Guest Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 Hi New Petchburi Pete, It's all different. My girl comes from a middle-class home with 2 new SUV's in the driveway, and a very nice house. They do not need my income to survive, and are not seeking it. My gf does give money to her grandmother when she can, because that is who raised her, and whom she feels most commited too. Their concern is that their daughter has found someone who will love her, and take care of her. Not finanacially, but emotionally. I spent a good deal of time with her family this time, and they assured me that this is their only concern, in that I was honest in my love for her, and that I felt the same as she does for me. The illusion that every Thai girl relationship needs to be tied to money is false. Her family's desire is to have their daughter be happy. They all are well apraised of my recent divorse, and the financial devastation that insued. They just want to see their baby happy. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 >She (or the family) just wants 6000, simple as that. Also, very simple: thai3 has been given a right to support her. If he does not use the right to full extent, he'll lose it (or at least exclusivity in accessing her). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 "thai3 has been given a right to support her. Should add, at a level she determines is correct and sufficient, not him. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 Their concern is that their daughter has found someone who will love her, and take care of her. Not finanacially, but emotionally. I spent a good deal of time with her family this time, and they assured me that this is their only concern, in that I was honest in my love for her, and that I felt the same as she does for me. HT Man if the thought process and motives were only that simple. Think of an onion and it's many layers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 And you believe them? Part of love is support, emotional and financial! As part of your love, you will have to help her family, all part of the package! I go with the Onion analogy! If you don't want to help the family, then stay out of the marrage game... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 >they assured me that this is their only concern, in that I was honest in my love for her, and that I felt the same as she does for me. Well, if they had said that, we must trust them. If your relationship is going the way you are projecting on this board, that will be, if not unique then a rare case. I'm in a rare case too but there were situations along the way that made it feel as a common scenario. Reverting to that, still, is not totally rulled out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 So, you want to marry a Thai girl? The first thing you have to get through your head is she's not like you. You come from a first world country with a culture that is totally unlike her's. This you have to understand,. and understand fully. What you think at home is NOT what she thinks in LOS. You are responsible for yourself right now, nobody else. She, on the other hand, not only has her welfare to worry about, but the welfare of a son AND a family. Remember she's not you! She's from a different culture. SHE has different responsibilitires than you do. Period. Now let's talk money. Thai women start talking money and farangs start to run. "Head for the hills boys, they need a new truck!" I don't think we're talking a new truck in this situation, not even a new buffalo. We're talking about basic essentials required to live. Food, shelter, school for the kid. Things all people need to survive. To us in terms of money, it's peanuts. Probably the amount of money we could spend in a couple of nights at Nana. Now we've established what her responsibilities are, what are your responsibilities TO her. Simple. Help her, help her family and son. You didn't say what she was doing when you met her, but whatever that was, the purpose was so she could help her family. Very simple. Remember her culture says she must do this if it is needed. It's the Thai way of doing things. Now, you want her to marry you and move to farangville, but you've forgotten what HER responsibilities are. She's still has to take care of her son, and help her family. Help as in providing the basic essentials of life. She cannot and will not be happy with you until this responsibility is met. No matter how much poverty you plead, if the "help" part is not forthcoming and on a regular basis, the relationship is doomed. Now the ball's in your court. The answer is very simple. Either YOU help her or someone else will. Remember, she's NOT like you. She may love you to death, BUT if she worries about where the next buck is coming from, she'll never be happy. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you have to look at the world through her eyes so you understand where she's coming from. Best of luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 [color:"green"] My girl comes from a middle-class home with 2 new SUV's in the driveway, and a very nice house. [/color] But do they have HUGE loans to pay for this high living? Loans you will be asked to pay when the bubble bursts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jitagawn Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hi- From the overall position you are both in my suggestion is to put the brakes on this BEFORE you make a big move-Reevaluate- There are some big red flags there I am sorry to say IMHO. She sounds iffy regarding the care of her kid(6,000 baht is notmuch) The very best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted February 1, 2004 Report Share Posted February 1, 2004 I would say 6000BHT a month may make sense in basic terms. It would pay for food, clothes, school (?) and a few Bht left for the kid's care giver... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.