khun_khon_neua Posted March 17, 2008 Report Share Posted March 17, 2008 Love the post. All you left out was how well the Thai/Buddhist cultural thing can play to a western co-dependent personality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted March 17, 2008 Report Share Posted March 17, 2008 I wonder whether there is a correlation between getting older and tape loops, and the more fucked up u got in ur childhood the more tape loops u got running...or the more unhappy u get in life the more tape loops...Anybody knows of research about this? Not judging the OP's situation, just curious in general. The most significant problem is that most people don't really know the degree to which they are damaged. They wander through life encountering problems, seldom learning. Insight into ones own (and others) condition is a rare thing. The very defence mechanisms used to protect and maintain ourselves maybe the same ones that hinder positive change. It is often said and observed that people only really change when they 'hit rock bottom'....although some just go under. Very few make lasting discernible changes on their own. As a shrink, it was one of my more interesting tasks to draw attention to unconscious, often heavily defended behaviours/cognitive processes and drag them kicking and screaming into the conscious arena, thereby facilitating the possibility of working on them. The unconscious processes are the cycles or loops previously referenced. Due to the fact that these cyclical behaviours/processes are unconscious, people are unaware/oblivious to the affect they have on their lives. So, in answering your question, with the previous information borne in mind, if your thinking is distorted, due to traumatic experiences and no one is there to help you realise these errors in judgement, over time the original distortion may become compounded. Further negative experiences may reinforce the distorted thinking. Leaving the 'issues' unaddressed means they keep on informing the individuals present. Many herein will be aware of the BGs moral deterioration over time. I think this illustrates the reinforcement of experience. If you continually equate intimacy with financial gain and using others to get what you want and being used by others, the resulting personality is not going to be nice. A highly 'cold' callous person would be the expected and likely outcome. Add into the mix early negative, traumatic and disturbing experiences at the hands of men and you've got someone angry and disturbed, not dissimilar in functioning to a sociopath. Shrinks like to call this 'cut off'...it means the person is emotionally cold and possibly unreachable, viewing others as a means to an end. Highly manipulative, deviant, uncaring and just plain nasty. A nice 'catch all' term often bandied about is 'personality disordered'. There's lots of different types, but I'll deal with the hypothetical BG for now. Unless you are highly tolerant, insightful, consistent, emotionally stable and mature, able to handle shitloads of shit coming at you and forgive transgressions then I'd say stay the hell away from such a person. Most emotional damage can be healed. It needs someone who really knows what they're getting into to deal with it though. Most aren't 'cut out' for such a task and will inevitably fall victim to it. Time is great healer...sure...but that's if the individual is allowed to or able to heal. If you are the boyfriend of such a lady and you have your own significant unresolved issues, you are fucked. As an aside this is not culturally biased. People really are people. Culture may help or hinder in various ways, but people generally react the same throughout the world. Emotional warmth is a universal human trait, as is what it means to be treated like shit. Anyway, hope that answers something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger77 Posted March 17, 2008 Report Share Posted March 17, 2008 Wow, great post Faustian...great insight. Now I know I'm screwed! Dammit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Faustian I give you an A+ in Stating the Fucking Obvious. Since you are such a good shrink (in your own mind) why don't you get yourself a decent well paid career over here in Thailand rather than bitch every time someone, in your myopic opinion, happens to mention that they are doing better than you and having the us and them philosophy. As Freud would have summed it up, you suffer from Penis Envy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Is that when the "Girlfriend" has a bigger one???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomah Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Really appreciate this thread, some very insightful & mature replies. I only wish I had something to offer... For now it's a lot of read & learn for me! Ahui hou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Really appreciate this thread, some very insightful & mature replies. I only wish I had something to offer... For now it's a lot of read & learn for me! Ahui hou You never stop learning on this board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Faustian I give you an A+ in Stating the Fucking Obvious. Since you are such a good shrink (in your own mind) why don't you get yourself a decent well paid career over here in Thailand rather than bitch every time someone, in your myopic opinion, happens to mention that they are doing better than you and having the us and them philosophy. As Freud would have summed it up, you suffer from Penis Envy. Yes it is obvious, to me and seemingly to you and i avoided anything too technical and complicated or heaven forbid 'deep', plus i generalised on a range of matters and implied and inferred throughout. You are lucky that you are so well informed Mekong. Most people don't know a lot of what i wrote about. Some know bits, but by its very nature the unconscious is not something you can be aware of, unless you are lucky enough to have people around you who give a shit, or you are gifted with insight into your own condition. I'm unsurprised you reacted in such a hostile manner and of course wingman number 2 was right there, all fully paid up members of the old boys club. I'm happy you are so rich and successful, but why do you feel the need to mention it constantly? I hope others, who maybe don't possess the same level of genius as your good self, might find something useful in what I've written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 ...... and of course wingman number 2 was right there, all fully paid up members of the old boys club. I'm happy you are so rich and successful, but why do you feel the need to mention it constantly? ..... For an EX "shrink" you seem to have more "issues" than me....lol...and fcuk knows...I've got a few...555555 No OBC....in fact I think Khun "M" & I have only met on 1 occasion....and that was at "Gullibles"... He was in the company of his VERY charming wife...."da bitch"....lol....(her words, not mine!!!) ...and I was in the company of my VERY charming, VERY intelligent, "working girl" GF.... Did he / they judge me / us??? No farkn way....we had a very enjoyable meet and a pleasant time amongst a very "mixed" group of people.... In fact, next time we might do it at the State Tower.....Why???? ...Because we can!!!!!!! Have a very nice day!!!! Cheers DC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 Faustian I give you an A+ in Stating the Fucking Obvious. Since you are such a good shrink (in your own mind) why don't you get yourself a decent well paid career over here in Thailand rather than bitch every time someone, in your myopic opinion, happens to mention that they are doing better than you and having the us and them philosophy. Jeez Mekong, What's up with all that hostility? Faustian is really contributing to this thread and there's no reason to stalk him here. BTW, he's not the only one who gets annoyed with the unsollicited self congratulatory passages in your posts. It was nice to see you contribute in this thread without your ego getting in the way for once. Why not keep it that way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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