AF16 Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 CT, my wife have no problem with gambling. Ofcourse I have thought my wife a lot of things, as she has to me, but no need to control her or choose her friends. She have had good friends and bad friends, the bad ones dropping away as she went along. Up to her. There is a difference between giving advice and making decisions. One of my wifes friends have a controlling husband that forbid his wife to visit other Thais. Don't want BG to soil her I guess, but she just lies to him and does so anyway. She does nothing wrong, does not cheat on him, but she choose her friends her self, lying about it to her husband. Fuckwit. Another TG we know of but do not spend time with are refused by her husband to talk Thai. He thrashes her verbally if she talks Thai to the Thai people she meet, in front of everyone. Much different from suggesting to your wife that she will learn better if she try communicating as much as she can in her new language. Fuckwit. We met her once, she being with her husbands mother, and she talked to my wife in Thai. The mother chewed off a 'ooo so you got to talk some Thai today' in a biting tone. I felt like slapping her. Fuckwit. I have no respect for people like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted June 2, 2007 Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 Just talked to my wife and she say that some girls just fuck around, don't matter if you control or do not not control them. Some don't and control is not a good thing. Good thinking in my view. If you have a girl you 'need' to control she will fuck around anyhow. If you do not have a girl you 'need' to control, it's negative to a relationship to treat her as your property. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 To me, if you have a good partner, you would not want to cheat, be you man, woman,ex-punter,ex-bar girl etc...The trouble usually starts when one partner or both is just not happy...could be any host of reasons... AF, Your comments about the fuckwits rings true with what I see with some Thai woman here. Including one woman I got involved with (she never told me she was married) Essentially, the husbands have no interest in anything Thai, and can't accept the fact that their wife is still Thai even if she is not in Thailand. To me, when you marry inter culturally you have to be open and accepting to all things that come with it, that is on both sides of course. I don't get these guys who basically hate anything Thai/different, yet marry a Thai woman/woman of a different culture. I see a lot of this here, makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Some guys are not able to deal with a second culture in their domestic life since it would require a small amount of mental agility. Feel sorry for a thai girl who finds herself with one of these guys but maybe the guy has something else going for him that interests the girl :smirk: Who was calling you names? Not me (that i recall anyway). I always agreed with your warnings about the girls. Our differences related more about whether the girls were still worth taking a chance on even though it might turn into a deadend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Not an issue with you I agree, guys make their own decisions, and decide if she is worth a risk...but frankly, the stats are against it...but then they are against marrage in general...I just take issue with what I see as a growing trend, and that is guys going and intentionally looking for a wife/GF in the whore venues...and casting all cautions aside as the ramblings of a bitter and stupid person... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panadolsandwich Posted June 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 I've been out of contact for a while. I'm surprised by the amount of posts here. It's gone off on a tangent, useful but not particularly enlightening. I'd hoped for more direct advise rather than generalized stereotyping. Except this is a *specific* case and perhaps I haven't been informative enough? One thing I do know is that I love this girl. Love can mean many different things to many people so let me define what it means to me. Love to me means doing everything in your power to allow someone to grow spiritually. To respect her right to being an individual human being. To respect her religion. To recognise and acknowledge her beauty. To respect her family, her home, her belongings, her spiritual advisors, monks, and for the most part her King. I love her, so I don't want her to be bored. Not as some people suggest I'd vilely desire to keep her housebound as some type of sex slave (don't you have any conscience?). Of course she will be (sponsored). She will have the same amount of money I personally use when traveling aboard - minus accommodation of course. Hers for whatever she wants. I impose no restrictions on her. When I studied, I wasn't locked in a room. Study freed me from poverty ultimately to put it bluntly. It allowed me to also get a better view - of wrong and right. I suggest study for her, because I love her. I've got absolutely no problem with her meeting other students, or Professors; indeed anyone. If she does find someone she likes better - than I have no hold over her (apart from whatever duties acting as a sponsor to Australia entails). Also, because I love her, if this situation happens, I will assist her (if needs be and I feel it is good for her). In summary, I love her, which means I'll be doing my best for *her*. This doesn't mean I'll be handing her all my money - as some people will like to insinuate. So why no advise on doing the best for her? Now give me some better advice please??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 OK, I'd say start with some basic education, English, and or Vocational training. If she actually does this, makes the effort etc, than I'd say give her some additional responsibility. See how she handles it. The biggest problems I see stem from the girl just getting bored, and losing interest in her new surroundings/relationship. If she is honestly making an effort to better herself, and works with you to make a home, relationship etc, then I'd say you may have beat the odds. But as I usually say (and you seem to understand) go slow with money, gifts for nothing and other stuff...Best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panadolsandwich Posted June 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 OK, I'd say start with some basic education, English, and or Vocational training. If she actually does this, makes the effort etc, than I'd say give her some additional responsibility. See how she handles it. The biggest problems I see stem from the girl just getting bored, and losing interest in her new surroundings/relationship. If she is honestly making an effort to better herself, and works with you to make a home, relationship etc, then I'd say you may have beat the odds. But as I usually say (and you seem to understand) go slow with money, gifts for nothing and other stuff...Best of luck to you. Thanks OH, very insightful comment. She does have the basic education however. She's worked at a number of five star hotels in Bangkok. She was promoted for her ability to speak English. She wants the opportunity to learn English in an English speaking setting. I want her to do this. Learning English appears to be the best way out of the poverty trap in SE Asia. I've met her family and everything. They have been absolutely awesome to me - in ways I find hard to describe simply here. They make me feel at home in Thailand - I've been accepted. If you've never been accepted; you'll never understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Know what you mean, and understand it. A few other vocational options besides English, computer tech and such, as most of it all involves English. I know a few girls who went into this, and repair end, and they do o.k. To me, I'd just say keep her mind occupied, and she'll sort it all out as she goes, have seen it done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted June 3, 2007 Report Share Posted June 3, 2007 Panadol, Take the sdvice offered....for exactly what it's worth... A lot of comments will be biased against getting involved.... read, observe and then Make you own call.... don't be led astray by the cynics!!! (...and NO, I'm not having a shot at OH here).. Being accepted "is" special...I agree....good for you... Hope it all works out well for you...."Different" girls DO exist....it's just that you have to be extremely "Lucky" to find one... Welcome to the Club... Chock dee krab DS....(sometimes DC) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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