But matches still happen, many fail but the process is rolling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 Hi TTM, >>>It's hard for them to understand that farangs have their financial limits. Even if they did understand, they are not on the market for someone who has problems too, they are after a solution.<<< I guess that is my point. Before entering into marriage, they must understand you are not a walking ATM. Case in point, is my girlfriend. I've told her many times that if she is looking for a rich farang, she can do much better than me. While I do help her out a little, she very much realizes that she needs to support herself there, through a job, or lose apartment, and must move back home with parents, resulting in a 3 hour commute each day to work. Posters situation is a little different because a child is involved. But it does sound like his g/f is placing her security as the number one priority in her relationship with him, based on her statement that she has agreed to marriage, even though they really don't know each other very well. Given the fact that she has pressures from family, and the responsibility of caring for her child, it does not sound as though she is deeply in love, as a primary reason for wanting to be with Thai3. I had an unusual situation this last time, in that I forgot my credit card, which resulted in my g/f and I living in her tiny apt. for 11 days, with little money, and not even a TV in the room. Only had 4 walls, a bed, a table, and a little radio the size of a deck of cards. I would suggest creating a similar situation for poster. We could not have been happier staying at the Oriental. Money has nothing to do with how we are together. Sure it's important, and great when you have lots of it. But it also has to be great, without it, if thinking of marriage, or involved in a serious relationship. Being able to just be with each other, should be the driving force behind the union. Everything else should be secondary. Footnote: Fucking Citibank finally got a replacement card to me on my next to last day there. I'm greatfull they took so long. My best trip ever was being in Thailand with little money, and with a person who did not care about that, and was only interested in sharing me with her family and friends, and herself. IMO, poster needs to spend a lot more time with his intended, before even putting marriage on the table. Needs to get to know her much better, and her family as well. I think a great relationship is very possible with a Thai girl. But it does require an enormous amount of time and effort, due to certain aspects of the culture there. HT And yes, my g/f now has a TV, due to a late night run to Tesco-Lotus my last night there, to keep her company until I can return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 You spent a holiday week in her little tiny apt and thought is was really neat to live like that. She has spent her whole life like that; I doubt she thinks it is really neat. As soon as your ATM card arrived, you then went out on the spur of the moment and spent 5+K baht or so on TV. You still expect her to believe you are not rich (from her perspective)? I don't think you really understand her position. Though I do think you are trying, you are sending mixed signals that could be construed as not being fully committed to her security. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted January 30, 2004 Report Share Posted January 30, 2004 One thing I have noticed with some Thai woman is an ugly tendency to start presenting certain issues soon after marriage that require either one off payments --------------------------- I feel lucky. I have (no doubt, out of uncleverness on their part) been presented a few, if hints only, before marriage. The shape of things to come? What you say is exactly what is keeping me from getting married at this point, based on my experiences with GFs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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