What is a good BG?

[Guest]

 

also, thai man are conned as well into it as we westerners.

 

I used to think that guys taking sex workers as girlfriends/wives was a unique thai/farang thing. About a year ago I heard about a cousin of my girlfriend who was working in a massage parlor in chumpon. A well off plantation owner took her as his girlfriend, and gave her a pretty good lifestyle.

 

This girlfriend herself had been for while what I guess you would call a 'mia gep', as the guy was married put her up in an appartment and gave her spending money, and saw her severals time a week. Really blurs the lines about what prostitution is.

 

There were a few posts suggesting mia chao implies no love. Not true - I don't think it says anything about emotions involved for either party. It's just about relationship expectations. The women expects to be supported financially in some manner, the man expects sexual access, but there is no expectation of serious longterm commitment.

 

 

 

 

 

[BelgianBoy]

Says worldwalker:

---

 

I don't think it says anything about emotions involved for either party. It's just about relationship expectations. The women expects to be supported financially in some manner, the man expects sexual access, but there is no expectation of serious longterm commitment.

 

---

 

Doesn't this sums it all up ?

 

Cheers !

[think_too_mut]

>>God, this would explain sooo much. No wonder TTM's girlfriend ducked the question. This is the very last thing they would want us to know about.

 

 

Today, she could not avoid the question.

After hers "Why you know?!", I asked her to explain how does it work.

 

And on she went.

 

HT, this could be a Thai translation of your scenario ( not much of a structure in it, cut&paste from the chat, I corrected the spelling):

 

"Before you have wife.

Sorry I stay with my wife.

Every day.

Come Thailand holiday.

Sorry I have my wife, good buye.

No come Thailand.

What I do?

How can I do?

Why you come my life?

Why you change my life to leave me?

I have to live.

When you go?

When you forget me?

I am lie.

How can I do?

Tomorrow you forget me.

Now you no have wife.

I see you 12 hour everyday.

You no go other women.

You talk to me.

I see you all the time.

You with me now.

Before how I know?

Yes, I go with men 2 time.

You have sex with your wife I am not ask.

You can leave me everyday, OK.

OK, you can.

How can I do?

I am thinking, thinking how I do.

I can do my bad way.

I am bad girl, you forgive me many many time.

You forgive my past.

No want more.

You take me with you, I work restaurant in your country.

I cook well.

I can do work.

I want learn more school long time.

I want have my man.

Want have children.

I don't like go other men.

I want take care of you".

 

There is one thing that just sprung to my mind: over the last 4 weeks she has never said me she loved me. Not even when we finish a conversation. Before, it was 50 times a day.

[Guest]

Hi worldwalker,

 

Fly's definition is much different in that is sounds as though girl is the only one to know is a mia chao relationship, and implies deceit on her part. Your definition implies both parties are fully aware of situation. I'm confused. Sounds like you're talking about a short-term mia noi (second wife) contract. And don't most wealthy Thai men have mia noi's, like in your example?

 

HT

 

[phoenix]

Brilliant tram\nslation of Thai Scenario, TTM.

 

I think I have heard every sentence in that line up. And many are so true.

[Guest]

Fly,

 

Now I have to wonder is she a "Mia chao". Just what I need, one more worry about my BGG.

[Guest]

>>I'm confused<<

 

now you start understanding! ::

 

some people are aware, some aren't. you gotta understand, nothing in this place goes the straight way. there may be deceit, but not necessarily.

very very complicated. in those kind of cases not even speaking the language is enough, but also understanding the more subtle undertones of the fabric of thai society and relationships between people here.

often the so called "deceit" is a cultural misunderstanding, things which are somehow expected from you to be understood without talking openly about it, but of course that is nearly impossible if you have not lived here for a very long time.

just remember, for thais our directness is as confusing as for us their avoidance to be direct.

[Guest]

>Just what I need, one more worry about my BGG. <

 

what can i do?

i can only try to explain to people what i know about this place here. it's up to you what you make out of it.

 

[Guest]

Fly's definition is much different in that is sounds as though girl is the only one to know is a mia chao relationship, and implies deceit on her part. Your definition implies both parties are fully aware of situation.

 

I think the key word here is 'fully', and that in a lot of farang with thai girl 'mia choa' relationships the guy does in fact know what is going on. But he's is in denial about it, perfering to belive that the relationship is like a 'normal' western one.

 

[Guest]

Hi,

 

Well, it seems as though if two constants are present when originated, it could be called mia chao. 1. one or both are not necessarily in love, and 2. one or both look at the relationship as not permanent (hence it being called "rented wife"). Beyond that, it could be anything from a comfortable relationship for them both, to an outright total scam on the part of the Thai bar girl.

 

TTM, thanks for sharing your email, and taking the time to put that together for us. Sounds like unless you are with her full-time, she will go with customer, and especially if you are with someone else (wife). Because she not know if you come back, she needs to think of herself (I am thinking, thinking how I do?..... I can do my bad way.) Of course, we have no way to know what your arraignment was/is with her, nor is it any of our business.

 

I'm finding I can understand Thai girls a lot better, if I stop seeing them as thinking like a girl, and them thinking more as we guys do. Less emotion, and more practical. The more I think about past experiences, the more I can understand how/why some of them do some of the things they do, if I place a guy/me in her situation (she not call me for 3 days, so I go out, get drunk, and get laid. ). Sounds like us, huh? They are the main bread-winners of the family in many cases, and Thailand prides itself on it's women working as hard as the men. I personally don't know any western woman supporting her entire family, including her parents. That has to put some special pressures on them. Because many of us only have western women to compare Thai girls to, this is the basic basis of most confusion, at least for me. We naturally expect them to act and think like all the other women we know, and they just don't.

 

So what we got here? Incredibly beautiful, elegant, small, sexy, shy goddesses who whisper kaaaaaaaa as they sniff kiss you, but the mind of a man. GOD DAMN that's scary. But it does explain why they always win at connect four, and pool. ::

 

Fly, Thanks for your contributions here. It's a great thread so far, and I've learned a lot. This mia chao thing is very interesting. I know it must be hard to explain, because it seems it can be present in many forms. Not a situation where you can apply a template, and be done with it. But is still very important to know it is out there, especially because it appears to not be a rare situation.

 

Worldwalker,

 

>>>>I think the key word here is 'fully', and that in a lot of farang with thai girl 'mia choa' relationships the guy does in fact know what is going on. But he's is in denial about it, perfering to belive that the relationship is like a 'normal' western one.<<<<

 

Do you mean in the fact she may not love him, or she may be taking on customers, still yet?

 

HT