Good girls asking for money...

[JJsushi]

jasmine said:

 

Take this for what is worth, the majority of Thai women WANT money, is that so different from our Western sisters? Or is that our Western sister are not talking openly about the money? Do you really beleive that our Western sisters do not care about finance or perhaps they just know how to be smoother about it?

 

For me finance is one of the the priorities that must be understood in a relationship, that is men give, ok? I just had a very good career, but partnership does not have to be like mine and Hubby's, some earn $$$, another earns the keeps ----We can debate this in another time.

 

Jasmine

 

Nice to have someone else here that gets it!!

[Old Hippie]

I agree here that we are not fucking up the entire Thai economy. However, I do think a lot of guys do throw to much money needlesly at girl in and near the P4P scene, and that in turn raises expectations of girls who do have there hands out, amd look to farangs as a source of income, rather than their rich families (assuming they are from a rich family). I do feel "WE" as tourist/punters do ruin it for ourselves by not voting with our feet more often, and scoffing at things like 120bht beers in Nana etc...

 

I further agree, we all want money, and more money. But, If I want more money, I work more, have a second job occassionally, and invest what I can, where I can (I'll keep the bit about the gas futures/contracts in mind). Or else I curtail my wants and desires until I can affordthem, or change my mind...change my habbits if you will, something a lot of women (and many men) have trouble doing. What I don't do is just walk up to someone and say "give me xyz amount of money, with no commitment/obligation what so ever..." I also would not exploit someone's romantic interest in me for financial gain. Or maybe I would, oddly, the opportunity for that has never occurred... ::

 

I agree there has to be some sort of return, even if it is the satisfaction of helping someone you believe in and trust, whom at least some what respects you...Thje nerve of some of these girls has just gotton out of hand...

 

BTW, from what I have read, UNICEF (I am anti U.N.) "Save The Children" etc...are pretty much known to be scams with high over head...

[jasmine]

[color:"blue"] Nice to have someone else here that gets it!!

[/color]

 

Nice of you to say so, I can be the only Thai born female to admit that though!

 

For the past 10 years I have noticed worse things happened to the Thais and especially women. Everything is money, the more ones have the more greed:help:

 

I posted a long time ago of my experience of my first BF, an American navigator, that all people in Thammasart thought I was stupid for not taking any money nor gifts from him. We are talking about the upper/middle class here who also believed that having a BF is a gain. (Darn I could have retired when I was in my 30s!) Now I never talked about it, but they noticed that nothing was changed with me, still were wearing old clothes, spent 10 Baht a day (those days), nothing was new.

 

Beleive me Thai women NEVER keep a secret about what they gain from BFs, thay talk (more like showing off) about it constantly unless ones are brought up to guard certain secrets we call "personal".

 

My Thai family still remains the same about money, we take only what we earn honestly, never take advantage of people, especially the ones who love us, but still finance issues must be understood in a relationship.

 

Jasmine

[jasmine]

[color:"blue"] I further agree, we all want money, and more money. But, If I want more money, I work more, have a second job occassionally, and invest what I can, where I can (I'll keep the bit about the gas futures/contracts in mind). [/color]

 

Sweet OH, these women feel that they work just to give you company, don't you understand that?

 

Allow me to "raconter" words of a middle class Thai woman. "I sacrifice my time for my BF, I must be compensated, the more if he is a "farang" for I have to tolerate the looks of other Thais who may think that I am a whore!".

 

Take it for what is worth, ok?

 

Jasmine

[Old Hippie]

So was it right of her to just ask me for this amount of money? Without being my girlfriend? and where is it not appropriate? where is her pride etc? if she takes this money, and I sleep with her, then she is a whore no?

[jasmine]

[color:"blue"]So was it right of her to just ask me for this amount of money? Without being my girlfriend? and where is it not appropriate? where is her pride etc? if she takes this money, and I sleep with her, then she is a whore no?

[/color]

 

No OH, IMO, it is NOT right and you have seen my answer many times. What I have been saying is that some attitude that is prevelant exist with Thai women because of Thai men, ok allow me to expound.

 

I have never had Thai BF but many male friends. These Thai male friends, yes as old as I am, love to give me gifts, love to give their wives' gifts. Most gifts are not worth much, (I won't take expensive gifts anyway) but the effort and gester makes friendship wonderful. And these men will spend money on female friends and their mothers that they are being scolded by these women to whom they are trying to give to.

A man came all the way from Thailand to see me in Germany. The first thing he did prior to his trip was asking what I would want most, I said mangoes, Thai mangoes. Of course, he came dragging bruised mangoes(we couldn't eat them, so bruised) and a piece of Thai silk which his wife sent, and a Thai novel. We have a saying in Thai not to visit people without some little thing to give to the host.

 

Asian men, especially the Thai men I have known always give gifts, sometimes money and it spoils many of us. My brother who is the super stingy of the family remembers buying a little cake, a shirt or something from wherever he goes to give to my husband or me or my mother or wife who does not need any more shirts or cake, but the gesters warms the hearts.

 

Close friends when I was in Thailand give money, in one form or another and I never like this OH, but they do. There is an article about this in one of the Thai magazines recently that said "A Thai friendship includes money, be it in a loan or other forms, it still includes money".

 

Many of females learn what kind of a person a man is by testing on money. Many want to know whether the man is generous and how he would handle the money issues. It is not important whether the man has money, it is the willing either to explain or how he handles the request. (Mind you I am not saying that asking for money outright is a good way to tackle this issue) but we must know how the men handle the finance. It is very important in a relationship and partnership.

 

OH, I know you are a kind man, but I must say that you look at the request in a wrong way, too much like a business transaction or with the attitude that they are going to rip you off. Also, you equate the request with the returns. Now I know that the request comes from not so special females.

 

I have many Thais who I barely know asking for money, I normally give, very little, if I don't, I explain why. These people also test me about friendship and money, of course I got ripped off a few times.

 

I have wondered too OH, whether there was some communication gap here, for I did not have a problem expressing this issue even when I first met my first love which was the opposite, I had to fight off his $$$ I remember telling him that I couln't go out at night because I would have to take a taxi back to the dorm and I could not afford the taxis fare, that was the issue of money isn't it?

 

Thai women are conditioned to expect gifts be money or whatever from men. One of my GFs (who is rich with her parents money) said it is the effort and the willing that warms the heart, the poorer the man, the more it warms her heart .(she is downright easy if you ask me) ::

 

Jasmine

[jasmine]

[color:"blue"] Besides I don't care for jids too much, enough laws have already been passed for their sakes that infringe upon my lifestyle! Screw the little buggers!!

 

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[/color]

Sushi, you do NOT fool me with your tough talk You will give out the money faster than me if one of those kids just give you tsad looks! You will probably even make sure that they get to eat the best food money can buy!

 

Jasmine

[Old Hippie]

"...OH, I know you are a kind man,..."

 

No, I am pretty much a rat bastard.

 

"... but I must say that you look at the request in a wrong way, too much like a business transaction or with the attitude that they are going to rip you off. Also, you equate the request with the returns. Now I know that the request comes from not so special females..."

 

How else am I supposed to look at this? Here is a girl, questionable at best, even my "older Thai sister/confident" has told me she has her doubts, who will not let me meet the family she wants me to help...makes other excuses to be away, EVERYTIME I am in BKK. I don't think this was any test as part of a relationship at all, rather a test to see if she can get money...remember, she borrowed money before, which she paid back, this was a simple "Give me please" when I said no to the 20K she immediately asked "How much can you give me?" Followed up by a change in attitude when it appeared she might not get it...so I see no other way to see this. And under such circumstances, I take the request as an insult.

[the_numbers]

"Low rank government officials are a special breed I avoid like the plague, NOT a positive reference and I'd try to give a girl I like a better life than that"

 

I object to this statement on principle considering that paper pushers in offices such as the Ministry of Foreign Affairs or the Village Fund Administrative Office are far from an evil group. I'd like to know why you avoid them???

 

If you want to take the N.W.A. stance on the boys in brown "F*** the police" that's reasonable. The group is corrupt to the core and extorts money vis-a-vis broad unchecked powers daily. A lack of internal affairs officers or accountability fuel this system, and these people subsidize their meager wages that way.

 

The rotten officials in government office are more often people high up if you are looking for repulsive types IMHO. Especially permanent secretary types they have no issue of job security.

 

I would add to that the wage of 10,000-20,000 baht is not a terrible one unless you live in certain areas. location matters. If you are a thai and live on outer Ramkamhaeng in a house with friends, and take the bus to work you could easily subsist on this wage. You could even have requisite karaoke benders thanks to the countries booming cheap whiskey market of Mekhong and Saeng Som.

 

just a heads up - cheers,

 

the_numbers

[pattaya127]

I have never had Thai BF but many male friends

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the good thing about you, Jaz, is that no one here will say that this is yet another TG's common lie! Our only thai female regular and here she is, telling it to you just as it is!

 

Sorry to say, but some should really try to see that society from its POV, not theirs, or they will always be in "culture shock" mode.

 

You are right to say that many thai women expect any affluent man cultivating their friendship, to be able to help. The other thing is, that in this society, it is often a test of one's place in life to show it by being generous, as concerns thai men of a certain status (ie. having some money).

 

To add to the fact that it is hard to say no in that society when you are known to be able to help. Farangs are not so much singled out, as simply perceived to have the financial status that allows them to help.

 

Now, i am sure a thai guy can get out of it, if he wishes too, without loss of face on both sides. Farangs have it even easier. saying "sorry, I cannot really help you, I hope you can understand" is the perfect way to say no and stay friends.