Taking her home

[MaiLuk]

So you can talk about respecting the girl etc, and thats fine if you want to do it. All i'm saying is the frog should have known what the scorpion was gonna do and just said: "nobody gets a free ride."

 

I think if that's what you think of the girl, what reason on earth could there to possibly marry her. If you think of her as a whore, and she still acts like one, why bring her over anyway?

 

 

Soongmak, as you know some girls are bad news from their core and whoever tangles with them is going to get burned. They are scorpions. There are also a large number of BG s who are scorpions only when a frog is around (CT said the same thing in a different way). You also know that some BGs are real gems when the right person is around. If you are the right person then there is no problem with marrying your BG. If you are the wrong person you will soon feel a sting and I donâ??t know why anyone gave the girl a free ride in the first place. But they keep doing it.

 

So it seems that Iâ??m putting BGs in categories. I hate categories so donâ??t take them literally. Just trying to illustrate a point about how some nice guys will get shit on and this talk from some posters of â??if you would just treat them like a human beingâ? is a non-sequiter. If you are the frog in the rt the only answer is to get the scorpion off your back. There are two alternative ways to do it: First, dump the girl. Second, control the girl.

 

Note to Panadol: I'm sure you know this already. I'm talking here in the hypothetical in your thread and not implying anything about your girl .

 

 

[MaiLuk]

Boomah

>>Treating the girls like human beings and following the golden rule. Yeah yeah, quite the cliché, but I find it works.<<

 

Boomah, I never said not to treat your girl like a human being. As an example: if you tell your ex-BG you want her home at a certain time because you know she has some bad habits, first off you are doing yourself a favor. She comes home on time and you wonâ??t have to worry about what she is up to. Since you are sponsoring her I would say you are entitled to some peace of mind at a minimum.

 

Second, you are doing her a big favor by placing some structure on her previously chaotic life. You are also giving your rt a chance to work because if you give a typical BG enough string she will fuck up eventually. Then you will be one of these jack asses complaining about what a rotten girl your BG was and how she burned you. If you didnâ??t give her too much opportunity to fuck up then MAYBE it would have worked. I say maybe because there is no fool proof method of making things work.

 

As you can see I donâ??t think you should mistreat your girl. Iâ??m just saying take charge. There is a difference. And a girl who was basically shit on by everyone in her past might appreciate your efforts. I think Panadol mentioned it: you have to play the part of the man. Its what the girl wants. Play it well or donâ??t play.

 

There are some girls you will find in the scene with whom you will not have to play anything. She is ready made and willing to be your REAL partner. You can give her complete freedom etc. These girls are exceptional. Where I have a problem is so many guys seem to think that you should do the complete freedom thing with any BG and things will work out.

[MaiLuk]

Heartthai:

 

>>I prefer freelancers or BGs with sponsors because it puts me at ease. The ones with the most restrictive BFs are the ones that are the best in bed. The last one I was with has a BF that carts her off to HK every other month and calls her four times a day to make sure she isn't out partying.<<

 

So we are in agreement. The guy doesnâ??t control her enough so she is out fucking around. I imagine there is nothing more the HK guy can do since he canâ??t be with her 24/7.

 

>>It's because her BF is a jealous loser and I treat her like a human being.<<

 

WRONG!!! I know you are smart enough to not believe what you are saying. Are you telling me if the HK guy did not bring her to HK every other month and did not call her 4 times a day that she would then be declining to fuck you? Wrong wrong wrong. OK let me guess. If only he treated her like a â??human beingâ? whatever that means then she would wait for him to return with stars in her eyes. This is a simple matter of a girl who will fuck around on her HK guy BECAUSE he is not able to control her. I donâ??t care if he suddenly became â??niceâ? or â??respectfulâ? to her. To her, the HK guy is the frog. You are stepping off the reality train if you think otherwise.

 

Its possible of course that if YOU were her boyfriend she would be faithful. Maybe she looks at you differently. But if you left her alone for a month how certain would you be that she is?

[HeartThais]

Of course if she was with me, she wouldn't cheat! How dare you?!!!

 

I really hate the idea of controlling people, even lowly bargirls. Anyway, up to you how you want to deal with people. I think it's obvious that the more you try to control people, the more resentful they become. The more resentful they become, the less they respect your wishes. If she has a cheating heart, she'll cheat. But maybe, just maybe, if you are decent to her, she'll keep herself in check. Only she can make that decision. You'd have to go to some pretty extreme measures to take away that choice from her.

 

Some farang are in fantasyland. A person anywhere will quickly be able to determine their worth in the new setting. A farang landing in Thailand learns pretty quickly just how desirable his money and status can be. A pretty thai girl in farangland will determine very quickly how sexually desirable she is and what people will offer to fuck her. If you bring her to farangland, you need to compete with the rest of us to keep her loyalty. If you can't deal with that, best leave her at home. The worst ethical choice is to bring her to farangland, take away any leverage against you she has in her home country (e.g. other farangs), and then try and isolate her because of your own insecurities.

 

CT thinks I'm trying to make judgments about good or bad BG/farang. I'm not. I'm just talking about what's fair and decent in my book. Btw, there's no fucking way I trust a BG which is why I'd never date one. That said, if I DID date one, I'd treat her no differently than any one of my other girlfriends. Unless of course, by dating, we were really talking about a hooker-on-retainer type situation in which case I'd be looking for stuff to keep her occupied and sequestered while I fuck her.

[AF16]

Good posts all around here.

 

We may be looking at the farangs in black and white. Your typical farang is neither a control freak nor is he shining knight who treats his girl like a prima donna.

 

Here is a typical scenario I see in farangland. Farang brings thai girl who had a less than ideal profession back in thailand. During her professional years she developed some bad habits, such as partying until 6am and spending every bhat she earned on frivolous crap and fucking endless streams of farang. So the farang brought her here, married her and now believes he should treat her the same as he would a middle class farang girl. That is, completely trust her, let her go out dancing with her friends because ha has to trust her (she's my wife for chrissakes), give her money so she will have it if she needs it. Give her complete freedom to make friends with whomever she chooses, don't insist on her being home at a certain time etc.

 

These thai girls hang around together, help each other meet farang and its just a matter of time before our thai girl with all her freedom is out fucking around with some young farang guy, and spending all the money in her pocket getting drunk.

 

The farang husband of course has no clue because he trusts his wife and a good wife would never do these things. The girl herself probably likes her young farang boyfriend more than her husband because the boyfriend is not so polite with her. Believe it or not ex BGs are not so enamored of extremely polite farang, they want someone to take charge.

 

So you can talk about respecting the girl etc, and thats fine if you want to do it. All i'm saying is the frog should have known what the scorpion was gonna do and just said: "nobody gets a free ride."

 

 

Worked for me

[soongmak]

Just trying to illustrate a point about how some nice guys will get shit on and this talk from some posters of â??if you would just treat them like a human beingâ? is a non-sequiter. If you are the frog in the rt the only answer is to get the scorpion off your back. There are two alternative ways to do it: First, dump the girl. Second, control the girl.

 

It's hard to disagree with this one. Only problem here is that the frogs never understand that's what they are, frogs. That is the problem in real life. Everybody thinks he's the real guy.

 

People here looking for advice never think they are the frog with the scorpion on their back. If they thought so, they wouldn't be coming here for advice. But yes, I have seen many suckers taken for a fool by a BG AND vice versa. There are also LOTS and LOTS of BGs taken for a sucker ride by a lowlife farang who couldn't score in his own country if he tried. those girls thought they had it made, too!

 

My only point is that if you believe you're the one, better give it a shot. That doesn't include acting foolishly or gamble with more than you can afford. CT has a point there. Keep up your guard at least until you really get to know a person. Don't be that frog, act sensible, but treat your girl with respect.

 

Cheers!

[Old Hippie]

Funny, but awhile back, I suggested guys be careful when dealing with whores, or women in general. I was called names, told I should get off Sukhumvit more, and take time to understand whores and really get to know them, that they weren't their job etc...(all this while I had/have always noted exceptions can/do occur) now it seems, some guys may have pulled their heads out of their asses and realized I was/am right. Just wondering where all the idealism and optimism went?

[Dumsoda]

I'm still here.... just "lurking"...

 

[ChristianTroy]

Guys, Guys,

I basically agree with all of you which means nothing else than there are many ways to achieve happiness and not only one! Whoever believes there is only 1 way... is wrong! You interact and not blindly act. You have a trustworthy girl none of MaiLuks suggestions is necessary, your girl is still in whore mode you better get rid of her or if you are silly enough you try to fix yourself a nice girl and get rid of her behavior! If a girl is trying to change but has problems with it you give her pointers and if necessary some rules. The farang world is a different world, you need your elbows to make a good living sometimes, i see nothing wrong with taking charge and taking her by the hand and leading her into a new life with pointers and rules until she has enough confidence and strength to stand on her own feet. Bottom line is they are hookers and maybe it is political incorrect to not forget about that but these people don't see the things I see everyday and they don't her the stories they tell me when their husbands are gone. Being careful must be allowed otherwise you could get burned too quickly and the fact that you are her boyfriend now doesn't change her past and her goals. Be careful! Thai Girls are used to be lower ranked as the man. They expect you to be in charge and if you want her to be equal don't expect her to understand that concept right from the start. It is a process and not a decision on makes because he thinks it is best!

 

HT

I am definitely not saying you were making judgments I was asking about the possible constellations!

 

AF16

Worked for you and didn't worked for hundred thousands of guys! You maybe picked the right girl or maybe been lucky but let's please not forget that according to your posts her gambling habit stuck with her and from what I recall it wasn't really cheap to cover for that! This is one of the things that could have been prevented I guess which is not supposed to mean that you have a bad relationship, I recall you and SongMaak as 2 of those who made it work, as two patient guys who had to teach their beloved ladies a lot of things until she was able to stand on her own feet and there is nothing wrong with it, nobody can expect from a girl that she can do everything right away!

 

HT again

the HK girl is the typical Scorpion girl, she fucks with you no matter how bad her husband is treating her, she is simply not ready for the next step and her husband feels that which still doesn't make his wrong doings right, I am just saying that the argument that she fucks you because he is an idiot is wrong! She fucks with you because she wants to fuck you, same as the Girl married to that Aussie who describes her husband as the perfect man and still she won't stop having sex with me for free! If her husband would post here he would definitely believe he made it work and would report about his personal success story. He leaves the house for 2 hours she calls me or some other guys. I say it again, she calls him the perfect man!

 

These girls had 200 to 600 sex partners and all of a sudden she is supposed to have only one? Have you guys ever considered that their sexiness and beauty are their biggest power??? They miss that sometimes because the longer the relationship goes the less she hears the compliments from her husband or is already too used to hear it from him.For girls with such a background it isn't unnatural to miss the looks and compliments from dozens of men per night! This is many times the reason why they cheat or never really leave the game!

[Old Hippie]

Wish I was there with you! But soon my surgery will be complete, and I will indeed be "Miss Perfect!!" And I sort of ment a few others... See you in SFO soon! Ramon is waiting!